Bras

[aboywithgirls]

I can say that breast comfort and breast concealment have a difficult time coexisting. 

The more support you have for your boobs, generally will also increase your projection however, a well supported breast is a comfortable breast. A well fitted underwire bra will not only support your breasts, it will also provide a shape that's astheticaly pleasing. If you wish to not look like Marilyn Monroe or a 1950s pin up girl, ask your bra fitter for something that gives you a more rounded breast presentation.

On the other hand, the opposite end of the spectrum you have compression sports bras, breast binders, and gynecomastia vests. While these are all effective at reducing the appearance of fully formed breasts, they can and likely will damage your breast tissue and lymphattic system with over use and abuse.

Women from generations before us have done all of the hard work in developing a bra for literally every possible occasion. A good bra fitter at a reputable boutique can almost certainly get any one into a bra that fits and works.

[Johndoe1]

Women from generations before us have done all of the hard work in developing a bra for literally every possible occasion. A good bra fitter at a reputable boutique can almost certainly get any one into a bra that fits and works.

I can attest to Sophie's comment. Before I went to my bra fitter, I wore bras that didn't fit and did not present my chest well at all. It was obvious something was not right. I felt self conscience and physically uncomfortable and not well supported or contained. I felt if this is what women go through, I will go braless. That was just ridiculous. But after my first visit, the difference in fit, appearance and comfort were amazing. I was well supported, comfortable, and while my chest didn't appear flat, it never will without surgery, it didn't feel or look out of place and didn't scream bra or boobs. That sold me on the value and worth of a good bra fitter. I noticed that the number of exploring eyes on chest diminished. It has never been zero, and never will be. But the comments and rude stares are almost non existent for now. I now dress my chest for my breasts. I am no longer self conscience and being physically comfortable, supported and contained has reduced my anxiety over my chest in general and has led me to not care what others may think. That's what the correct bras for my body have done for me.

[brock123]

Women from generations before us have done all of the hard work in developing a bra for literally every possible occasion. A good bra fitter at a reputable boutique can almost certainly get any one into a bra that fits and works.

I can attest to Sophie's comment. Before I went to my bra fitter, I wore bras that didn't fit and did not present my chest well at all. It was obvious something was not right. I felt self conscience and physically uncomfortable and not well supported or contained. I felt if this is what women go through, I will go braless. That was just ridiculous. But after my first visit, the difference in fit, appearance and comfort were amazing. I was well supported, comfortable, and while my chest didn't appear flat, it never will without surgery, it didn't feel or look out of place and didn't scream bra or boobs. That sold me on the value and worth of a good bra fitter. I noticed that the number of exploring eyes on chest diminished. It has never been zero, and never will be. But the comments and rude stares are almost non existent for now. I now dress my chest for my breasts. I am no longer self conscience and being physically comfortable, supported and contained has reduced my anxiety over my chest in general and has led me to not care what others may think. That's what the correct bras for my body have done for me.

This a very mature and adult attitude to take; my only contribution would be that "what other people think" is actually their problem, not yours. If you are comfortable with your appearance, that's 95% of the battle.  Think about this; other than your immediate family (spouse, child, etc) that might reject your position and make you uncomfortable, do you really care how you present publicly?

It needs to be reiterated -- bras are for breasts.  It really doesn't matter if they are "just fat" or "Glandular" in nature.  Males will typically want to compress/hide this; Females will typically want to show off / present this. It's 100% cultural.

All humans have "boobs" of some measurable size.  What we choose to do about this, depending on our assigned gender, is our business.

[MychalBloodwing]

Women from generations before us have done all of the hard work in developing a bra for literally every possible occasion. A good bra fitter at a reputable boutique can almost certainly get any one into a bra that fits and works.

I can attest to Sophie's comment. Before I went to my bra fitter, I wore bras that didn't fit and did not present my chest well at all. It was obvious something was not right. I felt self conscience and physically uncomfortable and not well supported or contained. I felt if this is what women go through, I will go braless. That was just ridiculous. But after my first visit, the difference in fit, appearance and comfort were amazing. I was well supported, comfortable, and while my chest didn't appear flat, it never will without surgery, it didn't feel or look out of place and didn't scream bra or boobs. That sold me on the value and worth of a good bra fitter. I noticed that the number of exploring eyes on chest diminished. It has never been zero, and never will be. But the comments and rude stares are almost non existent for now. I now dress my chest for my breasts. I am no longer self conscience and being physically comfortable, supported and contained has reduced my anxiety over my chest in general and has led me to not care what others may think. That's what the correct bras for my body have done for me.

This a very mature and adult attitude to take; my only contribution would be that "what other people think" is actually their problem, not yours. If you are comfortable with your appearance, that's 95% of the battle.  Think about this; other than your immediate family (spouse, child, etc) that might reject your position and make you uncomfortable, do you really care how you present publicly?

It needs to be reiterated -- bras are for breasts.  It really doesn't matter if they are "just fat" or "Glandular" in nature.  Males will typically want to compress/hide this; Females will typically want to show off / present this. It's 100% cultural.

All humans have "boobs" of some measurable size.  What we choose to do about this, depending on our assigned gender, is our business.

Okay...so, based on brock123's contribution to this conversation, I am more female than male, which I embrace.

[Johndoe1]

That might be more truth than some are willing to admit and that's understandable and OK.

[42CSurprise!]

That might be more truth than some are willing to admit and that's understandable and OK.

This particular journey each of us is taking is mind bending to say the least.  We live in societies that have very clear ideas of what it means to be a man and that was surely the message we received growing up.  I spoke with a woman this morning whose mother always encouraged her to find a good man and for her brother to find a good woman.  Both concluded later in life that they were gay.  You won't find parents who celebrate the fact their sons develop breasts, though I know from reading on this website that some parents were supportive when the reality could not be denied.  But it isn't easy to let go of familiar definitions of gender, though it is certainly true we ignore such things as we select a brassiere.  We each find our own truth in our own way.  I think it is laudable that this community of men has been, by and large, supportive of differences in how other men respond to this reality.  Gender expression is among the most fundamental aspects of being human and is certainly one of the ways we find acceptance for ourselves.  I have an Oscar Wilde quote on my refrigerator that I like... Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.

[Orb]

  I have an Oscar Wilde quote on my refrigerator that I like... Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.

   I like that!

[brock123]

Okay...so, based on brock123's contribution to this conversation, I am more female than male, which I embrace.

In fairness, I wasn't trying to provide any insight into overarching gender identity concerns here.  But, if you feel you are more female than male and want to embrace/run with that, more power to you!!  I stand by the position that being true to yourself is the best way to project confidence, and having that confidence in yourself will, in turn (and maybe some time?), allow everyone else you care about to accept YOU for who you truly are.

There are lots of people-types here; men with legitimate gynecomastia looking for support solutions, men with stubborn chest fat also looking for the same solutions, men with gender identity concerns and would prefer to have breasts, and men that just plain simply want to wear a bra. I'm not sure why the reason matters, if a man feels a need to wear a bra (and can actually find one that fits him), in the end it's just a piece of underwear.

You do you.  If "you doing you" is a problem for others, that's quite honestly their problem to work out.  Of course, depending on how close said "others" are to you it might get awkward until they actually work it out, but if you support them in their quest to understand, they will very likely support you in your quest to understand.

[Johndoe1]

I agree there are many shades of male as there are many shades of female and everyone is a shade. I am not certain every shade needs a name. I would get too confused which name to use and when!

Personally I have never leaned macho. I don't have the emotional ego for it, nor have I ever had the body for it. I am definitely a shade of male with female traits. It's not something I planned nor sought out to do. I didn't ask for it. It Just happened. One day, literally, people started talking about my chest. I had no inclination prior. It was around 14 years old and continued from there.

The estrogen in my body effected me in ways I will never know or understand beyond the obvious. I suspect my life would have been vastly different if it had not been such a persuasive and stealthy influence on my life from such an early age.  My shade would have been more "male" than what it is. I personally consider myself male. Always have. I did go through a period where I questioned my gender, but eventually concluded I was just a male, trapped in a male body with some modified body parts. I jokingly call it my "Mutant Revelation." We all deal with it in different was. And that is totally acceptable.

[42CSurprise!]

I appreciate this conversation simply because it is both civil and respectful.  I think we're all saying the same thing, leaning into those topics that have special relevance for us as we come to terms with the reality of having breasts that are enhanced by being held in the cups of our favorite brassiere.  Yes, how we relate to that reality will be different simply because humans are all different... the snowflake analogy.  Estrogen creates breasts and feminizes us.  That isn't rocket science.  But it doesn't make us women.  We are free to define for ourselves who we are and express ourselves as we wish.  I too think of myself as a man and I have no doubt all those who know me well would say the same... though they would likely characterize me as a gentle man, a sensitive man.  I like that.  I have no affection for hard men.  They've always scared me a bit when I've encountered them. 

The brassiere that should arrive in the mail this week has lace on the top of the cups...  I'm looking forward to trying it on and seeing what it looks like with my breasts... they seem to be growing.  What a journey! 

[Busty]

For those of us who started young, we developed breasts like the girls our age and we were teased that we should wear bras like the girls.  Then we give in to the teasing, try on a bra, and find the teasing was right, we feel and look best in a bra.  But we can't start openly wearing bras because we would get teased even more for wearing a bra, and wearing it so well.

At least in our older years, the condemnation is not as virulent, but we are still looked down on as less manly. 

One thing the years taught me is to accept who I am, even embrace it, and make the most of it.  For me, that means wearing a bra for both comfort and appearance.

[blad]

For those of us who started young, we developed breasts like the girls our age and we were teased that we should wear bras like the girls.  Then we give in to the teasing, try on a bra, and find the teasing was right, we feel and look best in a bra.  But we can't start openly wearing bras because we would get teased even more for wearing a bra, and wearing it so well.

It was an unfortunate irony that once I realized that the constant comments made to me that I needed to wear a bra were actually true, and I found I preferred wearing a bra, that I still had to publicly deflect these comments daily. 

You can agree that you need a bra, you can accept that you need a bra, but it is still difficult to publicly fit in and openly wear your bra, particularly in those teen years. A complex and difficult time at that age when you can't really be yourself and be comfortable with yourself. 

[aboywithgirls]

For those of us who started young, we developed breasts like the girls our age and we were teased that we should wear bras like the girls.  Then we give in to the teasing, try on a bra, and find the teasing was right, we feel and look best in a bra.  But we can't start openly wearing bras because we would get teased even more for wearing a bra, and wearing it so well.

It was an unfortunate irony that once I realized that the constant comments made to me that I needed to wear a bra were actually true, and I found I preferred wearing a bra, that I still had to publicly deflect these comments daily.

You can agree that you need a bra, you can accept that you need a bra, but it is still difficult to publicly fit in and openly wear your bra, particularly in those teen years. A complex and difficult time at that age when you can't really be yourself and be comfortable with yourself.

No doubt. It was a difficult transition. I was a junior in high school wearing a bra. I wasn't as well endowed as I am now. I was a 34C. I layered up and kept it concealed fairly well for a while. I was teased for a little while and excused from PE class. Others, both boys and girls eventually noticed but, I was more comfortable and confident with it. My senior year,  was a D/DD but everyone was used to the fact that I needed a bra and life just went on. 

Kinda ironic looking back. It was kinda taboo then and now it's expected that I wear a bra. I'm still the same person, I just dress a little fancier now. 😆

Sophie❤