Bras: Utilitarian vs Fashion

[MarcoB]

So I would suggest for people to just read the parts of the site that they are interested in. So if someone doesn’t want to read about bras or someone might be a Crossdresser or someone who has transitioned or even talk about their surgery. Don’t click on that conversation!...stay out!...change the channel...hahaha

In the couple of years I've been here, there have been a few mothers of puberty-age boys with gyne, who've come looking for help dealing with it, as well as some underage boys coming on their own, looking for help, both sets being in turmoil and urgently trying to find answers about how to deal with this problem they didn't sign up for.  I suspect there might have been quite a few more if they hadn't come and found a lot of discussion on cross-dressing, trans, and other things they might find very disturbing.  I hope we can be considerate of them.  Just saying "Change the channel" may not be helpful.  We who stumbled into the gyne problem at more advanced ages may tend to forget how life is different now from what it was in our early teens with the associated extreme social pressures and all.

[42CSurprise!]

...We who stumbled into the gyne problem at more advanced ages may tend to forget how life is different now from what it was in our early teens with the associated extreme social pressures and all.

My teen years were decades ago and they were at times traumatizing, in part because my body was not like other boys.  What I find heartening at this point in history is that gender fluidity is much more accepted than it was when I was a boy.  No doubt being different in any way can be challenging for adolescents and teens but with social media and changing attitudes it might be easier to live with those differences and find kindred spirits.  I'm not sure the differences in response to our personal hormone cocktails found in these threads would be so troubling to parents... unless, of course, they need their sons to fit into the binary world.  Acceptance is important for the boy, his parents and for the person he will become through it all... gay, straight, non-binary, trans... whatever.  Talking about breasts and brassieres hardly touches the full implications of living with these differences.

[Evolver]

...We who stumbled into the gyne problem at more advanced ages may tend to forget how life is different now from what it was in our early teens with the associated extreme social pressures and all.

What I find heartening at this point in history is that gender fluidity is much more accepted than it was when I was a boy.

Yes! Mostly!

[Johndoe1]

A couple of years ago, I was in contact with a lady who's son had developed prominent gynecomastia and she was looking for advice and information about how to talk to him and what to do about it since he was being bullied at school. I explained to her my experiences as a teen with prominent breasts. She asked very pointed questions about my feelings at the time and what I wished had happened in response. After a week or so of back and forth, she eventually concluded that a bra was the answer for her son.

So yes, there are people lurking who are looking for answers who want the full story of what this condition entails and what the options are, the same as we did/do. And many are open to the bra option. We saw that with Conner a months ago.

[blad]

If I had access to a site like this in my early teen years developing breasts, it would have clearly re enforced that I was not alone and that it was not strange to find that I felt better managed wearing a bra. 

[42CSurprise!]

I agree, this site is very important to everyone struggling with this issue and yes, it would have been very helpful as an adolescent or teen... though I expect teens today would not be drawn to a group of men of middle years and later for advice on this subject.  Especially in this world of gender fluidity, I imagine these boys would be more likely to turn to social media and their peer group.  Given how prevalent this issue is today, the languid pace of this website suggests we don't have a great number of teens or parents seeking information or support.  What happens here is certainly important for those of us who spend time here.  I'm grateful for that but I don't think our primary concern should be how parents or adolescents will respond to a conversation when they're not likely to read what is shared here.  We need to be doing exactly what we are doing... talking about what living with our unique hormone cocktail is all about and finding acceptance for that.  There is no right way to do this... one size does not fit all.

[brock123]

I think this ultimately is a loaded question, since the answer will depend on where "you are" as a man with breasts that you feel need to be dealt with.

There are men with true Gynecomastia that have legitimate female-type breasts to contend with.  Being female-type breasts, they are, or will inevitably become, both "pendulous" and heavy in nature, and any reasonable person would choose a garment option that would help to alleviate/support that particular weight.  Maybe it's felt as temporary pending corrective surgery, or maybe it's felt as permanent since you'd good with it -- either way, if you have legitimate breasts, you should do whatever you can to be as comfortable as you can every day.  My wife is 34DDD and I see how that negatively affects her daily comfort from time to time, and I wish she would consider a proper weight loss program or reduction surgery to get herself back into the 32C/34C size she clearly desires.

There are also men with plain old "fat" chests (personal company included).  Some of us have normal male "breast tissue" (aka: none), but we are also flopping about very uncomfortably on bumpy roads since male chest fat is apparently 10x as dense/heavy as male belly fat  (WTF, nature?) Losing weight can help, but men with persistent "fat' chests aren't likely to reap any short-term benefits from weight loss and the "moobs" are likely to persist for quite a while.

Regardless of the reason, I fail to see why any man that opts into wearing a piece of clothing that makes him feel more comfortable should be a problem. Doubly so if it can be considered as "underwear", which is where I think bras fall.  If you are a human being, and you have boobs/moobs that need support, you should absolutely wear a bra of some kind.  You'll be happier if you do.

[gotgyne]

I prefer utilitarian bra styles, always as soft cup bra, never with underwire. My bras must give firm support, have wide straps and at least 3x3 hooks in the back. My favored colors are white and nude.

[Orb]

  A lot has been shared here.  That's great. 
  For me I to started out very need based.  Utilitarian.  I can't say, or identify what has change, but find I do take pleasure in a nice fashionable bra.  I feel put together and quite enjoy the fact that I can wear something that makes me feel good.  Granted no one will see it however I feel good about that choice.  I guess it's the wardrobe completeness for lack of other words. 
  Point is there is no right or wrong.  We're all different and must accept that.  Without judgment.

[42CSurprise!]

I bought a brassiere yesterday from the purveyor who has served me well, this one with delicate lace at the top of the cups where they plunge down to the gore.  It is another minimizer so the cups are unpadded and unlined.  I expect the cups will feel good and I'm definitely curious about what the lace will look like atop my breasts.  Clearly, this is not a utilitarian choice I've made, but then it is hard to think of my breasts as anything but breasts.  They deserve appreciation and care, which I'm learning to give them.  That is self-acceptance for me.

[Orb]

I think that's great.  I feel if it makes me, you, feel better...nothing better!

[SideSet]

I have heard women wear sexy lingerie to enhance the sex or please their man or just to feel sexy themselves even when not in a sexual situation. 

[Orb]

I can't say I wear a nice thin lace type for the sexy factor however I have grabbed one for the day just because of my mood of the day.  Some days you just want to feel good and put together.  Knowing no one will see it except me. Wearing an uncomfortable bra just for containment doesn't make me feel better.  It made me feel like I hadn't totally accepted me.  I feel that a nicer style has also given me the sense of acceptance I needed.  

[Johndoe1]

I too have gravitated to mood dictates the bra I wear. Some days utilitarian works best and some days you want to feel a little fancy and a plain bra just doesn't cut it. My attitude is if I am going to take advantage of being supported and contained I might as well have some fun and enjoyment out of doing it so it doesn't become drudgery of repetition and "just dealing with the girls."

[aboywithgirls]

There was a commercial on TV several years back for a smart phone. A catch phrase from it was "There's an app for that!" 

Well, for every situation :"There's a bra for that!" Going to work, Going on a date, going for a work out or for some of us, just going to bed. There is a bra for that.