Convincing wife

[Dudewithboobs]

Agreed. And that means a lot which is why I stay here. It’s a great forum for support and gaining confidence when my boobs grow a little more and little more and little more it gets to be quite difficult to look in the mirror sometimes and not se the projection becoming more definitive and not feel anxiety. But this forum on most days gives me the confidence when I see men like me dealing with the same and it’s good to not feel alone.

[42CSurprise!]

It seems you're caught between the proverbial rock and hard place given the conditions you describe with your wife's family and conservative friends.  Conservatives seem quite smitten with Fox News and their lead pundit, Tucker Carlson, who is now focusing on the "Crisis of Masculinity."

https://www.thebulwark.com/tucker-carlson-and-the-crisis-of-masculinity/

The fixation among conservatives on gender related subjects, like transgender use of bathroom and gay marriage, does not provide a great deal of room or sympathy for a man trying to come to terms with gynecomastia... which we understand represents diminished testosterone and elevated estrogen... exactly the conditions that often lead people to question their gender,  Clearly, from a conservative point of view there is something wrong with us and it must be our fault.  A manly man wouldn't stand for it... right?  Just ask Tucker who is suggesting we "toast" our testicles.  Let's get with it guys!

Honestly, I don't think the solutions offered by men here are workable in your situation.  You may simply have to live with the discomfort... if that is what you're experiencing physically.  Let's understand... conservatives are not immune from having or developing fleshy chests, so I don't expect every man in your world is a slim athlete.  You'd just be one more man whose boobs are apparent in their tee shirt as they go about their day.  That is hardly a crisis.  I dress in ways that hide my chest.  I don't wear a brassiere when I go out in social situations.  I love the feeling of my breasts held in brassiere cups and I enjoy the conversations that happen here, but my brassieres can stay in a dresser drawer while I go about my life.  Good luck sorting this out both in your mind and in the rest of your life.

[Dudewithboobs]

Thanks and yeah the tucker Carlson video was nuts literally lol I mean let’s talk about losing masculinity while showing red light therapy which is shown and proven to reduce testosterone cause that’s why our stuff is external it’s not intended to be zapped by tanning beds lol. Idk that guy is another level of idiocy. Not all conservatives are that though my wife is far from it as is her friends but certainly are in the frame of gender roles and fashions etc and I actually agree with it mostly and am quite liberal. 
But politics aside I agree at work and shopping etc I don’t mind wearing a bra where I know chances of me seeing someone I know or someone who knows me in passing is gonna happen. I love feeling my chest sitting nicely in a bra and have come to adore the little jiggle in the bounce when I walk kind of personal entertainment lol but I also love being braless and passing a window and seeing how my shirts are standing out and poking out quite a lot from the side or resting my arms by my side and feeling my side boob that’s developed a bit hitting my arm and seeing what seems like every few weeks lately putting my arms out in front of me and noticing I’ve filled more up top as my arms hit more than they did before then and feeling more jiggle idk. 
For me I’m not uncomfortable just understanding as I’ve grown more of why a bra is more preferable in comfort and containment but part of me loves how my chest is becoming more breast like and the motions and profile of such is showing it. Kind of a glad to be different thing. 

[42CSurprise!]

That is the place between rock and hard place, and I know it well.  I feel very comfortable in the underwire, unlined brassiere I wear most often which is a 42C... as my username suggests.  Wearing a brassiere enhances my breasts and I find it quite exciting.  But the world of friends and family which is important to me isn't prepared to dance with me when it comes to this aspect of my psyche and my body.  That is why this place is a bit of an oasis.  I know many of the men here have moved beyond acceptance.  That is the reason I started a thread in this forum on the topic.

https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=36551.0

Much of the conversation here focuses on the NEED to wear a brassiere, either because of nipple sensitivity or back pain.  Those conversations are easy to have.  The ones that are more challenging have to do with less practical and more aesthetic things... appreciation of the brassiere itself and the possibility of self-expression inherent in both bra choice and presentation.  "You look great in that brassiere" is not about need, though such comments will often turn to the topic of comfort.  Of course we want to be comfortable in everything we wear... but enjoying a bit of bounce and appreciating the appearance of our breasts in a mirror or window is a bit trickier to embrace.  It seems much of your challenge has to do with your enjoyment since that might be difficult for your wife to accept.  Focusing on "need" may get you through this minefield.

I don't think of my self as a crossdresser, but I'm aware from having visited a couple of websites devoted to that topic that a great many men are in relationship with women who are aware of what their husbands are doing but don't want to ever hear about it.  They call it "Don't Ask, Don't Tell..." which is actually what you seem to be doing at the moment.  There are a few people in my life whom I've told about my brassiere wearing but certainly not everyone in my life.  And even those whom I've told don't get play-by-play accounts of my most recent purchases nor do I give them fashion shows.  It is simply something I do for myself... but since I live alone, that is all much easier than it would be for a married man with a child at home.

Again... this is a great place to have these conversations because men here understand this territory from first hand experience... and are working to accept ourselves as we are... with breasts and occasionally with brassieres...

[Orb]

That is so true.  Even ones, "need base", to wear is defined by that one individual.  No one else.  I wear a lot. I feel better however I don't on many occasions.  Depends on the event, those I'll encounter etc.  Several know of my history that may have led to my growth however many don't.  Some more judgemental because of their beliefs, as I tend to be more open minded on those Sunday topics.  Yet, I chose not to be in their face if even with dialog I know I won't win them over.  I chose to save them, that embarrassing moment.