Disappointing reaction from Mrs.

[Evolver]

As some of you might know I have been experimenting with 'real' bras for my existing slight case of gynecomastia, in anticipation of future growth due to what lies ahead of me regarding hormone treatment for recurrent prostate cancer, but I also get a kick out of it now.

Thanks to my most recent purchase of a bra that actually fits OK, today was the first day in my life that I actually wore a bra all day, 8am to 10pm. The Mrs knew and had no qualms. It was a typically quiet weekend day at home and we didn't go anywhere, except to feed the neighbors cat next door because they are away.

My Mrs is into handicrafts such as quilting and crocheting and this morning she suggested that she needs more wool, but we didn't make the necessary drive to a neighboring town to get it today. This evening I suggested that if we went, I would have still gone 'dressed' and was met with a look of total surprise/amazement/shock!

She knows that I have recently signed up here, she knows that I am prepared for 'growth', she knows that I am trying to get used to wearing a bra before I really need to. In other words she knows that I am trying to justify and normalize wearing a bra. So I thought she would be more accepting of me willing to take a risk in public, even though the bra was invisible under the loose fitting black T Shirt that I wore today, but apparently not!

Eek!

[Dale Warnio]

 I think it’s mostly positive and it’s good that she let you know. Tells me you should just be low-key with her, but continue to wear your bra at home. As your breasts get bigger and bigger, she will probably reach the point where she won’t want you going out braless.   Won’t want you being so provocative with all that breast movement and nipping out. 

Give it time. I think she’ll be just fine 

[SideSet]

 If I remember right, you earlier said you were possibly undergoing some medical treatment for which gynecomastia could be a side effect, am I right? 

 Your wife sounds quite supportive in general, but, like you, she’s going through a lot with your medical issues and the changes in your body.  I suggest you try not to put her under any additional pressure. 

 Has she made any comments about your breasts? About how you look in a bra? 

[blad]

I am sure it takes time for most wives to accept their husbands need for a bra. But it does sound like she is more than half way there. The more your breasts develop the more obvious the need will be. 

As I had breasts since I was 13, my wife was already well aware before we married. She told me early on that I needed a bra so that opened up the conversation easily. I already new I needed a bra and felt better wearing one so it was definitely a positive comment for me. 

So I think if you already have breasts before a relationship it is an easier topic up front, then if you slowly develop them after.

[gmast]

There is a lot of support on this forum for wearing bras and other cross dressing, but that is not the case for the general public.  Your wife may be accepting that you will eventually need on, and even put up with your kick of wearing them at home even though you don't need one.  However, It is not surprising to me that she is not wanting you to wear a bra in public when you don't need to wear one.  Wearing a bra isn't like learning to ride a bicycle.  I don't understand what their is to learn about wearing a bra, and why you think it is better to do this learning now, when you don't need one, as opposed to later, when you do need one.

[Evolver]

Gentlemen,

I am so grateful for your replies. Thank you all for the reality check. I didn't realize how far ahead of myself I was. I need to relax more and just let things happen.

SideSet, I have recurrent prostate cancer and expect to be put on hormone therapy in a couple of months time but it has been too early to discuss options with my oncologist yet. There is a very high chance of gynecomastia with one option, and a much lower (but still significant) chance with another. I favor the first option, not because I think it will be fun, but because the other side effects are far less with that one than the second option. Most men would see it differently and would do anything to avoid breast growth, even if the other side effects were more debilitating. Since I am already comfortable with the concept of wearing a bra, I'm happy enough to let gyne happen.

Mrs playfully gropes me in the mornings on weekends to see if I'm wearing or not, and if I am, she makes the right noises.

gmast, my recent desire to experiment with bra sizes and wear them more often, although not totally necessary yet, is preparing my mind for the scenario of wearing them in public more than anything else.

[p.r.1974]

Being mentally prepared can be assisted by wearing a bra, but I too would advise restraint, not knowing the social dynamics of your relationships with family, friends, and strangers. I understand the always be prepared line of thought, and am glad that you and your wife are working on the acceptance side. But I also understand putting the cart before the horse with all of the options and differences is sizing, it is difficult to prepare for non existent tissue.

[42CSurprise!]

Yes... WANTING to wear a brassiere is fraught with problems for men... so it may be sensible to take a step back and see how things unfold.  I don't have medical issues that require treatment that leads to gynecomastia, but I've been blessed with a hormone stew that has led to breasts growing on my chest.  They were minimal when i was a boy, but now they are very noticeable.  I put on a brassiere because I WANT to, not because I need to wear one.  I don't have back problems and my nipples aren't tender.  But I wear a brassiere at home and most often not wear one when I go out.  I respect the fact we each have our own relationship to brassieres and breasts.  Acceptance is key for all of us.  Shaming ourselves is never helpful.  Once we come to acceptance, the form of that relationship is really completely up to us.  Granted, for everyone who is in an intimate relationship, everything is up for discussion.  Going to places our partners don't want to go is a recipe for relationship problems.  As I read what you write it appears your wife has some interest in playing at this edge.  I expect you'll work it all out as life unfolds and medical treatment works its magic with your body and your mind.  Thanks for sharing part of your journey with all of us.

[Evolver]

p.r., 42C, I wish there was a Like button.

[Evolver]

As I just alluded to in another thread, I am now at the stage where my wife accepts me wearing a bra in public. Maybe it's just seasonal as we've just entered winter here and an extra layer is de rigueur, but it has certainly given me confidence going forward.

[Traveler]

As I just alluded to in another thread, I am now at the stage where my wife accepts me wearing a bra in public. Maybe it's just seasonal as we've just entered winter here and an extra layer is de rigueur, but it has certainly given me confidence going forward.

My wife had real doubts at first too, but as things have progressed and she’s had time to wrap her head around it, she’s gotten so much more accepting. As a matter of fact she’s been real helpful lately, to the point of buying nice tanks and bras for around the house! I still am careful when going out, but this in the house stuff is really nice.

[oldguy]

I never considered a boob cup or anything, until 10 years ago.  I had a lot of pain in my breasts and ended up with a mammogram.  That wasn't comfortable, especially filling out the pink sheets about, well you know.  And everyone looking while I filled it out.  The technician was professional.  And I was diagnosed.  I have known the Dr for many years, and still do.  In the followup visit, his PA came in to visit with me.  She said I needed support garments and wrote a message to my wife.  My wife bought me two $70 life jackets.  They were returned.  I bought a Hanes 3 pack sports bra.  That worked well for a few years.  Then, not so much.  So moved to a bra that gave me more room as I have grown to a C.  This has been a 10 year adjustment for both of us.  We will celebrate our 50th this year.  Accept the things that come your way, and deal with them.

[SideSet]

C cup is definitely too big to go braless