The estrogen path

[Brdy64]

As all of us most likely have discovered at varying degrees depending on our hormone levels, our personalities start changing as they estrogen does its magic. 

In my case, this last year has brought many changes. 
I cry very easily, sometimes over nothing. Once over a marriage proposal on a 'movie'. That was really weird for me. 

My taste in clothes has changed drastically, where I used to buy my clothes with 'masculinity' in mind I find myself dressing more neutral with many pastel colors. My shirts could be seen on any sex easily. 
I have even started buying a few clothes off the 'womens' shelf if I don't feel like making my own. 

Since my hair started growing again, I opted for a 'Mullet' haircut. I have now decided that I will grow it out to a 'Shag'. A Shag haircut is pretty much unisex. 

I am finding most of my close friends are now women instead of men. In fact one of them mentioned that I am easier to talk to thank most guys. 

This journey has thrown quite a few 'curve balls' at me. 

How has it affected you?

[taxmapper]

Same. 

[Brdy64]

Birdie, I would say the same except l have always been that way.  I cry at "girly movies", I love the soft colors and patterns of women's clothes,  and my favorite color has always been pink! My mother sat me down whhen i was very young age and told me when someone asks what color is my favorite that I have to say blue because blue is for boys. My mother was one of those moms that often said "what will the neighbors think"! I have spent my whole life playing the part of being "the male" even though my family knew I was anything but 100 male!

I have never really bonded with any men, but everywhere I have ever worked I had female friends and still have a few from over 40 years ago. I my have the mostly male body, but i think and feel everything as a women and at 68 the only thing I see changing is more color in my clothes! Funny thing is my grandfather only wore grey pants and shirts. He wore the same thing everyday. My father once told me befoe he died that he was proud that I was letting my true self out and the world be damned! I think he was sorry for all the years of trying to program me into being the man he wanted me to be.

Anyway... we grow older and things do change and it can be for they better if we embrace who we are.

Charli

Yeah, I never was a 'Manly' type myself even though it was expected of me. My favorite color was always Purple, but would claim it too be Blue. 
I did do a fairly good job at 'fitting in', but even still got teased for my 'Nice butt' all these years (even as an adult).

It all worked until recently but now that the hormonal stew is brewing even stronger, I can't hold back as I guess the 'real me' is surfacing even stronger. 
We are all subjected to the same hormone imbalance that made our bodies this way, and some more than others. Even differing circumstances and timelines. 
But we are here together 😉

[42CSurprise!]

Just for the record Birdie... you don't have a hormone "imbalance", you simply have your own unique stew of hormones.  The notion of imbalance is rooted in the belief that real men don't exhibit feminine tendencies... let alone feminine attributes.  You live in the bible belt where differences aren't always tolerated and one that is certainly suspect is difference in gender expression.  In speaking about acceptance we are proclaiming that who we are, what we feel and how our body develops is just as they all need to be.  We've tried long enough to prove our favorite color is "blue" simply because the gender we were assigned by our families at birth.  Now we can love purple, pink or whatever. 

I happen to be a fan of purple as well.  That was perhaps part of my motivation for buying that lavender brassiere recently.  The purple turtleneck with raggedy sleeves remains in my dresser simply because I've not been able to find a replacement in the men's department.  The one I bought designed for women didn't accommodate my shoulders, so here I am.  The baby blue turtleneck does lovely things with my breasts but it doesn't leave my home simply because it doesn't hide my breasts...   I'm not prepared to announce my bosom to the whole world.  That would be another step along the path and I'm not there at the moment.

[Brdy64]

Just for the record Birdie... you don't have a hormone "imbalance", you simply have your own unique stew of hormones.  The notion of imbalance is rooted in the belief that real men don't exhibit feminine tendencies... let alone feminine attributes.  You live in the bible belt where differences aren't always tolerated and one that is certainly suspect is difference in gender expression.  In speaking about acceptance we are proclaiming that who we are, what we feel and how our body develops is just as they all need to be.  We've tried long enough to prove our favorite color is "blue" simply because the gender we were assigned by our families at birth.  Now we can love purple, pink or whatever. 

I happen to be a fan of purple as well.  That was perhaps part of my motivation for buying that lavender brassiere recently.  The purple turtleneck with raggedy sleeves remains in my dresser simply because I've not been able to find a replacement in the men's department.  The one I bought designed for women didn't accommodate my shoulders, so here I am.  The baby blue turtleneck does lovely things with my breasts but it doesn't leave my home simply because it doesn't hide my breasts...   I'm not prepared to announce my bosom to the whole world.  That would be another step along the path and I'm not there at the moment.

"Hormonal stew", I stand corrected 😁

I can honestly say that I don't think I was ready to show my breasts off to the world, but the girls decided to peek out on their own. Hiding my chest just wasn't working anymore. Had they not grown, I would still be hiding them. 
I just noticed today that my bras are getting tight even though I'm still losing weight, so I guess they aren't even done growing yet. 

[42CSurprise!]

Your circumstances are a bit different as well, simply by the fact you need assistance with daily care.  You have people close in and personal to your body.  Getting help with bathing doesn't leave you with much room for modesty.  Your lovely, feminine curves are on display.  That would have an impact on how one relates to breasts.  I've always dressed to hide my breasts and people may conclude that I'm a round man, but likely won't notice my breasts beneath a dark tee shirt and unbuttoned shirt I wear over the tee.  As I've noted elsewhere, vitiligo makes wearing a long sleeve shirt essential.  No wandering around in a tee shirt and shorts.  No swimming or sunbathing.  Beaches are to be avoided.  I find it easy to hide... though less so now because my breasts are more pronounced.  Nice we can chat about such things... 

[Brdy64]

Your circumstances are a bit different as well, simply by the fact you need assistance with daily care.  You have people close in and personal to your body.  Getting help with bathing doesn't leave you with much room for modesty.  Your lovely, feminine curves are on display.  That would have an impact on how one relates to breasts.  I've always dressed to hide my breasts and people may conclude that I'm a round man, but likely won't notice my breasts beneath a dark tee shirt and unbuttoned shirt I wear over the tee.  As I've noted elsewhere, vitiligo makes wearing a long sleeve shirt essential.  No wandering around in a tee shirt and shorts.  No swimming or sunbathing.  Beaches are to be avoided.  I find it easy to hide... though less so now because my breasts are more pronounced.  Nice we can chat about such things...

Yeah, with staff my breasts have been noticable since the beginning of my medical services.
The girls were always good about helping me hide my 'assets' when getting me ready everyday. 
The day center runs just under 150 participants daily, so I have not uncovered to the participants until recently. In all fairness it wasn't bad. One groping, and several rude remarks at the center. 
Now that everyone is used to seeing me in just a 'shirt over my bra', no one thinks twice about it.
Going out to the Mall, or Supper sometimes does lead to some strange looks. But it's all good. 
It's really nice that we can talk about such things. 
 

[Orb]

Just for the record Birdie... you don't have a hormone "imbalance", you simply have your own unique stew of hormones. 

I happen to be a fan of purple as well.

1st)  Charlie,  Thanks for sharing and I'm glad your where you are and who you are.

2nd)  42C  exactly!  Well put.
I personally love orange and purple.  All my live I liked all pastel colors and was often told men cant wear that color.  That was so wrong of them.

3rd)  Birdie,  Glade your here, found acceptance and have gained some courage to just be you.

[Johndoe1]

 I cry at "girly movies", I love the soft colors and patterns of women's clothes,

I do that too. I have always been able to cry at the drop of a hat. As I have gotten larger, it has become easier to cry and more difficult to suppress it. I have also loved colors in clothing.

[Brdy64]

I cry at "girly movies", I love the soft colors and patterns of women's clothes,

I do that too. I have always been able to cry at the drop of a hat. As I have gotten larger, it has become easier to cry and more difficult to suppress it. I have also loved colors in clothing.

There is nothing wrong with it 😉

[Orb]

I will get emotional and tear up during movies also.  Would and still do in conversation where empathy or passion of the topic will.
I have to watch it as I feel its just out of place at times.  That being said I wouldn't change it.  I have always found it easier to talk with woman and friends wives than all the rough and tough male stuff. I have more empathy and I like that.  I like being me and wouldn't want to be any different.

[taxmapper]

I've posted multiple diff. times my personal experiences with the "Pink Side" of things also. 
I have a bad tendency to put things in pragmatic terms and look at the world for.. its there. deal with it. mentality. 

For nearly my entire life I have felt that I wasn't in the right place, time or body.

Never could explain it other than I "feel it". 
As of late as physical changes take over and outlook changes, i have come to realize that other aspects of my life in the past were in fact overly feminine. 
The number of times I have had people act in a way that I was gay or effeminate is a 20-20 vision thing, but makes me realize that they saw something I didn't. 

I've done the A-male thing and failed miserably over the years. But unlike the current political and cultural onslaught of men putting on pink things and parading around to get attention, I am far more subdued and try to be conservative about dress, mannerisms etc. 
A frank discussion with some folks have come to get me to realize that I am not part of the fray, but an outlier on a huge level and I need to embrace this regardless of how I look, act, or dress. 

[aboywithgirls]

I will get emotional and tear up during movies also.  Would and still do in conversation where empathy or passion of the topic will.
I have to watch it as I feel its just out of place at times.  That being said I wouldn't change it.  I have always found it easier to talk with woman and friends wives than all the rough and tough male stuff. I have more empathy and I like that.  I like being me and wouldn't want to be any different.

Orb,
You might as well been talking about me 5 years ago. All of my friends were either my wife's girlfriends or girlfriends of mine from work. I'm the one who has the Hallmark Chanel on TV  every night. Don't get me wrong, you don't need a vagina to cry. My wife has one too and she laughs at me and throws out my Kleenex when I'm into the movie. 

[Upfront]

It took me 50 years of my life to discover the very precious gift of being unashamedly to cry.
It shows genuine empathy and sympathy with those suffering calamity.
Or it can be a great safety valve for our own pent up emotional kettle .
I understand the logic of detached counselling but I also believe in showing you understand in the spontaneous primal instincts given to us

[Johndoe1]

For nearly my entire life I have felt that I wasn't in the right place, time or body.

I have never felt I was in the wrong body, but I have always gravitated to the feminine side. I have felt more comfortable around women. More so of late.