Author Topic: Have we got a bit off track?? Do we risk alienating prospective members?  (Read 3734 times)

TWO FRIENDS!

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Well said Marco
The history of clothes is interesting. Skirts and dresses were unisex. Both men and women, at vastly different periods of history made the transition to trousers for somewhat similar reasons. Riding horses or bicycles.
Just plain practical nothing sexual at all. 
I wear denim mini skirts as a cooler option to shorts in summer and very plain loose dresses around the house of an evening the latter are far more comfortable than PJs and are infinitely more practical than the short man's dressing gowns with tie belt that keep gaping(not to mention warmer even with thinner material .
Nothing sexual, just practical.
Should unexpected visitors arrive who are not in the know, I just ask them to excuse the ”business suit". It has never caused any problems with relationships I gave
As I have shared on this site as DW20. I am very comfortable in my own skin, boobs and all ......my Two friends
« Last Edit: October 02, 2020, 05:14:31 AM by TWO FRIENDS! »

Offline prc7966

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For me personally, in find the pullover s/m/l/xl style sports bras very uncomfortable. There's no happy medium for me. Either I get decent support and they hurt my neck, I get no support but they're comfortable which defeats the purpose, or they smash my chest to an uncomfortable level. I wear band and cup style bras, mostly sports bras, but I find them to be much better. I have a few band and cup traditional styles that fit very well too and I wear them when I'm not working. They definitely make the most of what I've got (which is not in the least my goal) but I tend to side with comfort and support first over appearance. Far as I can tell it's somebody else's problem if it bothers them. I'd rather not have breast pain. If that means wearing a "feminine" bra then so be it.

Offline blad

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So many types of people, it will obviously be impossible to please everyone. The relatively low numbers on this site looking for support garments also makes it impossible to dice up the topic sections too much. I think people will have to accept not only their breasts but also that the flavor of this site will not always be theirs in each and every post. It is simply unrealistic unless you want to start your own forum of one.

I have had breasts since I was 13 to live with. I did not have internet or any other help to navigate my way. I tried a bra in response to curiosity from all the comments I had at school that I needed one. While the initial discovery of how well my breasts fit a bra gave some excitement to a young teen ager, it settled down with a growing realization that a well fitting bra gave comfort and no bra was irritating much of the time.

I have always gravitated to a more plain T shirt type bra that seemed to fit well without calling too much attention. I have always felt sports bras were overly massive contraptions that did not fit the purpose of daily wearing, (in fact they were made for a specific use and not to wear all day every day). While pullover bras were cheap and not usually comfortable.

Some here begin to explore more extravagant bras than I will ever likely get. Does not bother me. By definition in todays society a bra is a feminine item anyway, no matter the style. I am happy with plain but functional bras for my needs, but others want to enjoy the concept further, sort of if your in go all in. Some like plain pick up trucks and some like to bling them to the max. There are those who simply and quietly put up with having breasts and discovered comfort with a bra, and those who begin to enjoy having breasts and treat them more like a women would perhaps. And those that enjoy having breasts may be more inclined to enjoy feminine clothing beyond a bra.

Basically, a man having breasts is a spectrum from; hate/surgery, to tolerance/exploring comfort options such as a bra, to exploring enjoyment options of having breasts and its uniqueness with more involved garment options. Many may move along the spectrum over time and change their attitudes.

So with our relative small numbers you have to accept that you can not always have it your way and to tolerate others as you want people to tolerate you. You may even change your position over time too. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

aboywithgirls

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I have worn a "regular bra" for over 30 years. I started wearing a bra full time when I was 16.

In 30 years, I have had an opportunity to try everything and anything for a bra, sports bra, compression shirts, leisure bras ect..

I have always found that a regular bra works best for me. I wear underwire bras exclusively whenever I leave the house. They provide superior support, shaping and comfort. Boob sweat is real. Compression tops make boob sweat a nightmare. Sports bras can feel confining after wearing it for 16+ hours. 

We have the benefit of learning from women who already know the best way to deal with breasts. 

TWO FRIENDS!

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William (and others)

Separating Acceptance from Clothing as per forum sections seems like a great idea until you stop to think.

Clothing, regardless of which side of the womens v mens clothing debate you are, is deeply mixed up with coping and feelings  that are inextricable linked with coming to self acceptance and comfort.

Bras are a way of coping with breasts, which is why most men find their way to this site. My original post starting this topic (as DW20) was  just asking for folk to remember this and not put them off.

However, like it or not Gyne is also linked with other bodily shape changes as many here attest. Anyone familiar with CT  scanning as I am, will know there is an obvious and dramatic difference in the fat distribution between the sexes - it is not subtle. Fat in women is much more superficial.

Gyne is more prevalent in older "Well covered" men which may well mask these changes, but slimmer men such as myself WILL notice this and clothing changes are NEEDED well beyond just a bra, if looking for comfort. Those noticing changes that make their shape more feminine will very sensibly try clothing that work for women. It is not our fault that items that work are not found in the mens' aisle nor in 'manly' plain or patterned fabric

Lets not have any stone throwing 

aboywithgirls

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William, you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Anything that you have written here is complete nonsense. You are worsenthan the media for taking things out of context. 

Not even certain why you are here, other than creating a problem that didn't previously exist. 

TWO FRIENDS!

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A boy with girls - a bit strong perhaps but I agree

TWO FRIENDS!

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William, you are in a hole - stop digging

(First rule of holes)
« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 02:05:19 PM by TWO FRIENDS! »

Offline blad

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Seems no one here wants to communicate and are trying to just wait it out so that thing can go back  to usual......
No, but sometimes things just keep going in circles with no solution in site and everyone else just gets tired of endless debate that is unlikely to have any clear conclusion. This has become one of those threads. 

TWO FRIENDS!

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As the originator of this topic under different ID it is well past time to give it a decent burial. I actually regret even asking the question.

I for one will not rise to bait again. 


RIP

Offline JohannK

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As the originator of this topic under different ID it is well past time to give it a decent burial. I actually regret even asking the question.

I for one will not rise to bait again.


RIP
While I get what you're saying, I feel I just have a few last things to add.  But you're right, this thread is getting a bit out of hand.  So I'll probably not post here again, unless there's a good reason of course.

I get what William is saying about people here suggesting bras.  Since joining, I've noticed advice went from "bra optional up to B, recommended at C, required above C" to people simply recommending bras left right and center.  That way of pushing for bras can make new members uncomfortable, I think we should be careful not to push them into a specific decision.  Let's rather give them as much information as possible, so they can then decide.

William, the way you're posting is very uncomfortable to read.  It looks like you're simply quoting posts and not even saying anything.  So please post your replies outside of the quotes.  Or if you want to post several individual replies to different parts of a quote, mark your replies somehow (like making them bold or something).

Offline Traveler

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We HAVE engaged. It’s you who won’t listen. 

aboywithgirls

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William, 
There are different ways that people deal with accepting and living with breasts. 

I have discovered that most people who have breasts usually wear a garment of some sort to deal with them. I also discovered that the most popular garment that people chose is a bra. I know! Shocker! 

There are those who choose to bind, compression shirts,  ace bandage. None of these are recommended by health care professionals. 

It's obvious that you want to change how we accept and deal with our breasts. Im not sure why. However instead of trying to tear down something that works, you should try and build something that works for you and see if you can gain your own followers 

Offline Traveler

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And I’ll remind you again that most men still live in shame and are stigmatized by their breasts. Most men that have accepted they have breasts can realize when a topic doesn’t interest them and move on. You’re doing more harm than good with your narrow mindedness. Move on or leave.

gmast

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Most men that have accepted they have breasts can realize when a topic doesn’t interest them and move on. You’re doing more harm than good with your narrow mindedness. Move on or leave.
Can we say hypocrite?  You seem only interested in one side of the conversation.  Maybe you need to follow your own advise and move on.


 

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