It is official, I’m just fat

[Moobzie]

From Taxmapper:
"The need for men to be 'Alpha Male" or be considered weakling. Women look for guys with large pecks, square jaws, and manley he-man aspects.  any of them who say otherwise is lying,."

A few years back I came across a site that had asked women their opinions of / reactions to men with boobs.
All of the respondents she recorded were, almost universally, in the "Ewww Yecchh" category.  "Looks" concerns are even harsher for women - they've been concerned with their appearance since..well, since before recorded history (read the "Song of Songs" and the story of "Esther" in the Bible: they are fascinating, remarkably contemporary in the treatment of female looks, and gave me a helpful historical overview / perspective on it).

Just "nature at work".  Tough on us.  But there are some ladies who realize gyno isn't or choice - i.e., a sign of us wanting to be less than masculine, and so take us as is.  How it goes from there is up to us, and bras are only a small part of that. 

So ... here we are, and this forum is very, very helpful for those of us who have developed breasts coming to grips with it, deciding how to deal with it, and learning how to comfortably live with the response choice(s) we each make.

Thank goodness for this forum.

[tryingtoaccept]

I am not surprised Moobzie, everybody’s brain is hardwired to perceive certain characteristics as masculine or feminine.  People have to change their own way of thinking.  Everyone has different speeds of change or reasons for wanting the change.  I am extremely lucky to have a wife that is ok with me having moobs.  If my Urologist puts me on testosterone therapy I am now not as worried about the possible side effect of gyno.  I just got diagnosed with pseudo and now this therapy might reverse that to true breasts.  I am now on a crazy emotional roller coaster and I will have to see how it plays out.  I am so thankful that I have a supportive wife by my side.  This forum has also taken a lot of the anxiety and sting out of this journey.

[brock123]

I am not surprised Moobzie, everybody’s brain is hardwired to perceive certain characteristics as masculine or feminine.  People have to change their own way of thinking.  Everyone has different speeds of change or reasons for wanting the change.  I am extremely lucky to have a wife that is ok with me having moobs.  If my Urologist puts me on testosterone therapy I am now not as worried about the possible side effect of gyno.  I just got diagnosed with pseudo and now this therapy might reverse that to true breasts.  I am now on a crazy emotional roller coaster and I will have to see how it plays out.  I am so thankful that I have a supportive wife by my side.  This forum has also taken a lot of the anxiety and sting out of this journey.

Whatever happens, please try do your best to embrace the presumed absurdity of this from your perspective? We are our own harshest critics, other people, be they spouses or merely acquaintances, or whatever, are also always worrying about themselves much more than they are worrying about you?

There is nothing wrong with a man having boobs (true gynecomastia or not) and also having a desire to conceal/hide them for any personal reasons. We are all human and "it happens". To me, our greatest fear is how we may be judged by others when they discover any "gender" concerns that we didn't invite but have still had to work with regardless?

As of today, I've worn a Sports Bra to bed for the past 4-5 nights, and while it always "came off" and landed on the floor, it has never been a sexual deterrent? Women are a lot more understanding and body-conscious than we are about this sort of thing?

[tryingtoaccept]

Thanks Brock123, we are our own worst enemy.  I do need to keep reminding myself of that.  I have learned that we see ourselves much harsher than others do and I need to remind myself of that a lot more often than I do.

[Orb]

I really don't like it when someone says to me, " If I were you I would...", fill in the blank.  Truth of the matter is everyone would do just as I do.  It is that simple.  We make decisions and choices right for us factoring in all of the background information, our personal feelings, considering the effects of those around us etc.  Others advise us not always knowing all that.  They advise and judge based on their own feelings on the matter.  Only those that truly "know" us and are looking out for our best interest can have any input into my, decision making.  Hopefully yours.  Do what makes sense for you.  Many here offer great solutions and make recommendations because they, we, can empathize.  Knowing that, listen to all, glean what you can, and be.

  One thing for sure is everyone here truly does care.  

[Busty]

Even if you are “just fat,” so have pseudo gynecomastia, your breasts won’t go away with weight loss. They may shrink some, but so will the rest of you. At the end of your weight loss, you will most likely have breasts as prominent as you do now, maybe even more noticeable on a slender body 

[tryingtoaccept]

Even if you are “just fat,” so have pseudo gynecomastia, your breasts won’t go away with weight loss. They may shrink some, but so will the rest of you. At the end of your weight loss, you will most likely have breasts as prominent as you do now, maybe even more noticeable on a slender body

That is something I have thought about.  I will have to see how things play out in the end.  If I still have fatty boobs then I will discuss with my wife if I should get liposuction.  If she is still ok with them then I will probably just let nature take its course.

[WPW717]

To put a little wrinkle in the conversation it’s worth noting that testosterone can be converted to estrogen by an enzyme called aromatase. Free testosterone is most easily converted to estrogen, then the circulating hormone connected to SHBG transport hormone is converted too as it frees up to become free testosterone. This estrogen gets added to your normal estrogen. Combine this with a falling Testosterone and the T/E ratio begins to skew towards estrogen dominance. In my opinion weight loss slightly accelerates the process. My T level when finally checked was 150-160 pg/dl. Jan to June it dropped to 52. Normal low for a healthy 80 y/o is approximately 300. I am not 80!

At 72 I went from an ok breast situation to a rapid growth for 6 months then a leveling off for 7 months. Now itching and tender spurt that is pumping me up to a 50.5 “ bust with an under bust of 44. That’s how fast things change. Happy to have found this forum as it allowed me to move forward through some of these stages of acceptance rapidly to getting relief by unlined soft pullover bra. 
No bounce or chafe with vigorous movement. Bob

[benusa]

Hi WPW717,
I think that’s part of what’s been going on with me. I’ve been on testosterone and an estrogen blocker for a years but have had constant growth over the past year.

[Brdy64]

I think the reason women are not shallow like men is that women are constantly judged on breast size, butt size, leg shape, tummy shape, hair style color, you name it. We have a taste of that due to our chests.

I agree and disagree.

Women are judged on looks. That's a eons old issue. its also why women want to look the best, to attract a mate. That's nature at work. Men however are judged also on looks and various physical aspects.

From Viking lore, Ivan the boneless.
Lebanese: Al- Aaraj (The Crippled) or Al-Abras (The Leper) or Tokyo Sexwale.  (not making that name up either.)

The need for men to be 'Alpha Male" or be considered weakling. Women look for guys with large pecks, square jaws, and manley he-man aspects.  any of them who say otherwise is lying,.

Competing for mating is part of the natural aspects of life.  but we also have intellect, and that is what separates us out from the lemmings and sheep.

Moreover to the "fat' issue, there are some in life's lottery who wind up with the short stick. (myself included.) So make the lemonade, take the seeds and grow a lemon grove and sell the lemons!

I asked a lady friend/CNA at the center about what she thinks about "men with boobs". 
Not as anything other than her opinion about it. 
Her look was "Ew", and she said that she did not find that attractive at all. 

She did say that if her boyfriend ended up growing a pair she would stay within him anyway. But her preference is "no boobs".
That is I think how my wife that left me felt as well. I did of course have boobs all my adult life, but they could be hidden by baggy shirts and a vest up until about 3 years ago. That coincides with my wife finally leaving as well. 

But we are all different, women included. I'm sure there are just as many women that like breasts as women that don't. 🤔

[Moobzie]

From Brdy64:
"But we are all different, women included. I'm sure there are just as many women that like breasts as women that don't."


Every survey of women's attitude toward men with developed breast that I've seen has shown a super majority find it unattractive - the "Eww" reaction.  It is what it is, as the saying goes.
That said, since those of us who - for one reason or any other - choose not to have surgery are faced with the above fact, we develop 'coping mechanisms'.  These seem to range from various methods of camouflage (esp clothing) to very openly not worrying about anyone's reaction to a guy with developed breasts.
How we cope is up to each individual, individually.  Here in this forum we've found kindreds with whom we can relate and share about our big-boobed journeys.  Which is very cool.
However, we cannot change biological reality - nor do I personally think we should try to.  Part of accepting 'how' I am involves me accepting 'how' others are, including ladies in the "Eww-ing" category.
I'm only responsible for MY actions / reactions - can't change anyone else.
Am delighted to have found others who know, understand, relate to, accept, and maybe commiserate with how I have developed (in more ways than one! -LOL).

[Brdy64]

From Brdy64:
"But we are all different, women included. I'm sure there are just as many women that like breasts as women that don't."


Every survey of women's attitude toward men with developed breast that I've seen has shown a super majority find it unattractive - the "Eww" reaction.  It is what it is, as the saying goes.
That said, since those of us who - for one reason or any other - choose not to have surgery are faced with the above fact, we develop 'coping mechanisms'.  These seem to range from various methods of camouflage (esp clothing) to very openly not worrying about anyone's reaction to a guy with developed breasts.
How we cope is up to each individual, individually.  Here in this forum we've found kindreds with whom we can relate and share about our big-boobed journeys.  Which is very cool.
However, we cannot change biological reality - nor do I personally think we should try to.  Part of accepting 'how' I am involves me accepting 'how' others are, including ladies in the "Eww-ing" category.
I'm only responsible for MY actions / reactions - can't change anyone else.
Am delighted to have found others who know, understand, relate to, accept, and maybe commiserate with how I have developed (in more ways than one! -LOL).

Wow, I didn't know they did a survey 🤔
My wife is in the "Eww" category, that I realized as I really started to bloom. 
I have found several CNAs and nurses that have commented on "how nice my breasts are", but that doesn't really indicate that they thought they look good on me. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone has ever said they look good on me. 🤔
Oh well, they are most definitely there, and not going anywhere. I'll enjoy having the company of the girls even if no one else appreciates them. 😉

[tryingtoaccept]

This thread has taken an interesting turn.  My doctor has put me on Clomiphene for low T so I will see how that goes.  I have seen in my research that I may have as much as a 25 percent chance of developing gynecomastia.  So at some point in the future I may have to change the title of this thread.  I will see what nature has in store for me in my journey through life.