Son with Gynecomastia

[gyneco_jason]

Yeah that's probably true, I think Torrid's smallest band is 36, so maybe if he still needs one in a few years they'd be worth checking out. One of the problems with finding bras for gynecomastia is that guys have much wider chests than girls, like in the mid-40s range, but a lot of the brands that are that wide don't carry cup sizes smaller than C, whereas the brands like Victoria Secret come in good cup sizes for gynecomastia but don't come in large enough band sizes. I'm right between a 42B and 42C, and ideally you want a firm fit in the cups so they don't add any more volume to your chest.
My mom knows I wear bras, but we don't really talk about it. She doesn't disapprove or anything, it's just awkward. I didn't try wearing one until after I moved out on my own for college, so I just dealt with it in high school and got teased about it all the time, like in gym class, etc.

[Gynomom]

 I agree with you 100% about band sizes and what different stores carry. 

 I’m really sorry for the teasing, especially at PE. My son has experienced the same, unfortunately.  I have asked him if he wanted me to speak up, but he says it would just make it worse. What do you think?  

[AtoDDD]

Gynomom, your story was uplifting and made my day. It shows how deep a mother’s love for a child can be. To say he is lucky to have you, and you to have him, would be a gigantic understatement. I can’t offer any advice because I got my breasts when I was 33 yo. My mom is deceased now but like you, she would have done anything for me in terms of emotional support and would shield me from life’s misfortunes. I just wish all moms were like you.

[p.r.1974]

Gigantic understatement indeed! I started puberty between 9 and 10, with some glandular growth and a bit from weight. The school days were not pleasant, and having someone to talk to without judgement would have saved a lot of heartache, poor choices, and therapy.

My development fluctuated between an A & B cup until my mid 20's, and has increased to my current C. I choose to wear every day for support and moisture management, even at work. 

I too am fond of unlined underwire bras. I also use nipple covers for modesty.

[Gynomom]

AtoDDD and PR 1974, thank you for saying that.  I am trying my best, but so much I don’t understand

[AtoDDD]

AtoDDD and PR 1974, thank you for saying that.  I am trying my best, but so much I don’t understand

I got my breasts when I was 33yo which is almost unheard of (age).If I were you I would go to a breast care specialist and / or an endocrinologist for professional 
guidance. That’s what I did and it turned out I have forty times more female hormones than
male hormones so I’m optimistic that I will eventually fill a C cup.
Also, 
Genetics have a lot to do with it, a man can expect to have the same cup size as his sister. Are the women in your family tree typically large breasted?

[zink]

I have a 12-year-old son who has significant gynecomastia.  He is a bit chubby, but his breasts go beyond Pseudogynecomastia.

Our family doctor says there is glandular tissue behind his nipples, which are puffy and larger and feminine in appearance.  His breasts also have a female shape, and I would estimate them at a small B cup size.

The doctor says his breasts will most likely go away over time, but I notice them continuing to develop.

Welcome to the message board. I developed gyno when I was entering puberty around 13 years old I think. Unfortunately I felt so self-conscious about it that I didn't talk to anyone about it until several years later when I was already on the road to surgery around 19 years old. When I was finally open with it to my mum she was so supportive, I wish I had done it earlier instead of struggling alone for so long. So well done on being there for your son, that's amazing!

I also had Drs tell me that it would 'go away over time' but the reality if you're living with it is obvious that's not the case. It is difficult to live with as a boy/man, especially in a school environment where everyone is body-conscious at that age and you have to share changing rooms etc so it's difficult to hide. If you're able to be supportive that will help your son a lot, but the physchological struggle is still difficult.

I was lucky to have two operations which removed almost all of my gyno - this completely changed my life for the better as I was so restricted and afflicted by it socially and personally. I'd imagine the drs would hesitate to operate until puberty is mostly over so I'm afraid in the meantime it is a long and difficult road to learning to live with it. Perhaps your son will get used to it as well and hope he can feel happy in his body.

[aboywithgirls]

AtoDDD and PR 1974, thank you for saying that.  I am trying my best, but so much I don’t understand

Genetics have a lot to do with it, a man can expect to have the same cup size as his sister. Are the women in your family tree typically large breasted?

This is true in my case. My sister and I are both 36H in most of our bras. I feel bad for her because I live close to a few lingerie boutiques that carry our size. She has to travel a couple hours to find her size. As a result, when she comes to visit, we usually end up bra shopping together. 

[Gynomom]

Zink,  thank you for sharing your experience. This has been a support group for me.   I’m so glad it turned out well for you, but it sounds like you had five or six years of challenges.  Would you have liked to have worn a bra during those years,  and if so, how best would’ve been to go about it? 

ABWG,  I agree genetics can play a role. I am a C or D cup, depending on the bra 

[zink]

Zink,  thank you for sharing your experience. This has been a support group for me.  I’m so glad it turned out well for you, but it sounds like you had five or six years of challenges.  Would you have liked to have worn a bra during those years,  and if so, how best would’ve been to go about it?

ABWG,  I agree genetics can play a role. I am a C or D cup, depending on the bra

Not sure mine would have been quite large enough for a bra but it definitely wasn't something I'd have considered at all. Socially my main concern and struggle was to try to hide it, so I'd wear two tshirts or loose clothes etc, hunch my shoulders and it was just very awkward and a constant cause of anxiety.

Having support around your son will definitely help him get through and deal with the challenges, well done.

[AtoDDD]

Gynomom,
Reading your posts almost brought tears to my eyes, as you are so much like my now deceased mother. She would take a bullet for me, she would move heaven and earth to shield me from life’s misfortunes. While I was flat chested in high school, I did have severe acne on my back and upper shoulders that embarrassed me no end, so I can understand the “shirts vs skins “ problem. It broke her heart that I could not get a gf so she was constantly telling me that I was attractive to girls. 
You are one in a million mom- wise and I hope you will contribute to this thread. If anyone deserves a stoke of good luck it is you, and by extension, your son.

[Quest]

Gynomom

It's nice to see you take care of your son. I’m 30 now and I admire you as such a responsible, loving single mother.

My breasts began to grow around the age of 10. I was also a bit chubby. Then only my grandmother seemed to notice the problem, but the others assumed it would be temporary and disappear by itself.

Unfortunately, instead of disappearing, the breasts grew larger. For a long time I did not pay attention to this, although I was a bit disturbed by the bouncing and movement of the breasts.

A breakthrough was the day we spent together with my parents and cousin (an adult woman) on the beach. At one point, my cousin curiously stated that I had breasts larger than hers. I was a little shocked because I had never looked at my breasts this way before. My embarrassment must have been visible, because no one continued the topic.

Shortly after that, I went to an endocrinologist who examined my breasts quite thoroughly and said that after growing up, breasts should be reduced.  This has not happened so far (Now I fill D cup).  The subject of gynecomastia was a taboo subject, which did not help in dealing with problems such as teasing.

Once it happened that in the locker room a boy from the class grabbed my breast and commented that I had bigger breasts than my female classmate. I hit him hard enough (after all, he was the first to break my bodily integrity) that from that moment no one tried to touch my breasts anymore. There were sometimes verbal taunts and suggestions that I should wear a bra but I didn’t care about that.

My aim is that you should prepare your son for this type of behavior and confirm his belief that nobody has the right to attack him, either verbally or even more physically.

And such acts of aggression testify badly about the aggressor, not about him.

In my opinion, it is also worth teaching son how to defend himself and say that if necessary, he always has to fight for his dignity, “because there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that.” (from movie: Scent of woman 1992).

I think that struggling with this type of problems (with your support) can come out for good and make your son mentally stronger and more independent, which in life will definitely be useful.

If you have questions, ask boldly.

Paul

[Bosh808]

Gynomom: 
I'm curious on a follow  up on how your son is doing with wearing a bra. I've read in another post that he's actually wearing now. How does he like it? Has he adjusted? 

[Dale Warnio]

I know this thread is a couple months old, but I am new here. I wish someone was that way with me at any age. How are things going ?

[davidinno]

Gynomom .... bless you for standing on your son's side.  You are a gem.

My comment:  I know I am late to the party but wrt the PE class issue, I suggest that your son should keep track of all the comments, harassment, etc he endures.  Including how many times he is assigned "skins" out of the shirts vs skins incidents.  He doesn't have to speak up, but if you decide that the data to back up a formal complaint are there, you can ...  and you really have an obligation to do so.

(e.g., if the PE teacher always assigns him to skins, as some correspondents have reported)