Author Topic: UNUSUAL FORM OF NON ACCEPTANCE!  (Read 2127 times)

Busted (and happy)

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A weird one. 
Here in the UK, I only buy Marks and Spencer Bras.  I have found styles that work and also size seems to work across those designs.
After a period building confidence in sizing I have almost always bought my bras from a number of ebay sellers (surplus stock at end of seasons or last years colours etc) without any problems. 

I recently bought  and paid for a bra only to find that the seller cancelled the sale. My initial reaction that it was out of stock but no, it turns out she wouldn't sell to a man! Additionally she has put me on her banned  buyers list.
I was buying for myself, but it might have been for my wife! That plus trying to explain gyno cut no ice

As my my Yorkshire grandfather used to say "there's nowt so queer as folk"

Three weeks on I am rather pleased that the bra in question has still not sold even though she has now reduced the price in stages by 50%

Offline Johndoe1

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You are not alone. It's happened to me before as well. Some people can't see their nose despite there face. Discrimination comes from all quarters. My harshest ridicule has come from women even though more women accept my bust than men. Sorry to hear you had to put up with it. It sucks.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Busted (and happy)

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Hi John 
I thought I would just share out of solidarity. I am past needing sympathy or people apologising for the idiocy of others. 
The only thing that really gets to me is the attitude of fellow Christians. Attitudes that make me wonder whether they really 'get' the life they are supposedly committed to.

Offline Johndoe1

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I think that's true for most anything anymore. :)

Orb

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  I'm glad you didn't let it get under your skin Busted.  Informed people, those told the truth, yet fail to believe it and apply it will remain ignorant.  Stupid on their own volition.  I have found those same people, well rooted in faith, dare not delve into the hard issues and keep things black and white.  Makes it easier to cope and requires less thought provoking conversation.  I love that deep thought.  For me it has strengthened my faith and allowed me to see and love others better.
  Humans...

Offline taxmapper

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orb, my faith has not waivered when in regards to my understanding of the world has been in many multiple times challenged. God has a funny way of doing things. 

I too was of the ilk that saw the black and white of things until some of the people closest to me started pointing out that the blinders I kept on made me ignorant of real truth over opinion. 

Now having the breasts has put me into a situation of defending folks who do not fit the norm. I know and have spent much time with the black sheep, outcasts, and the rejected. Given I am one of them as well, then discover that many are scientists at various Nat. labs, doctors, Nurses, lawyers, police officers et-al, and not low level either. 

Yet are all diff. in many ways that goes well outside the "norm". 

The 'ol Man has a way of teaching you thing in ways that you understand. 

At times, it can be quite amusing to see my beliefs challenged and knocked down. The revelations I have had at times are quite eye opening. 

Orb

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Taxmapper,

    That is so true.  People with more life experiences learn from them and are more open to differing views.
I've had many experiences... I see and love everyone.  Like you said God loves all unconditionally.  I think I can also.  We just have to listen to others and then see the why things are the way they are.  Only then can we truly see them and understand them.

Busted (and happy)

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I am very ecouraged everytime I look at my chest and say to myself that, whatever the straightlaced folk say, "God has a sense of humour" 

Offline Johndoe1

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I try and see a positive in everything because I have found there usually is if you look.

For years I not only hated but loathed my chest. I wished it gone everyday. I wanted a flat chest. As time went on my bosom became more prominent and feminine in appearance. After a while I couldn't hide them anymore. They were too large to bind comfortably. I didn't know what to do and made bad choices in clothing that only exasperated the situation. After a while I started to sag under the weight hanging off my chest. I developed my first rash in my IMF. At the same time my nipples started to chafe as they jiggled under my shirts. I went to the doctor. I investigated the cost of a reduction. Insurance won't pay for it and revision surgery was a possibility. At this point (years of fear and discomfort) I was tired of dealing with it and began to find a positive in having such a feminine trait. To be honest, I didn't see many. But over time I learned what I had and how to deal with them. I started wearing bras for support.  got some advice from a very close female friend on how not to stand out and things began to get better, slowly. Her advice was treat them for what they are, mammary tissue, as women do. Bras nor tanks nor tops have magical powers. It's just cloth. Be comfortable and be yourself and that's what I have tried to do. Over a time period, I have  become more comfortable, physically and mentally, with my unasked for feminine trait.

Over time I have come to be thankful for what I have. It's just boobs not some terminal disease. And over time I have come to like having them. I have a window into a part of life my male friends can't even comprehend. Has it been/is easy? No, it has not but I have a much better appreciation for what women have to deal with on a daily basis because I do too, physically as well as mentally. The judgement of breast size and shape we deal with is the same but much worse for women. Judgement of you by your boobs. And that's why I think women accept us easier than men. They deal with the judgement as well. And that's how I deal with my bust. I follow women's lead. They have the tools to deal with them. So I use them to my advantage. Survival.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2021, 08:01:44 AM by Johndoe1 »

Orb

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Thank you for saying that John.

I hope that is as encouraging for others as it is for me.  I have been mocked and poked fun of as a kid and made it to the other side.  Like you said as we age we get wiser, more tolerant, and self assured.  I have no shame in the changes to my physical being.  Being the brunt of an off comment brings me back but not down.  Another persons judgmental look or... proves their ignorance and insecurities.  I like you would rather live happy than feeling like there is something wrong with me.  I'm happy being me, living large and enjoying life.

John, its words like that that will hopefully get others to the state of acceptance and be able to live without feelings of shame.  There is none.  I have seen many other comments like this also.  keep it up everyone.  Its still good to hear for us all.

Busted (and happy)

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I too have come to like having them. At least I know I would miss them if they disappeared. Some chance! I think they are actively growing at the moment. Just wondering where they will stop.

I find it much better to think of them as friends rather than enemies. 

Offline concernedjacob

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You are not alone. It's happened to me before as well. Some people can't see their nose despite there face. Discrimination comes from all quarters. My harshest ridicule has come from women even though more women accept my bust than men. Sorry to hear you had to put up with it. It sucks.
absolutely agree with you, often women are the most brutal against men with gyno

men seem to be more accepting of it though male bullies exist as well

many women have a huge problem with men that have gyno

note that i did not say all, i realize there are also good women who do not do this

but in my personal life, the worst comments and harassment about it, were also from women, even utter complete strangers i didn't look at
just an older gyno sufferer

Offline gyneco_jason

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I've never been ridiculed by a woman over my boobs. But the guys in high school gym class thought it was hilarious to call me "Pam," as in Pamela Anderson, and the gym teacher never put a stop to it.

Busted (and happy)

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Must have been dreadful.
My gyno is of late onset as is so often the case. I am not sure I would have coped if I had it at school as a teenager. Early onset is also fairly common but usually transitory. Fairly common across whole teenage population but relatively unusual in any one school, hence it is a "education" that stupid morons never get and unfortunately they carry attitudes into adult hood and never do become informed
« Last Edit: October 16, 2021, 02:34:06 AM by Busted (and happy) »

Offline Johndoe1

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Being an "early bloomer" several times in high school I was ridiculed by girls offering me their bras or having a bra hung on my locker with a note saying, "You left this in the girls bathroom.". "Fun" times. :'(


 

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