Wifely Worries

[sofa]

O

My wife is simular.  I dont do the pantie thing but when im run/walk i wear a sports bra a moving comfort vero.  My wife does not agree with it and does not want to know.  So I try to avoid her knowing.  Last vacation she was packing and i forgot to put my bra in my laptop bag i walked with every morning. She was like your still wearing that.  She said your only wearing it when walking right?  I really only wear it then to reduce bounce and pain. Still I feel like im having to sneak and feel guilty wearing it. Wish it wasent that way. Mine are not extremly large.  Lets just say she gets mad and silent whenever she finds a wore it.

Why don't you take her to a nudist resort for vacation?  That way both of you could walk around together completely nude and get used to the basic body stuff.  I bet it would change her experience and her opinion,.  Good luck.

Haha no way that would fly.  Neathere would i want to go.  

[hammer]

Oh come on, it like taking a shower in the men's locker room and all the girls were invited, but the water was turned off, or vice versa!

You know, while I was in the Navy I saw plenty of nude beaches in Europe along and Mediterranean as well as co-ed rest rooms! After awhile it isn't a big deal!

[Alchemist]

My wife is simular.  I dont do the pantie thing but when im run/walk i wear a sports bra a moving comfort vero.  My wife does not agree with it and does not want to know.  So I try to avoid her knowing.  Last vacation she was packing and i forgot to put my bra in my laptop bag i walked with every morning. She was like your still wearing that.  She said your only wearing it when walking right?  I really only wear it then to reduce bounce and pain. Still I feel like im having to sneak and feel guilty wearing it. Wish it wasent that way. Mine are not extremly large.  Lets just say she gets mad and silent whenever she finds a wore it.

Why don't you take her to a nudist resort for vacation?  That way both of you could walk around together completely nude and get used to the basic body stuff.  I bet it would change her experience and her opinion,.  Good luck.

Not that I want to sound mean, but if she's not open minded enough to accept the bra, I don't think she'll go for the camp, but who knows I was wrong once before, I think it was in 1977!

There wouldn't be any bras to worry about.

[Alchemist]

O

My wife is simular.  I dont do the pantie thing but when im run/walk i wear a sports bra a moving comfort vero.  My wife does not agree with it and does not want to know.  So I try to avoid her knowing.  Last vacation she was packing and i forgot to put my bra in my laptop bag i walked with every morning. She was like your still wearing that.  She said your only wearing it when walking right?  I really only wear it then to reduce bounce and pain. Still I feel like im having to sneak and feel guilty wearing it. Wish it wasent that way. Mine are not extremly large.  Lets just say she gets mad and silent whenever she finds a wore it.

Why don't you take her to a nudist resort for vacation?  That way both of you could walk around together completely nude and get used to the basic body stuff.  I bet it would change her experience and her opinion,.  Good luck.

Haha no way that would fly.  Neathere would i want to go.  

I know of nothing better for for getting rid of the malignant body shame that has guys throwing their life away and believe that cutting pieces of their body off is the only solution.  That is really desperate.  As I've said before, with the miseries and traumas of 7th grade through college, at that age and the desperation I felt, surgery would have been a wonderful option but it didn't exist.  I know a woman somewhat younger than me who had breast reduction surgery back in the 70s.  The job was such an ugly butchery that she stopped going out, and made sure she would never be seen nude my a male again (she wasn't/isn't a nudist).  Her breasts are a patchwork of scars.  The size breasts she had were impossible to support comfortably, lot's of pain.  She had good reason to have a reduction.  She acts like some of the most traumatized of the guys with gynecomastia.  I used to be one of those guys.  I'm speaking from experience.

[chifer]

Hi Steven, since I came together with the woman who is now my wife, I did everything in open discussion with her; from discussing their role in our relationship to choosing compression shirts to everything regarding my recent surgery.

I think what is important is that they are an (integral!) part of you. It is something you cannot get around, along with their downsides (e.g., the sores). You write that she is very understandable, so I am sure that she will be open to reason. So I would recommend you to sit down with her, and have a talk in which you:

• Acknowledge that she has her problems with you wearing bras.
• Explain that you want to make your point clear.
• Describe your discomfort and your fear of not doing anything about it.
• Provide supporting arguments (sagging breasts is definitely one of them).
• Try to understand what feelings still cause her to not be okay with it.
• Find a solution that respects her boundaries but meets your needs.

For me, a core aspect would be to understand why she has issues with it, and why she tells you: "just let me know ahead of time so I am prepared for it". I cannot quite understand where that comes from, but I am convinced she has her reasons. Maybe it is a form of implicit disgust, where she feels very confronted with your breasts when they are so clearly "marked" through a bra. I know you have very good reasons, but I'm sure she has very good reasons as well.

If you can find that out, maybe the solution could even be that she just has to get to terms with you having to wear a bra, and maybe the both of you just need a transition period in which you slowly increase the frequency and duration of wearing a bra. You can work on it together and keep it a point of discussion.

If she has a problem with bras but would not be as put off by a compression shirt or other garment that relieves your discomfort, that might be a good compromise during the times that you are with her.

If there is no possibility for a solution, an absolute last resort would be to use a "veto". You are entitled to it, just as you are entitled to a band-aid to put on a wound or a concealment if you have something embarrassing (e.g., a pimple or ugly scar). You have sores, which is your body telling you that have to do something about it (and things could get even worse). I would still recommend taking the "discussion" road, but if this is a point where she is not as understandable as usual and stuck in a way that you cannot get her out of, you'll have to persist. But perhaps I would even prefer a joint visit to your GP or to a mediator first, as this is a big thing.

[TooMuchBoob]

Just a few thoughts on this thread.

I can see why nudist resorts would be a good option for some people. I'm sure there are tons of people that don't have fit/perfect/model type bodies. Personally though, if I want to see naked people - other than my wife - I want to see people that have fit/perfect/model type bodies - because they are not the norm.

When it comes to bras, I have really only put them on to see if I have grown any - typically once a month or so. My boobs are quite firm and they don't yet need support. I have no idea how the subject would evolve if I reached a point where I needed to wear one. My wife currently says she sees plenty of guys with as much as I have (funny, I have seen only one or two), and she doesn't have a problem with them at this point.

However, they are still growing, and at some point they will probably become very significant (solid B right now). She is so far supportive, but at the point of needing a bra (significant and very female breasts), I don't know what is going to happen. A bra is fairly visible in anything I would wear, so in warm weather it would be obvious.

My boobs are currently a big turn off for me - I just can't get past the fact that they don't belong there. It's hard to overcome 50+ years of a having a male chest. I would feel the same way if I suddenly sprouted a second penis or a third arm.

TMB

[walt]

hello , judging by your pix your moobs are not that large yet , alas mine are now a full c cup
I wear a 48C most of the time  the wife is ok with it but only pullover type bras , she had a holy caniption when I got a back closure bra.. so go figure that one . I do feel for ya best of luck.

[steven618]

Thanks for all the responses guys. I still have not told her of the bras but didnt need to as the growth stablized and all was well till i got the familiar pain and itches again. I feel they're just gonna keep growing. Ive had tests done and all is normal and had pituitary and testes examined and all is normal idk whats going on

[Alchemist]

Just a few thoughts on this thread.

I can see why nudist resorts would be a good option for some people. I'm sure there are tons of people that don't have fit/perfect/model type bodies. Personally though, if I want to see naked people - other than my wife - I want to see people that have fit/perfect/model type bodies - because they are not the norm.

When it comes to bras, I have really only put them on to see if I have grown any - typically once a month or so. My boobs are quite firm and they don't yet need support. I have no idea how the subject would evolve if I reached a point where I needed to wear one. My wife currently says she sees plenty of guys with as much as I have (funny, I have seen only one or two), and she doesn't have a problem with them at this point.

However, they are still growing, and at some point they will probably become very significant (solid B right now). She is so far supportive, but at the point of needing a bra (significant and very female breasts), I don't know what is going to happen. A bra is fairly visible in anything I would wear, so in warm weather it would be obvious.

My boobs are currently a big turn off for me - I just can't get past the fact that they don't belong there. It's hard to overcome 50+ years of a having a male chest. I would feel the same way if I suddenly sprouted a second penis or a third arm.

TMB

 "I'm sure there are tons of people that don't have fit/perfect/model type bodies. Personally though, if I want to see naked people - other than my wife - I want to see people that have fit/perfect/model type bodies - because they are not the norm."

I see.  You don't get it.  It has absolutely nothing to do about "want to see naked people".  And it most certainly isn't about "fit/perfect/model type bodies".  From your opinion of your body you most certainly don't fit in that category   The point is to learn to accept yourself and others over the normal distribution of body shapes in men and is helpful in getting rid of body shame and fear..  Something that half or more men have is entirely normal and "belong" there according to statistics and definitions.

"My boobs are currently a big turn off for me - I just can't get past the fact that they don't belong there. It's hard to overcome 50+ years of a having a male chest ."

50% to 70% of men die with mammary growth.  For more than half the men breast growth is entirely normal and obviously belongs there.  Diphallic guys are very rare, perhaps a few hundred in the USA whereas guys with breast growth is a majority of those around you even if you can't see them your wife does.  If you really feel the need to have them removed, make yourself happy.  I can assure you right now, while the surgeons will give it their best, "perfection" is rare.  Some will have satisfaction and some won't.  Some feel better about their bodies after surgery and some don't and have shame about the scars or shapes or whatever afterwords.

[paulpark21]

For those whose wife is not on board I suggest you enlist the help of your doctor.  Perhaps a note or opinion of your doctor will change her mind, especially if you have seen the doctor about discomfort or back pain.

Fortunately, my wife is on board with me wearing

[dbweb]

Several points caught my attention, and wanted to respond. 
Walt, with your breast size, you certainly need a decent support bra, you wife must not realize how much breast tissue in involved in a 48C cup.  Limiting what choices you can wear is not realistic-how would she respond if you told her she could only wear a training bra or something to that nature.
With regard to asking your GP or doc for a supporting statement as PaulPark mentioned, that is where I started from 3-4 years ago, and with that and some of the commentary and pictures from this site, I was able to convince my wife that I should be wearing bras, and eventually she became accepting.