"You need a bra!"
That was what one of my classmates said in sixth grade when she saw me with my shirt off. That was the first time I became conscious of my breasts developing. I remember that first year, and not for very long, I loved my breasts, took care of them, and they looked lovely to me. I had a green sweater that I knew showed off my little shape. I was so happy. I even found one of my big sister's old bras in the linen closet and secretly tried it on one day... not like it fit, though.
But after those first few months, I pretty much forgot about my breasts.
I want to tell the forum what my experiences were with my parents. After that first joyful period, I did experience pain in my nipple area, "bumps" like everyone here mentions. I told my mother about the lumps under my nipples, and she had our physician examine me. But nothing happened after that.
Then main puberty kicked in a few years later, about 8th grade, and conflicts began. I think everyone here in this forum knows what it is like. I was never very large, but large enough to be conspicuous, large enough to get a remark like that from my classmate, "You need a bra."
(Now that I am older, I am a bit larger and actually "pass" the pencil test that supposedly tells whether you should wear a bra.)
Anyway, all the anger and body hate and confusion I see in some of the posts here, I experienced that. Now, though, I am older, and I understand the genetics and endocrine reasons for my breasts, so I can be a bit more peaceful about my shape. When I was younger, I could not get surgery; now I do not want it. I sometimes wear a bra at home; mostly I do not.
A few years ago, I went in for my first breast exam. I felt lumps under my arm, and was worried that it was lymph nodes. My nurse practitioner asked me if I were on hormone replacement - and at first I thought she meant steroids for weightlifting.
Anyway, she said my breasts have a lot of dense tissue (glandular tissue), fibrocystic breast changes, and the milk ducts are enlarged to normal size for a woman. She referred my for screening ultrasound and mammography - all normal. Later that summer I looked at several mammography websites and found lots of mammograms of women's breasts that looked just like MY mammograms. I never knew the extent of my development til then. My breasts are uneven; I am a bit larger on the left.
In truth, I wish I could get back to the feeling I had in sixth grade when I loved my breasts and wanted to take care of them and saw them as pretty and was happy with them. I think that is impossible now, as an adult, but maybe not.
(In case you wonder - I have been sexually involved with lots of women, but I have never married. I live alone now.)
So now, I accept my breasts: I get my nurse practitioner to examine my breasts annually, I get my boobs smushed
in the annual mammogram session, layer my clothes carefully so that no one can see the headlights, and so on and so forth... and I try to get my feelings about my breasts to be peaceful.
OK, my life story is finished for now. I hope this helps some of the forum members who read it.
[P.S. I posted this in another area, Your Stories, but I think this area is maybe better.]
Topic: You need a bra; parents; layering etc. (Read 6773 times)
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