Curious people

[Brdy64]

I was minding my own business at the day center today reading posts off this web site on my phone. I got the strange feeling one gets when being watched, so I looked behind me and one of the other ladies was behind my wheelchair looking over my shoulder. 
Strange enough, she didn't apologize. She was too interested in the conversation that we were all having. 

"What's all that about?" Is all I got out of her. 

I of course closed the web page immediately, and then started explaining what gynecomastia is, and that a forum exists for people like myself that suffer from it. 
The conversation went from 'losing weight might work', to 'support types'. 

She of course was under the impression that it was all just fatty tissue, and that only women have boobs. I showed her old pictures where I was not overweight, but had boobs. Talked about my last mammograms, and the findings. 
It was eye opening for her as she had no idea that men could really have boobs. She just always assumed it was extra fat. 
She asked if talking about this with a member of the opposite sex was difficult. I told her it was easier to talk about it with someone that actually has boobs rather than with someone who does not. 

It still doesn't excuse her from eavesdropping 😐

[Began]

I agree with you it's easier to talk to a woman about this.  When dr sent me for mammogram I kinda freaked and called my sister because she had breast cancer and had  been through alot where breasts were concerned.  

[Upfront]

As a generalisation women are just plain easier to talk to. Full Stop..... 
One possible reason is they tend to meet over coffee and chat rather than  than at beer fueled exchanges in the pub and the uber competitiveness of sport and the associated bragging rights.

[Brdy64]

I agree with you it's easier to talk to a woman about this.  When dr sent me for mammogram I kinda freaked and called my sister because she had breast cancer and had  been through alot where breasts were concerned. 

My diagnosis of breast cancer in 1989 left me without a single male 'buddy' that had any meaningful support for me. 
It really boiled down to them saying: "Sucks to be you". 
Understandably we were all young back then, and breast cancer in males is VERY rare. 
An Architect friend of mine took me under 'Her' wing, being a survivor of breast cancer herself. 
Giving me the run down on what to expect at the cancer center, chemotherapy, types of surgery I might expect, and of course 'life after surgery'. 
Her support was invaluable. 

Testosterone driven conversations tend not to be very sensitive and lack greatly in the 'feelings' department. 
If it's not cars, sports, politics, or women all conversed over beer and games of billiards, it's not spoken about at all. 

[Brdy64]

Women are definitely just easier to talk to. They have empathy and sympathy embedded in them it seems to for the most part meet you on your level and process information with more patience and understanding.
I’ve only had one friend who saw me in a bra. It was unexpected and she was very polite and after some talking actually offered some sound advice and insight.

I have lots of women see me in and out of a bra. The CNAs come twice a day to help with meds, dressing, and showers. 
I have only had one of many of them that wasn't understanding. Most all of them are very polite, and respectful. 
The one that wasn't understanding did request to no longer have me as a client, so now I only see her at the center. 
The male staff do all have a problem with the 'bra thing". I no longer have male CNAs visiting. 

[taxmapper]

Men by design are suppose to have the A-Male aspect, stoic, hardened, experienced, leader, etc. The usual typical male roles. 
This is why its celebrated throughout history. 


Women are suppose to be nurturing, loving, caring, understanding, etc. 
Men typically have shorter lives because we do stupid s**.  

Women are suppose to be the refined side of things. 

OK, cool. I get it. 

Then comes in hormones, pollution, environmental changes, a screwed up society et-al. 


Were at a cross roads and WE get to live through this. 

It does make me wonder though how things were in the past when this WASNT in the covnersation! 

[42CSurprise!]

We've talked in the past about what contributes to increasing incidence of gynecomastia.  We know we've been exposed to plastics and chemicals of all sorts in the last fifty years.  We also know there has been significant weight gain in this country.  With rising rates of cancer, perhaps the product of poor food choices AND exposure to toxins, we're being given drugs that sometimes mess with our endocrine system.  Add to that the simple fact of aging and the changes in our bodies that result we have many factors contributing to increasing gynecomastia.  Then we have the internet and social media giving us the opportunity to inform ourselves and seek support as we navigate the changes happening in our bodies.  It is hardly surprising that the general population is not in tune with our reality, or supportive of choices we make to care for ourselves.  We're stepping into uncharted territory... dealing with questions about gender and how it is expressed.  As we witness in the current political climate, any questioning of gender is considered threatening as can be seen by a whole raft of laws intended to keep this genie in the bottle.

We are fortunate to have found one another.  It is never easy being different especially when faced with harsh judgment.  I don't believe anything we do here will ultimately change the way these issues are handled, but if we can at least find acceptance for ourselves AND a way of being in the world that is in alignment with our circumstances and our values, we will have succeeded.  If individuals we encounter are willing and able to understand our journey, that is wonderful.  But that is a gift and not a given.  We can, however, always be caring toward ourselves and kind to those willing to engage with us.  And here we will find support from men who understand this territory from first hand experience.  Thanks to all of you for participating in this conversation.

[p.r.1974]

Curious people.....I suppose where the curiosity comes from is important to me. I struggle with knowing the ones that are sincere in wanting to understand and those wanting ammunition. I missed the signs with some horrible "humans" that I took as being open and interested humans, and my brain keeps reminding me when a new person comes along.

I know that education and accepting others are the way forward. I am just tired of the willfully ignorant that only want to spout their hate to anyone that will listen. Especially the charismatic ones that disguise it as guidance. 

[Brdy64]

Occupational therapist flagged me down today. 
She commented that my chest is more than can be hidden, and I apparently am not even trying to anymore. 
I told her I'm just lying to myself if I thought I was hiding them anyway. 
I don't care anymore 😉

Another worker there said I should be proud, I was given more than her. 🤣

Interesting day today. 🤔

[Johndoe1]

Occupational therapist flagged me down today.
She commented that my chest is more than can be hidden, and I apparently am not even trying to anymore.
I told her I'm just lying to myself if I thought I was hiding them anyway.
I don't care anymore 😉

Another worker there said I should be proud, I was given more than her. 🤣

Interesting day today. 🤔

There does come a point when you can't hide what is not hide-able. You go with the flow. Know it very well.

I have found the medical professionals respect what you have. Last year I had to go into the hospital for a heart thing. While there I had many tests and procedures performed on and around my chest and my bust was always in the way. Every time the staff, male and female respected my modesty of my bust by only uncovering it when necessary for a test or procedure as they would with any woman having those procedures and taking a conscious effort to keep my modesty intact. I appreciated it and at no time did I feel uncomfortable or "weird" with them doing it. It all felt very natural actually. Their actions put me at ease and made the tests go smoother.

[Brdy64]

Occupational therapist flagged me down today.
She commented that my chest is more than can be hidden, and I apparently am not even trying to anymore.
I told her I'm just lying to myself if I thought I was hiding them anyway.
I don't care anymore 😉

Another worker there said I should be proud, I was given more than her. 🤣

Interesting day today. 🤔

There does come a point when you can't hide what is not hide-able. You go with the flow. Know it very well.

I have found the medical professionals respect what you have. Last year I had to go into the hospital for a heart thing. While there I had many tests and procedures performed on and around my chest and my bust was always in the way. Every time the staff, male and female respected my modesty of my bust by only uncovering it when necessary for a test or procedure as they would with any woman having those procedures and taking a conscious effort to keep my modesty intact. I appreciated it and at no time did I feel uncomfortable or "weird" with them doing it. It all felt very natural actually. Their actions put me at ease and made the tests go smoother.

For the most part the medical professionals have been pretty good, but this is Texas. 
The occupational therapist would much prefer that I at least attempted to conceal my chest, even though she has to admit it's not really possible.
She brought up 'Shapermints' garments as something that would shape and blend so as to make things 'less noticable'. 
I told her I'm not going to wear extra clothes in 90 degree heat, and I don't have a problem with my chest. I don't care anymore. 
Her last comment was, "I hope you don't get teased too much because of this".

[taxmapper]

For the most part the medical professionals have been pretty good, but this is Texas.
The occupational therapist would much prefer that I at least attempted to conceal my chest, even though she has to admit it's not really possible.
She brought up 'Shapermints' garments as something that would shape and blend so as to make things 'less noticable'.
I told her I'm not going to wear extra clothes in 90 degree heat, and I don't have a problem with my chest. I don't care anymore.
Her last comment was, "I hope you don't get teased too much because of this".

Ahhh gotta love social constructs. 

[Brdy64]

Ahhh gotta love social constructs.

All based off of 'Barbie and GI Joe' models as the preferred body types. 🤔

[Brdy64]

On a side note, the occupational therapist did comment this morning on how good my hair is looking now. Growing longer and fuller.
I had pretty thin hair on top before, enough that I pretty much was only cutting the sides every month. All of a sudden it started filling in about the same time I went into the growth spree a year ago.
It's still a bit thin, but growing in. 🤔

I told her it's my diet, but I think it's hormonal. 😉

[HeldUp]

I feel like the question back is "why do you think I need to hide anything?"

My guess is they would deflect to what they perceive is your own self-consciousness, but I would be interested in what that person would say if asked.

It's an interestingly scenario you live with, Birdie. Very few of us would have nearly as many scenarios as you face day to day. You seem to be handling it well!