Hoodies

[SideSet]

After I developed breasts, I pretty much wore an oversized hoodie to school every day, except when it was too warm, and even then, I wore one on marginally warm days. I learned this was a pretty good way to not display my growing breasts.

I preferred the pullovers, and would often wear them when not in school, but exclusively wore zipper hoodies to school. Sadly, this was because I learned the boys who groped me did not seem to twist my nipples and hurt me if I took off or unzipped my hoodie to give  them access to my nipples and breasts.

I pretty much knew my abusers' schedules and they mine.  I had learned the hard way if I tried to avoid them, I would get hurt.

I would always keep on my hoodie and keep it all zipped, except when I knew I was going to cross paths with one of my abusers.  Then, before we would cross paths, I learned to take off my hoodie and tie it around my waist, so they saw me walking towards them, my breasts jiggling and my nipples poking out of a light, thin top.  I found when I did this, they seemed to be gentler with my nipples and breasts. Of course, I had also learned to say the "magic" words, please pull my nipples if I wanted to avoid a painful twist.  For any chance encounter, I learned to immediately unzip, Give them a nice view of my breasts and nipples under my thin top and ask them to please pull on my nips.  

I learned to be submissive, and that they seemed to like my show of submission and pretty much no longer hurt me.

[brock123]

That sounds truly horrible to endure, and I'm sincerely sorry that you had to live through that nonsense. I hope you emerged "stronger" and more resilient to this type of gender bullying, but other than being able to "let it out" is there something you are hoping for in a reply?

I'm not "there" with you, I totally get that, but some of the stories shared here are just so heartbreaking to read that when they go uncommented upon I just ... well ... want to let you know that your story has been seen/read and was not ignored. I think that we all can find some correlation in our own lives where we felt similarly for whatever the underlying reason happens to be.

Thank you for sharing, and you're not alone.

[SideSet]

Brock, that is so kind and caring of you.  And you said the perfect thing.  I am guessing that what I have shared may be too sad, painful, raw, and perhaps too close to home? for some here.  And for that I apologize.

I believe my experiences did shape me, some for the better and some not.

[Johndoe1]

I totally get the submissive attitude. I too was somewhat submissive when around my tormentors as well. It was totally a self defensive and survival move. I can definitely say it did and continues in some form to affect me to this day. I am much better than I used to be, but it has certainly effected me to this day even though I have overcome much of my fear.

[Orb]

I just want to say that I too and sorry for the pain you all had to endure.  The lack of support even from the teaching staff makes me sad. 
The body shaming I had as a kid has never left.  It does satin us so to speak.  I like most here have learned to move on.  I'm proud of each and every one of you for being here, helping others and still growing in the process.

[Busty]

Amen to the body shaming, teasing, sexual assault (calling it what it was), no adult support.  I carry it with me, too.

And, yes, hoodies were my friends then, also.

[42CSurprise!]

I'm really sorry that men here experienced such things as boys.  This is true trauma and all of you paid a price for that.  My soft chest didn't attract such cruel attention, but my soft body left me an outlier in many ways.  I played sports when I was younger but it was clear as I reached adolescence that I couldn't compete on the playing field or the gym class.  At times i was pudgy and at other times I was slender.  I was always conscious of covering my body in the attempt to hide myself.  I'm old enough that "hoodies" were never an option, but I always found a way... loose fitting shirts or multiple layers.  No doubt, shame about our bodies carried a high price.  It is good we're here to share these stories so we're not alone with any of it.  This is a good start to finding self-acceptance.  We talk about accepting our breasts but in reality, the acceptance we need goes much deeper than that.  Thanks everyone for being part of this conversation.