Fight it or Accept It

[Dudewithboobs]

I recall reading articles on why some men accept estrogen dominance and some fight it and rush to course correct however possible. Especially when the dominance causes visible changes.

A variety of things mentioned from how one man to the next can see masculinity the same but simply be secure in themselves where others aren’t and being more related to personality than anything else. 

But one thing stood out and it was the boiling frog effect it mentioned. 

Men who experience a crash in testosterone whatever the reason being experiencing significant depression, anxiety, and insecurity. Being more prone to rush and correct however possible. For the obvious what is happening to me. 


Men who experience a slow drip in testosterone and estrogen imbalance acclimating their system to a shift in hormone control. Making them more susceptible to accepting the changes even being positive about them. Less aggression, brain fog that makes them feel more at ease, loss of libido that allows them to not be bothered by what higher libido comes with. Emotionally more sensitive and being ok with being more expressive to not let it build up etc etc. 

Where many men will experience the negatives emotionally, mentally, physically. Others will experience these same issues but over a duration of time that makes them welcoming of the changes. And where many can receive the same treatments to correct the issue. Others will say yes where others will decline even when faced with things may “worsen”. Due to a slow drip in shift that allowed them to adjust rather than feel under attack. 

I feel for many here this is the case. Unsure who even has their levels checked regularly. I do once a year and used to quarterly. But I just don’t care anymore. I personally very much enjoy how I am and think I would hate if my hormones were back to “normal”

[taxmapper]

When they first started, I had total acceptance from minute one.  For me though there are other aspects that are governing it.  This wasn't a "Bro!  I'm turning into a girl!!! SAVE ME" moment.  

For me there was a "finally it started" moment. This would take far too long to explain. But I would assume that the premise of the article is probably more accurate than not, and partially because the "slow boil" effect is true with many things. Acceptance of the "new normal" is a constant. 

[Dudewithboobs]

For sure. All paths to acceptance are different. For some it’s identity based which seems to be the root for some here. And for that I’m super excited for. Nothing better than what we wish would have been always but never got or could get and then naturally it just one day begins and continues forth. 

The article was primarily geared toward men who have zero female alignment in their identity or personality and more toward masculine men through and through who simply either find it to be a total betrayal of autonomy. Compared to others who find complete peace with it. And noting while many find it based on personality type, same masculinity views different ways they see their own when things like this happen. They found those how had consistent long term low T to be more accepting vs those who found their t suddenly compromised. 

[50/50]

Mine was the sudden crash. Severe night sweats. Would wake up in the middle of the night soaked with sweat. Hair was drenched like I took a shower. Hot flashes galore. Starting growing boobs. Sore as hell somedays. Nipples sore and super sensitive. Hard 24/7 now. Never go away.
Depression, severe mood swings. My whole family was upset with me. Had a son in law ask me why I was so mad all the time. I did not know. I hit rock bottom with suicidal tendencies.
Doctors were no help in the beginning until I finally found one that helped me understand it all.
Can’t talk to anybody about it. Men don’t do that. No one understands any of this even the doctors unless they have gone through it. 
I would never talk to anyone about this…it’s like menopause…it’s a woman thing.
I have a hard time talking about it on here in fear someone might shame me.
But with others on this site talking about has saved me. I’m so glad men have opened up about on this site. I thought I was the Lone Ranger. There are really others that have gone through it and still are.
The mental and physical changes that happen with loss of testosterone is mind boggling.
I’m much calmer now with estrogen dominance. Was thinking of going on testosterone replacement therapy but my wife said no. She loves the new calmer patient me. My kids like it, my grandkids love being around me now. So it’s a win win.
My butt is bigger, my boobs keep growing, I have a rounder softer body with muscle loss.
I have lost my body hair, not that I had all that much to begin with. Facial hair loss.
I have had to change my wardrobe because of this new body….and on and on.
But I’ll take it for it has made my relationship with my family soooo much better and I am really really happy now. No more anxiety, depression and huge mood swings.
So what that I have a healthy set of boobs. It was a good trade😄
And thank you all that have shared your stories about your journey. It helped me tremendously!

[Parity]

50/50 thanks for sharing such a pure and raw story.  Shame you?  NEVER!!!  

  I went through the same, night sweats, emotional feelings, etc.  I was always a "softer" person.  Not the football player, and I'm glad about that.  We talk about normal men, I still stand by the notion that just because any group, above 51 percent, is one way its normal.  I don't and won't buy into that.   Everyone is unique and right by me.  I like being a man that has empathy, compassion, feelings for the hurting... you pick.  Point is, I wish everyone had those qualities.  I feel it would be a better world.  Like you, those around me who see me,  love me for who I am... I will take delight in that all day every day.

Keep being you.  Let others enjoy you regardless of your physical changes.  Enjoy being a loving person.  I am!

[SwoopNscoop]

It's a thoughtful article which seems to make some good points. But it has some huge generalisations. We are all different in subtle ways and I suspect we all lie on a spectrum from total disgust to full on being out and proud of our changed bodies.
For myself, if you've seen my intro then my discovery of my boobs was sudden and I rebelled very quickly. But I think I'm moving quite quickly towards acceptance, and while each day is different, my attitude tends towards "if I've got breasts then I might as well make the best of it".
A large part of my changing mind has been driven by the excellent counselling sessions I've had from the service provided through UK NHS.
I'm on a journey but I'm seeing a sort of destination through a fog.
We are all different.

[TracyH]

I have never really fought against having breasts. Truth be told I like having them and wish that they were actually bigger. In the past year I have gotten to the point where I am wearing a bra much more then when I am not. Recently I had a chance to go to a pool and go swimming. I was worried about how I was going to pull that off. Wearing a women's bathing suit or a tankini wasn't an option this time, and going shirtless is something I am just not comfortable with any longer. I opted for the rash guard. The other big development is my need to use a sports bra during my workouts. So I would say I have fully embraced my breasts.


Tracy

[WPW717]

50/50 et. al,

Well written!

It was my trajectory too. It was rapid, tumultuous, painful  and mysterious to every doctor I saw. By the time the  labs showed there was a third tumor genetic testing was ordered . The genetic testing revealed them  the MEN Syndrome wasn’t classic. Missing the mutations of the expected genes but had mutation of a supposedly unrelated one. But there it was Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia. T/E ratio flips , aromatase overactivity, removal of adrenal & parathyroid glands & then an inoperable cranial tumor. Took years to get some stability, I am there now.
The errant gene is now being looked at as a new variant of MEN Syndrome… MEN 5. Ongoing research. It ( CHEK 2 ) can cause cancer, resected, and ups my odd of breast cancer. Went from 0.1% to 8-12%. Docs adhering to old education would cancel treatment /tests & a pharmacist would refuse to fill a prescription. Left the state, now in better hands. 
Cannot praise the members here for the support & understanding I’ve 2 1/2 years. I feel for us all & life goes on. I could write a book but it would take too much time away from living life. At 76 I am blessed with a great wife & her support. And my bra’s support too.
This site is marvelous for the acceptance of gynecomastia.

[oldguy]

Your comments mirror my experience, so I really don't have anything to add.

My wife supports me.  I do my best to hide them.  She will advise on what I should wear to achieve that.

So far, so good.

[WPW717]

Wow, rereading this I can see where I left out some crucial words…

[Traveler]

I would add “ignore it” to that list. I couldn’t fight growing breasts during puberty, they were just there. I guess it was mild acceptance in that I would just dress in baggy dark shirts, never swim in public without a shirt on, or shower after gym. Doctors were unhelpful. I became a isolated introvert.
It wasn’t till my late teens, early twenties that I started to come out of my shell. I realized that the fact I had breasts was just that and needed to just get on with my life.
I did find that a lot of women didn’t mind that they were there and a few really liked them! But, for the most part, I continued to be very careful and hide them the best I could, still do play them down as much as possible because, you know, society. It’s just that they are now of a size where it’s not possible to totally hide them. I get that knowing lol from women from time to time, but not that often.

[Sarahgyne]

Mine came on over six or seven years starting in my forties, and there was never an obvious point to intervene. Nothing dramatic enough to take to a doctor, and when I finally did bring it up the response was basically a shrug. Acceptance arrived by default more than by choice.

So I'd push back a little on the framing that the slow group accepts because the changes feel good. Sometimes it's just that no single moment ever felt like the moment to act.

I still get labs done, mostly to know if something else is driving it, not because I plan to act on the numbers. Checking and correcting aren't the same decision.

[Dudewithboobs]

I can definitely agree with that. Like anything I feel it comes with a miles may vary approach. For me, I didn’t like what was happening. I wrote it off as fatigue or stress for the way I felt emotionally and mentally. Just calm and foggy and relaxed and more passive. 
By the time the physical changes showed up it had been a couple years of feeling that way. And then again wrote it off as stress and exhaustion from why I had no libido or why I couldn’t perform ever and diet why my chest was getting fuller contrary to not gaining weight. 

By the time I went to the dr it was similar shoulder shrug “you’re not taking medication or supplements so keep an eye on it and see if it continues and we can do labs” 

At that time my shirts felt weird and chest felt soft so it getting worse didn’t really hit me until it got to a point they were moving during basic activity. 

Fast forward to today they’ve grown to a full b small c cup and times I’d have labs it came back hypogonadism and others it came back with imbalance but not hypogonadism listed so my np was convinced it was correcting. But it hasn’t. With therapy’s and medications tried it is what it is. 

I don’t think I’ve ever felt “good” by it. But I do feel better. And I think that was the jist of it. Men with longer exposed imbalance tend to acclimate to the changes experienced and feel better by them then when they felt all pent up and easily irritated or aggressive or other things high testosterone comes with. 

As much as I’d like my breasts to not grow more. I can’t fathom taking medication to boost my T in anyway. I take ashwaghanda and stinging nettle to help and feel it has. But it’s more for working out recovery than boosting hormones. I just feel a lot better about myself and in my head with where my hormones may be and have been.