Author Topic: Finally saved up the money, help advise please  (Read 2405 times)

Offline NewPatient

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Hi everyone, I'm new here and looking for advice. I'm 30 and have had gyno since mid-20s due to a hormone imbalance which is now corrected. Before that I had a normal life until 24 or 25. Now I've become very reclusive, can't date, dropped out of school and work for myself. My life sucks all because of this problem.

I'm exceedingly self-conscious because well ... I'm actually skinny and in shape otherwise. I've been 6'0 and 165 since I was in high school. Maybe I'm up to 170 in the last year but that's about it. I don't mean to distinguish myself from overweight guys, hey we all have the same problem here. But it's really almost impossible for me to hide and live a normal life. I can't pass it off as just being overweight. Who the heck expects to see a skinny guy with breasts?

For many years now I didn't have the money for surgery, it was a dream. Finally I've saved up enough and want to get this done. I'm ... (is scared the right word?) to have such a major surgery done since I've never had one. But I'm also scared of it failing. I've been suicidal for several years now and it's taken a lot of time to reach the point where I can have this surgery, I'd be spending most of my net worth to have it done. I can't imagine going through with this and being disappointed with the results, or it being a failure and the doctor saying I have to do it all over again (when I obviously don't have the money to go back two or three times). I feel like If I'm going to spend $6,000 or $7,000 or whatever it costs, it should just be done right once.  :/

If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it. What's the outlook? How easy is to find a (good!!) surgeon? And schedule a consultation, have the surgery, etc.? Thank you for your help.

 

Offline Paa_Paw

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I will soon be 78.  Good reliable surgery did not exist when I was younger.  I did not get married until I reached the age of 35, but there were a variety of reasons and my Gynecomastia was one of the least..

My youngest daughter was born in 79 when I was 42.  At the age of 14 months, she needed heart surgery so there went my last chance at surgery for myself. Oddly, It really made no difference in my life.  At my age, having Gynecomastia is really a non-issue. 

It ultimately did not have any influence on my sex life. I am the Father of eight, Grandfather of 27,  and yes there are a number of great grandchildren too.  The condition can be a bit embarrassing at times, but that is the worst of it.  Oddly, The breast enlargement gives rise to some erotic feelings which I would rather not lose. 
Grandpa Dan

Offline NewPatient

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That's great you were happy with your life situation Paa_Paw, and I would be the first to agree that everyone's situation will be unique and personal, but with all due respect this is not something I am happy with at all. It's not something I am looking to make peace with. I lived a normal life, dated attractive nice girls. Had a high degree of self-confidence. But for the last several years I've become a recluse, rarely venturing out into the world only in ill-fitting clothing. My only goal is to have the surgery and live a normal, healthy adult life.

Offline Alchemist

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Hi Newpatient,

Good luck.  I'm also one of those old guys with no good options and had to come to terms with having D-DD breasts. 

Something to keep in mind, being a recluse, and dressing in "ill-fitting clothing" on the rare occasion of going out was your response to a situation that was not a physical health problem. Part of my response was custom fit suits that had the lapel fitting and shaped properly despite D or DD breasts.  Gynecomastia, at over 50% incidence in a lifetime is normal and not generally a sign of ill health or a suicide inspiring incident.  You had a hormone problem you said and it is now corrected.  Have you discussed depression with any of your doctors?  That could also be a result of hormonal or biochemical irregularities.  Are you going to be able to sign an informed consent form that cautions you of the variability of results? Will you sign the form agreeing to mediation in the case of lack of satisfaction?  Nobody can guarantee what your results will be.

I have worked in group health most of my life.  Have realistic expectations and you will enjoy your outcome better.  I have worked with a lot of people who have become home confined by health and have acquired a social phobia by virtue of behaving that way for some years and in some situations was a neuro-psychological occurrence that was part of their illness.  Many have a difficult time re-entering society after recovering their health sufficiently partly because of acquired habits.

I've been suicidal for several years now and it's taken a lot of time to reach the point where I can have this surgery, I'd be spending most of my net worth to have it done. I can't imagine going through with this and being disappointed with the results, or it being a failure and the doctor saying I have to do it all over again

This is troubling.  It may be possible that no surgeon can deliver what you want. 

If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it. What's the outlook?

Nobody here can express any opinion at all on your "outlook" because you give no information such as pictures and breast size.  From the way you are speaking they sound like they would have to be hugely outstanding, like anti-gravity H-cups that stick out six inches or something.

With your previous statements you have set yourself up for problems.  For all we know it may be impossible for the outcome you want so desperately to occur or perhaps your odds are good.  You need to look at a lot of before and after pictures of guys with similar situations as yours and have a good idea whether what you see would be satisfying to you or not. 


Understand that your results may not be able to realistically live up to your desperately desired results.  You need to be ready for a compromise between your hopes and reality.  I don't know your breast situation.  To become an ill clothed recluse is not usually an indication of gynecomastia.  It seems rather self punishing.

I'm not a doctor or psychologist.  I spent decades in the group health business and sometimes was involved in researching lack of satisfaction complaints.  The group of consultants I worked with worked for the plan trustees for the benefit of the plan members.  We were on the patients side to get them up to the standards treatment.  However, satisfaction isn't always possible.

So ask the doctor you choose what his or her rate of satisfaction is.  Look for the absolutely best doc you can find,  before and after pictures that give you an idea of the quality of work and know realistically that revisions are often needed and I don't know the stats.  Also, I would advise letting the doc know how invested you are and your suicidal feelings.  Be fair, a doc needs to know the score. 

And to be realistic, there is ordinary "unsatisfied" and occasionally there is "disastrous" with the unfortunate patient wishing they had never come within a mile of a surgeon.

So how about posting some pictures the doctors can look at and we can look at and people can then give some genuine opinions.  I spent decades with wrong diagnoses and treatment and chronic illness.  I know the devastation of disappoint in a highly hoped for treatment that doesn't work, over and over.  When the time comes and you have become educated on the matter, pick the best surgeon you can find and be prepared for a range of possible outcomes.  Best of luck.





Offline Bobby - LAgyne

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Hi everyone, I'm new here and looking for advice. I'm 30 and have had gyno since mid-20s due to a hormone imbalance which is now corrected. Before that I had a normal life until 24 or 25. Now I've become very reclusive, can't date, dropped out of school and work for myself. My life sucks all because of this problem.

I'm exceedingly self-conscious because well ... I'm actually skinny and in shape otherwise. I've been 6'0 and 165 since I was in high school. Maybe I'm up to 170 in the last year but that's about it. I don't mean to distinguish myself from overweight guys, hey we all have the same problem here. But it's really almost impossible for me to hide and live a normal life. I can't pass it off as just being overweight. Who the heck expects to see a skinny guy with breasts?

For many years now I didn't have the money for surgery, it was a dream. Finally I've saved up enough and want to get this done. I'm ... (is scared the right word?) to have such a major surgery done since I've never had one. But I'm also scared of it failing. I've been suicidal for several years now and it's taken a lot of time to reach the point where I can have this surgery, I'd be spending most of my net worth to have it done. I can't imagine going through with this and being disappointed with the results, or it being a failure and the doctor saying I have to do it all over again (when I obviously don't have the money to go back two or three times). I feel like If I'm going to spend $6,000 or $7,000 or whatever it costs, it should just be done right once.  :/

If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it. What's the outlook? How easy is to find a (good!!) surgeon? And schedule a consultation, have the surgery, etc.? Thank you for your help.

 


I hear you man!  I have suffered myself too and at one point decided that enough is enough!  Please read My Story with the link below and I hope it helps you with your journey!

I believe you're doing the right thing by be determined to have this surgery done once and right that first time!  I believe it is possible if you choose the right surgeon. 

As far as surgeon recommendations, where do you live? In US?

Is your gyne stabilized for at least 2 yeas now? 

Good luck!
---Bobby

Offline nasa3

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  • kill this thing and skip rope with its intestines
1  either go to Elliot Jacobs in New York or my doctor Neil Fine in Chicago. Both are absolutely at the top levels of their professions and will do whatever is necessary to fix this problem

2. You are one hundred per cent correct not to want to make peace with this miserable fucking condition...it is all out war to the death...if you have already thought about suicide then there should be no fear of this operation...kill it and skip rope with its intestines which leads to

3. In any war there are setbacks and lost battled IT DOES NOT MEAN THE WAR IS LOST if this surgery is not perfect don't give up go back until it is... It took me eleven years between surgeries to finalize this and not for one day did I say I QUIT because I knew there was a final solution out there, I just had to have things come together some by my effort and some fortuitously

4. NEVER QUIT


We are all here for you and for each other in all brotherly love we are combatants members of the same cursed army with the capacity to free ourselves of this evil that has overtaken us and ruined so much of our lives...have the will and the fortitude and don't give up
Bilateral liposuction 5/20/02 FINAL SURGERY 1-13-15 DR NEIL FINE CHICAGO NORTHWESTERN MEMORIAL


 

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