This is my first post. Feels very strange coming here. But I have been suffering with gyne since i was young (12ish) and i am now in my early 20s. I really feel a need to do something about it; it rules (plagues) my life. Every moment i live and breathe it seems to affect me in some way or another.
From the moment I wake to the moment my head hits the pillow it is my most consuming thought. I feel a lot of resentment at the moment towards people, because I have such an overwhelming need to have surgery due to my discomfort within society. I wish I could just feel comfortable like this, walk around with my shirt off and not know people are thinking I am some sort of a freak. At the same time I am a realist and aware that the world isn’t that nicer a place. There are also people in much worse situations than I, but at the same time everyone’s worries are relative to their own lives and we cope with them in different ways.
The thought of having surgery is very scary, but in a way I see it as my only escape. At the same time I have read some of the horror stories and potential problems, which also concerns me. If I could click my fingers and everything would be ok in a months time that would be great. The prospect of the surgery potentially not helping frightens me.
This year is very important to me. I have just finished university and I think that surgery could help my confidence greatly. I am tired of doing my best to conceal my physical and emotional problems. I want to wear clothes I want to, not what my body dictates. I want to go swimming on a hot summers day. I want to lay next to my partner naked. I want to be able to go to a social event without continually doing my best to cover my chest, either with my arms crossed or holding a drink in front of it. And most importantly I want to be able to look into the mirror and feel even a little bit happy with the way I look.
Having read you stories some of the similarities in terms of how you react or try to cover up your gyne are so scarily similar, it is sort of comforting knowing there are others out there.
Anyway, just thought I would say hello. And you may be hearing from me a bit more (if you can bear it)
