I am depressed.

[Cornholio]

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for coming across as a soppy git, but as I have no-one else to talk to about my gyno problems. I tried to (several years ago) speak to my closest friend about it once and was laughed at, so I won't be trying that again. So I guess this is my only outlet.

Anyway, I had some surgery done about 19 months ago, it didn't go well, so I had a follow up in December on only one side (despite asking for both) and basically, my chest looks like s**t now. (avoid kliniek beaucare in Belgium at all costs.)

I don't know what to do about it. I am broke, I have debt, I have no self confidence, I have tried to change things by hitting the gym, but nothing helps. I haven't ever really had a girlfriend, yeah I've been laid a few times but I am so unhappy with myself as a human being that I can't allow myself to try for anything more for fear of ridicule and rejection.

I try be up beat most of the time, I have some great friends now who mean the world to me (but I won't tell them about this problem I have) and I feel like life is good most of the time. But then, I see myself in the mirror and how horrible my chest looks and I just want to curl up and die. The thought has crossed my mind a lot over the last couple of years, and over the last couple of days that thought has popped back into my head.

I guess, I just wish I could be normal, accepted like everyone else and have a chance at actually starting a real relationship and maybe moving on with my life. I am 25 years old for f*** sakes!

Anyway, again I must apologise for being so negative. I just don't really know what to do about it all and I don't have anyone to turn to for help. Thank you.

[xelnaga13]

Sounds to me like you need a positive shake up in your life. No one is going to knock on your door and hand you an improved quality of life. You have to augment yourself to create the changes you want in your environment.

I was in similar despair about a year and a half ago. I experienced one two many defeats in a short period of time. I had lost my stamina to rally and fight back, and slowly slipped into a dark hole. At my worst I never left my apartment, except at night to get another bottle of vodka for the next day. One morning I awoke are 3am. Several weeks of booze had finally cleared my system enough to give me a paralyzing hangover. I can't remember exactly was the seed was, but my internal dialogue started to say " This is not how my story ends". It came from deep down in my brain... probably from a place that remembered the good times and how much life has to offer.

That was the last drink I ever had. Changing my life afterwords was one of the most difficult experiences I ever had. However, it wasnt long before my environment started to change for the better.

Dont self sabotage by assuming you're undesirable. Even the hunch back of notre dame went out and socialized. Burlap sack and all. Just the other day I saw a girl on a dating site that had some rare genetic disease, dramatically effecting her appearance. You have to ask yourself why someone will step into the ring knowing they might be destroyed. Find that part of yourself and fight back.

[McGilli]

You know - there are millions of guys saying the same thing as you, and millions of girls too. All different ages. All sitting at home feeling sorry for themselves. And believing they will never have a better life.

I've done it many times in my life.

I don't know what your chest looks like. Or what the rest of your body looks like. But let me tell you something.

half of the 'normal' people I meet are a-holes. Looking normal is useless if you're not a decent person.

You seem like you are able to open up. Sure maybe it;s online but you know - I bet most of the guys on here - including me - only ever really told the truth here online and not to our friends or family.

Some people would never even open up to other people on line.

What I'm saying is as a person, you're already ahead of half the normal people I meet every day.

You're unique. Work with it.

[cduub]

I understand your pain all to well,im in the process now to get this situation taken care of and to get my life back on track,dont give up man and keep your head up.

[HellandBack]

I feel all your pain. Staying to myself because of foolish people and there judgmental minds is irritating to socialize with. I know I'll get out of this though. Got no true words for you since i am in a dark hole myself but i know there's gotta be a light so I'll keep the fight alive, lifes too short and that is what bugs me take care

[nycguy]

I'm 35 years old and had it rough all my life due to primary hygo. Find a therapist you can afford because the internet cannot give you the attention you need to move forward.

Until your chest heals, etc don't take your shirt off. No one is forcing you and you don't have to.

Learning, at 26 years old, I had primary hygo and gyne., helped me understand allot of things. I suffered from severe depression, small testes, below / average penis, etc. However, finding the courage to talk to a trained therapist helped me have a voice through so much pain.

You can also apply for Medicaid which is free or low cost health insurance from the federal government.

I know it's difficult but you have to reach out to people who can help you now. We can only provide the resources but you have to follow through and make those resources help you. Good luck.