I just need to talk about it, advice and coping strategies required

[zink]

hi guys,

I've been reading on here for a while for advice etc and decided to sign up and talk about it.


I'm 19 and from the UK. I've had gynecomastia for at least 6 years, possibly longer it's just hard to remember. It's just something I've had to live with. My family think I hate swimming... fact is I love swimming.

I feel like I'm in some kind of secret society that no-one ever talks about, the stigma involved with the condition means I've never spoken to anyone about it except for doctors a couple times.

I'm certain my case is not as bad as some people's and not necessarily so noticeable to others. I notice it though on a daily basis and am always conscious of it. It affects my self esteem, my posture, what clothes I wear. Sometimes I get very depressed about it.

The lack of available information about the condition is shocking. Some thing I've read say it's just a puberty thing and will only last a year (yeah right). One doctor told me it would go away when I was 21, another said he had no idea if it would go away at all.

The NHS in the UK class surgery as cosmetic and are unlikely to offer it (and it depends where you live), while drugs aren't prescribed for it. I went to see a doctor today and he said all he could do was offer a blood test but I didn't ask for it because he said if I have no other hormonal problems then the test will probably show nothing.

I find the idea of surgery too scary.

I have no one to talk to about it.

I have no idea if it will ever go away... or maybe it will go away tomorrow?

Me and girls has never got far enough for it to become an issue if you know what I mean.

Basically, I'm scared shitless. I don't want to still be living with this when I'm 50. Or when I'm 20. Or even tomorrow. What black market dodgy salesman to I have to go to in order to actually get some treatment or some reliable information.

[gabbyhey]

Well looks like you've come to the right place.  Starting to talk about it is by far the hardest thing to do.  It took me almost 10 years before I said anything about it to anyone.  Now I just had surgery and things are going well.  I'm recovering well, and the daily stress is just about gone.  There is no black market fix for this.  Nobody has ever heard of pills helping.  I think that you'll find that talking about gynecomastia on these boards with other members will help you cope.  It may even help you be less afraid of surgery.  If you are against surgery, and you feel that you just need to accept this problem, visit the acceptance board.  I also urge you to find other members from the U.K. on here.  They may be able to give you advice on NHS and other policies over there.  Good luck, and welcome.

[Hypo-is-here]

zink,

I can help you here, not with words but facts.


A) You have to act tough when going to see your gp to get a result- so adopt a new attitude and make another appointment.

B) Say that the condition is gynecomastia and it concerns you and that you will accept nothing less than a referral to an endocrinologist who can evaluate your hormones and a referral to a plastic surgeon with a view to evaluating your gynecomastia.

C) If he refuses tell him that you will report him for not correctly referring you given your concerns.  At the same time walk out of the prats office and go and register with another gp surgery.  Gps are ten a penny and you can side step any gp.


You can get your hormones evaluated without doubt and if you do have any significant gynecomastia then you can get at the very least an evaluation by a plastic surgeon.

Some hospitals try and limit gynecomastia procedures by forcing patients through psychological evaluations in order to get surgery- they are usually deliberately intended to stop all but the extreme end of the spectrum patients getting surgery.  Even if you were referred to such a hospital you could simply go back to your gp and get a referral to another hospital- and one that would not insist on such.

I know all this because I went through the NHS.  I was forced through a psychological assessment and was told my gynecomastia did not effect me enough to meet the surgery criteria.  That was despite the fact that I found the condition very psychologically debilitating.  The pathetic assessment was conducted in the space of half an hour.  Half an hour to evaluate someone’s psychological state was of course nothing short of a pathetic paint by numbers cheapo psychological claptrap.  I did not let it affect me at all.  I just got myself referred to another hospital and went through the whole process again.  At the second hospital the consultant breast surgeon said it was ridiculous that I should have had to go through what I did.  She said the gynecomastia was obvious and I had the surgery.

My surgeon referred to my gynecomastia as being extensive diffuse glandular gynecomastia- the op took 3 hours and was successful, I am much happier now.

You can get there too if you have gynecomastia.  The road is not always easy, which is why you need to toughen up so you can get to the end point.

You can make it with support from this site!!!!

[mephistopholes]

"Some hospitals try and limit gynecomastia procedures by forcing patients through psychological evaluations in order to get surgery- they are usually deliberately intended to stop all but the extreme end of the spectrum patients getting surgery."

Hmmmm..... Is that in U.K. or U.S?  It's interesting that some hospitals do that.  However, it does seem to make sense on some levels.  Surgery is not a small issue.

[zink]

thank you for the replies, especially Hypo-is-here that's really encouraging.

I definitely felt like I was trying to be tough when I last went to the GP and he did offer me a blood test, I felt like I should have taken the offer but he said they probably wouldn't find anything because I had no other problems and I just felt deflated.  I wanted to ask more questions but the bloke was just trying to get me out of his office.

I'm going to try to get hyped up to go back and try to get a bit further.

Thanks guys.