im just gonna type this out because itll be the only time i say this to anyone and i havent said anything about it in 3 years. i got lumps under my nipples in the summer before 8th grade. i didnt think much of it at first and thought they would go away with time. i probably didnt tell my parents because i was embarrased. the first time i got teased about them was by my brother not to long after, so i made sure he or anyone else saw them again. ever since then i always wore a shirt. wether i was just walking around the house or working out in 100 degree weather outside. i play football, work out, and have and overall good body. im tall muscular. and have hardly any fat on me. i would love to be able to show what my hard work in the weight room has accomplished but because of these 2 lumps my body is utterly unattractive. this has affected everything in my social life. my confidence is gone, im horrible with girls and cant think about making a move, how i walk, my motions, every fucking move i make is determined by my gyne. during offseason we lift weights in skin tight dry fit shirts and it would always get noticed and mentioned to me and others by some not a nice person who has no idea what i go through. unfortuneately for me, all my friends are assholes so they wont refrain in the slightest from mentioning it to everyone, even to girls. if i ever go to some party or just a hangout where people go swimming i wait until im the last one out of the pool to get in, and then when im in, i have to stay in and keep my nipples below the water so no one will see. but it never fails. whenever i get out of the water someone will say something. my torso is gostly white from havent seeing the sun in 3 years. i cant wear any remotely tight clothes and will wear hoodies in the spring. i have to walk sideways into the wind. running is strictly prohibited. when i go to the lake with friends i have to wear a life jacket the whole time, even on land. all these things that i do are questioned by my friends and i always make up some bullshit excuse. when someone makes a comment, it may mean nothing to them, but it tears away at me. for three years ive thought about how little ive been able to live my life. i can only imagine how different i would be, how much better my life would be if i didnt have them. my doctor told me to wait 2 more years. well darn him. im not throwing away 5 years of my life to this.
