Telling your girlfriend/family member.

[yumyumfood]

What is a good way to approach the topic? Any suggestions. Obviously, it's difficult thing to just bring up.

[Grandpa Bambu]

If you would like to express your feelings to your GF or a family member, sit down and write a short letter to the person. Writing a note/letter will allow you to express your feelings/concerns about your Gynecomastia without the stress of a face to face confrontation... You can take your time and sort out what you want to say, pressure free...

It's a great 'Ice Breaker'... Once the person 'knows' of your situation, it will more than likely be less stressful for you to discuss with them...

Just a suggestion...

GB...

[yumyumfood]

Thanks. That's an interesting/good suggestion. My issue with my girlfriend is that I live with her and it feels like it might be kind of odd to approach it that way. Not that she wouldn't be understanding. I'm sure she already has an idea of it, anyway. I've never been able to talk to anyone about it, but I've often considered it. I've had other girlfriends, and even lived with a few. I've just never known how to bring it up as something that bothers me or something that I've considered correcting. I guess part of it could be pride? I don't want to appear whiney while calling attention to it. Part of me feels like I may be even more uncomfortable once she (or anyone I decided to tell) knows that it's something that bothers me. Like I'll need special attention for it, or something. On the other hand, I deal with these bouts of depression that are sometimes directly associated with gynecomastia, and I feel that there are times when significant others take it personally. Like I'm unhappy with them or the relationship.

I'm just not sure where to begin trying to correct it/finance it without support, but every time I get close to finally dealing with it I just push it to the back of my head as far as I can. It never turns out to be too far back.

[Grandpa Bambu]

Do you feel you 'need' to discuss it with your GF? I had been married 15 years before I discussed the 'Curse' with my wife, and that was only because I had surgery... Kinda had to at that point in time...    She was very supportive!

In fact, I never discussed it with anyone until I had surgery... My wife was in the loop (obvioulsy), a few family members and a couple of buddies at work... Couldn't bring myself to tell mom and dad though...  

If you don't want to discuss it with your GF at this point in time, then don't... If you decide to have surgery, then, like me, you'll have no choice but to fess-up...  

You have feeling of embarrassment and shame. You feel less of a man... you don't feel worthy of your GF's love... Any of this ring true? Dude, trust me, if your GF really loves you, she'll do anything in her power to help you through this ordeal. She'll actually love you more for confiding in her...

Are you presently employed?

GB...  

[thetodd]

Well i was ok with that being single at the time, but regarding family member i just told my mum straight out. Listen im having plastic surgery ive got the money but im going to need help from you. And i said listen i dont know if youve noticed ive always stood with a hunch always work black tops i want to get rid of my man boobs

now she laughed at this point (nervously), but this is just an extreme form of anxiety my mum isnt insensitive at all. Expect this to happen this is probally going to be the weirdest conversation youve ever had! And what came of it? She and my dad helped me all the way and i can hand on heart say i wouldnt have been able to do it without her.

Personally ive always preffered things face to face i think writing letters is a bit melodramatic for me i coudlnt do it. At the end of the day its really not a life altering thing gyne surgery. You get the 4 grand you have day surgery you recover!

Thats it! No-one has to know who you dont want to know and you can start enjoying life. Its good to be scared now and again just tell her and expect weird reactions because plastic surgery (esp gyne) is defiantley a bit of a taboo subject

Good Luck commin outta the gyne closet

[dave2009]

Must just be me, but i told most people, people at work, family, friends, anyone who wanted to know really that i was having and had surgery! i was forever moaning about my moobs quite openly, didn't feel any less of a man.

my family were concerned about the surgery but knew i was serious as to put myself through it!

personally, i don't think it's a big deal, if it was a penis extension or testicular problem, think i'd keep that to myself but not this!

may be because i'm a psychiatric nurse and deal with intimate things daily, but really have no problem with anyone knowing!

people generally just think the result is cool and say well done for having it done if it bothered me, which it did, period!

don't worry guys, there are far worse things!

take care all.

[Grandpa Bambu]

Awesome posts...

GB...

[Sharky]

I am off to see the surgeon tomorrow and hope to say goodbye to the problem by the end of the month. My worry is how to tell my mum post operation. I am 51 and this has been The Elephant In The Room since I was in single figures. Easy to play the blame game - why didn't my parents do something when I was younger? I now have low testosterone and am being looked at for Kleinfelter's Syndrome. There is little point in looking for a scapegoat, I am very fortunate in that I have an understanding and empathetic wife and I would have just hidden from the problem for years to come had it not been for her help and support (and persuasion). The surgery is the easy part - explaining to those who notice a change is the real challenge.

[Grandpa Bambu]

The surgery is the easy part - explaining to those who notice a change is the real challenge.

For anyone who asks, just tell them the truth dude... It's easier than you may think... 

GB...

[surpera1]

my experience with women - they tend to be understanding for the most part - believe it or not - there are worse things in life that could happen to you - it used to really bother me - and i do intend to have a surgical correction - but dont let it stop you from having girlfriends

[Paa_Paw]

GB is on the mark. As usual---

There are two kinds of people. Those who do not deserve an answer at all and those who deserve to hear the truth. Sorting them out can be a chore sometimes so being honest all the time is actually the easy way out. It may seem odd at first, but it is actually not hard at all.

[Eric Robertson]

The surgery is the easy part - explaining to those who notice a change is the real challenge.

For anyone who asks, just tell them the truth dude... It's easier than you may think... 

GB...

Nicely put, Grandpa.

[Sharky]

I worry that my mother who is 72, will blame herself. There were lots of opportunities in young life for me to be diagnosed with Kleinfelter's - starting with an undescended testiicle when I was 15 or so - to questions about infertility. It really was the elephant in the room.

[Eric Robertson]

I'm sorry man.

-Eric

[Sharky]

Eric
Thanks - I tried today but bottled it - will post when I get the courage to tell her.....