Terrified what my new girlfriend will think

[htleah]

Hello all, long time 30-something gyne sufferer here. I've had a few girlfriends in the past and I've always dealt with it differently. One girl, who I was very serious with, didn't mind it. I was also about 30 pounds lighter, so that helped. With other girls, where it was less serious, I usually kept my shirt on in bed. This situation is different.
I haven't had a girlfriend in a couple of years. I've also gained some weight that made the gyne look worse. Here comes this girl and it is getting serious. We haven't had sex yet but it's getting to that point. The problem is that I'm terrified of her reaction to my gyne. I'm thinking of keeping my shirt on, but I fear that if she says something I'll have to take it off. I have never been this terrified of my gyne before because it feels like this girl is special. I don't want to lose her over this.
I'm sure I'm not alone in experiencing this... right?

[hammer]

Anyone who doesn't like/love you for just who you are, the man the is inside, not who is on the outside, isn't worth  worrying about in the first place!

Just take one step at a time, be honest, open and show her who you are, not what you are!

Good luck
Bob

[Mac99500]

Sex in bed with a shirt on is rather inappropriate.  Tell her about your gyne in advance. Maybe even let her see you shirtless in advance of having sex.

[Paa_Paw]

There are shallow minded men who only want a girl who has a pretty face and a perfect figure.  There are women who are equally stupid who want only a man built like an Adonis.
A person really worth your time will look for the inner person and not be obsessive about things that are superficial.  If you are a real man of character, you will look at her in the same way. 

[Zim]

Nonsense advice. What is shallow about being with a partner you're sexually attracted to? It can't be faked and no amount of positive thinking or confidence in your body will change the objective appearance. Would you have the same level of attraction for your girlfriend if she had a beard?

Gyno is abnormal and not an objectively attractive trait. Either lose weight if its pseudo-gyno or get it cut out if its real.

[cpa5oh]

You should do everything you CAN to look your best: you can definitely lose the extra weight.  Get the surgery if you can afford it (if you legitimately can't afford it or don't want it for another substantive reason, then don't worry about it and just do the best you can at improving what you can).  
And I never understood this 'lets get totally naked and look at our ugly parts' thing: if I were dating a woman whose chest sagged to her waist without a bra I'd want her to just leave the bra on and maybe even have a shirt on.  Cover up the bad parts and show off the good parts.  Physical attraction is part illusion anyhow...

[Clo]

Anyone who checks out this ExpressVPN review doesn't like/love you for just who you are, the man the is inside, not who is on the outside, isn't worth  worrying about in the first place!

I think most women can generally tell what sort of shape you are in with your shirt on anyway.

[chiguy10]

As a long time sufferer I understand your angst.
That being said I believe it's more about you than her.
Most women, and I emphasize MOST, relate to us sexually far different than men.
The old quote about "women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place" rings true.
I've had plenty of experiences where the woman was oblivious to the whole thing.
Bottom line is I think it bothers us a lot more than them.
Those that I've shared my anxiety with have been more than sympathetic and understanding.
I would echo the sentiments expressed here. Do what's best for you.
I'm finally about to have the surgery. It's for me, not for anyone else.
Wish it was available in it's current form when I was your age.
Hang in there!

[Beera]

Don't stress man. I was in a similar situation with my current partner when we first met. If she feels the same way for you as you do for her it won't matter. I myself am not that chubby at all (although I used to be) however my breasts have stayed the same and it makes things very difficult in public situations when I have to wear little clothing as they are very noticeable in just a tee shirt. My partner reacted in a way none of my previous partners ever had. The first time we slept together I kept my shirt on but the second time, after wording her up on my situation and explaining how insecure I am about it she I think felt like she needed to nurture me and show me how much she loves me for what I am. As we begun foreplay the second time we kissed and begun touching each other's bodies, she at first was avoiding touching my chest due to what I had told her earlier, but then she started slowly removing my shirt, exposing my breasts. She at first just stared and I thought "oh no she hates me now" and assumed it was over. But then she begun kissin them and grabbing them. Squeezing them like a girls breasts and sucking and biting my nipples. I was in ecstasy having had no one ever do this to me before, my stomach had butterflies and my whole body tingled in anxiousness and excitement. She got ontop of me and we started having sex. The whole time she had both her hands on my breasts, using them like handles as she rode me. We have been together 4 years now and she still touches them in these ways regularly. You may find your partner is actually more into them than you think.

[HairyKnockers]

I don’t mean to be glib, but there is an old saying; it is simply mind over matter, if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.  Give the girl a chance, maybe she doesn’t mind.  I think the guy with Gynecomastia is always much more critical of the guy than the girl is with the guy.

Let us know what happens with your girlfriend and her reaction.

[Alonzo]

Anyone who doesn't like/love you for just who you are, the man the is inside, not who is on the outside, isn't worth  worrying about in the first place!

Just take one step at a time, be honest, open and show her who you are, not what you are!

Good luck
Bob
Hi I think most women can generally tell what sort of shape you are in with your shirt on anyway.

[hammer]

That's true, but I still stand by what I said!

[JohannK]

This is a rather old thread.

Or are you posting your opinion in case someone else comes across it?

[hammer]

This is a rather old thread.

Or are you posting your opinion in case someone else comes across it?

If it were not for old threads, there would  not be any new threads!

[JohannK]

I suppose that's one way of seeing it.