Gynecomastia Support Forum

General => Gynecomastia Talk => Topic started by: AndreLarson on March 31, 2022, 08:09:30 AM

Title: How to stay confident
Post by: AndreLarson on March 31, 2022, 08:09:30 AM
Hi guys, after suffering from this, i must admit that my self-confidence is much lower. Do you have any ideas to overcome it and gain confidence back again? Any advice will surely be appreciated!
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 31, 2022, 11:28:02 AM
It is important to remember that gynecomastia is not something we've chosen.  Whether we're dealing with a condition exacerbated by medicines we're taking or a hormonal stew we've lived with our whole lives, it is our response that matters most.  Since most of us have ideas of what it means to be a man, we're most likely unhappy being in this situation.  There can be confusion, embarrassment, even shame about how we look.  It is good to inform ourselves about the condition and this is a fine place to do that.  To come to self-confidence we need to release shame.  That won't necessarily liberate us from the judgment of others, though many of us have come to understand the condition of our chest isn't a concern for most of the people we encounter in life, unless, of course, we're intent on flaunting our endowment.  What matters most is what is between our ears.  Can we accept the condition of our lives?  Some will choose to have surgery in an attempt to look "normal."  Many of us have concluded that the expense and the uncertainty of outcome is not something we want to accept... it is better to accept our bodies as they are and then to care for ourselves as best we can.  You are definitely not alone with any of this.  Spending time with men dealing with a hormonal stew that includes higher levels of estrogen is a relief.  Welcome to the club no one wanted to join but is happy to find.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Orb on March 31, 2022, 03:53:52 PM
Well said 42C 

Thanks for taking the time to convey the thoughts and sentiments of us all so well.

Acceptance starts and ends with our selves.  The rest just flows.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: tryingtoaccept on May 12, 2022, 09:31:36 AM
Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: OnlyGodKnowsWhy on May 12, 2022, 10:43:47 PM
The way I see it and have treated it, I've been me all the way up until I discovered that I had gyno. I started wearing a bra and loved being supported. I wear a C-D cup btw. Thats when u became self conscious. It took me about 6 months of being scared to notice the only one aware was myself. Everyone I had grown with never noticed any change. The biggest impact is with ones self. Most all of the people around us never notice the change and growth 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: gotgyne on May 13, 2022, 11:06:22 AM
Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.
With an A/small B cup you should not be embarrassed. I have a B to C cup depending on the bra and even go swimming topless. I never got any negative reactions.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Rich meier on May 13, 2022, 11:36:36 AM
Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.
With an A/small B cup you should not be embarrassed. I have a B to C cup depending on the bra and even go swimming topless. I never got any negative reactions.
same here I always go topless and as you said nobody said anything although I can imagine what they were thimking. One time my step daughter did tell my wife that my boobs were as big as hers and I am 46c
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Confused old man on May 13, 2022, 12:24:46 PM
I stay confident because I don’t care what people think anymore. Can see my bra?..don’t care!...high beams showing through...don’t care....looking at my boobs instead of looking me in the eye?...don’t care...I’m just tired of trying to hide the fact that I have boobs. It got exhausting. So that fact is I have boobs, they stick out, yes I wear a bra for comfort. So if they don’t like it....don’t look!!!..and if they want to make a smart a** comment about it. They better be prepared to back it up!
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Busted (and happy) on May 14, 2022, 01:28:21 AM
My sentiments entirely. 
Well said
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: SideSet on May 14, 2022, 11:55:16 PM
What did your wife say when her daughter compared her own boobs to yours? Did either of them say you anything about you wearing a bra?
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Rich meier on May 15, 2022, 01:50:34 PM
only wife knows. wife did say one time that I needed a bra. then another time i was complaining about them being sore so she said gat a bra
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: SideSet on May 25, 2022, 02:44:12 PM
Good that your wife understands your need to wear a bra.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: blad on May 26, 2022, 03:44:44 AM
Walk softly and wear a big bra.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Dudewithboobs on May 26, 2022, 08:05:16 AM
Well said 42c and KnowsWhy I’d agree. Similarly it took me months to gain the courage to go to work while wearing a bra. Sadly work is the least active place I am. But it let me see what direct contact with people may or may not see, behave, glance etc. only once did I have a co worker come by my desk and pat me on the back where mt strap was and felt she did it to confirm what she may see but again may have just been a pat on the back. She’s very open and vocal when it’s just us and I’d assume she’d a mentioned it. 
Acceptance and confidence comes with time. For me it isn’t a looking down and seeing my chest and going well this sucks but whatever. It’s a progression of acceptance and self appreciation. It’s trial and errors of what works for you. 
My best advice cause it’s what worked for me is if you are self conscious or lacking confidence with it. Challenge yourself to going places and wearing what you want to wear and just letting it be out there. You’ll notice quickly unless you’re a D cup or so more than not no one notices or glances etc. braless or in a bra. I believe self confidence is hand in hand with self awareness and when you become aware that your self isn’t being seen as you see or worry about by others you’ll develop a bit of a F it attitude and just enjoy what ya got instead of worrying 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 26, 2022, 10:07:56 AM
My best advice cause it’s what worked for me is if you are self conscious or lacking confidence with it. Challenge yourself to going places and wearing what you want to wear and just letting it be out there. You’ll notice quickly unless you’re a D cup or so more than not no one notices or glances etc. braless or in a bra. I believe self confidence is hand in hand with self awareness and when you become aware that your self isn’t being seen as you see or worry about by others you’ll develop a bit of a F it attitude and just enjoy what ya got instead of worrying
Yes, yes, and yes!

I had to adopt the "F it" attitude early on. It was the only thing I could do. I  did attempt the camouflage method at first. I would wear loose, baggy clothing or multiple layers to try hiding my bra. Warmer months were brutal! Eventually they layers came off and most would not confront me about it. Men never would unless they were making a point to single me out as a teen which how they delt with there own insecurities. Depending on the situation, if a woman would ask, it was either out of pure curiosity or she was gathering information for gossip which would also be for her to feel better about herself so she could avoid dealing with her own issues. 

When I was approached about my bra, it was some variation of "are you wearing a bra?" or "why are you wearing a bra?". It was usually a woman so I would  reply "yes, I am, aren't you? I wear one to support my breasts. Don't you?". This is wear my "F-it" attitude was born.

I became more and more open about wearing a bra. No more layers, loose, baggy clothing. I began even wearing ladies button down blouses and slacks and jeans. 

I only have one body and since puberty has had a feminine figure. I make no excuses or apologies for being me. I have made a few "changes" that have corrected a "birth defect" but, very proud of  who I am today.

Just be you and be proud of who you are. 

Your sister, 
Sophie 🥰🤗
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Rich meier on May 26, 2022, 01:54:35 PM
well said
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: tryingtoaccept on June 10, 2022, 11:55:38 AM
Acceptance for me is still an ongoing battle.  I really think mine are a combination of both fat and true gyne, but that is a story for another day.  It still makes me anxious when I am in a social setting and having a shirt that is being clingy but it is bothering me less as time goes on.

I have said all of that to set the stage.  I have learned and keep reminding myself that people will judge you regardless.  I also keep reminding myself that most people do not even notice.  I have experimented with going in public; in an area nobody would no me.  I purposely wore a tight t-shirt and watched peoples faces.  I saw most people that looked at me was just looking as they passed.  None of them gave a judgmental look or even gave me a second glance.  That experiment and coming here and reading other peoples stories has shown me that nobody cares.

It is still an ongoing battle but I now totally understand the anxiety is all in my head.  Stay strong and know you are not alone and try your own experiments to prove to yourself that the anxiety is in your mind and reality is that nobody really cares.  The few people that do care have no idea who you are and will probably never see you again.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: SideSet on June 11, 2022, 02:00:24 PM
tryingtoaccept,

You and your wife might wish to talk about you trying a bra just around the house. 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: tryingtoaccept on June 11, 2022, 09:56:41 PM
My wife has never said anything about me getting a bra and I don’t know how she would react.  I am nervous about bringing it up, if they get bigger and she doesn’t say anything then I will have to bring it up.  The thought of having that conversation is embarrassing to me but I know it will have to be discussed at some point.  That point may have to be sooner than later.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: oldguy on June 12, 2022, 12:48:50 AM
My wife has never said anything about me getting a bra and I don’t know how she would react.  I am nervous about bringing it up, if they get bigger and she doesn’t say anything then I will have to bring it up.  The thought of having that conversation is embarrassing to me but I know it will have to be discussed at some point.  That point may have to be sooner than later.
I had pain in left breast, around 7 years ago.  I had a mammogram.  I was diagnosed with gynecomastia.  The PA was a woman and recommended that I wear a bra for support.  She wrote a note to my wife of her recommendation.  That is all it took.  Now I have the same pain in my right.  Mammogram was scheduled for May and now in July, due to the backlog from covid.  I know it's embarrassing to fill out all the pink sheets that ask about your last menstrual and stuff, in a room full of women.  And having it done isn't fun either.  They really squish them.  It's just a few hours and then you know about your breasts.  A note from doctor can really help your wife understand.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Evolver on June 12, 2022, 06:49:24 AM
Acceptance for me is still an ongoing battle.  I really think mine are a combination of both fat and true gyne, but that is a story for another day.  It still makes me anxious when I am in a social setting and having a shirt that is being clingy but it is bothering me less as time goes on.

I have said all of that to set the stage.  I have learned and keep reminding myself that people will judge you regardless.  I also keep reminding myself that most people do not even notice.  I have experimented with going in public; in an area nobody would no me.  I purposely wore a tight t-shirt and watched peoples faces.  I saw most people that looked at me was just looking as they passed.  None of them gave a judgmental look or even gave me a second glance.  That experiment and coming here and reading other peoples stories has shown me that nobody cares.

It is still an ongoing battle but I now totally understand the anxiety is all in my head.  Stay strong and know you are not alone and try your own experiments to prove to yourself that the anxiety is in your mind and reality is that nobody really cares.  The few people that do care have no idea who you are and will probably never see you again.
You can also be judged in a good way but it is probably far less common. benusa recently told us about some negative experiences that he went through, no doubt due to the ignorance of those people who crossed his path. But, if I ever walked past a guy at the airport who was obviously wearing a bra because he obviously needed to, I'd like to say in passing, "I'm with you, brother." Such a comment would probably be intrusive but I know that if I was the recipient, it would be welcome.

Hopefully, one day, we will reach critical mass.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Piglet on September 15, 2022, 06:59:58 PM
Several things here ........
1) When I first developed my breasts, it was as a result of hospital drugs. A later visit to that hospital found me talking to a lady doctor about how surprised I was to find how the breasts swung about and moved from side to side when I was doing jobs. (I am a 42D and 50 years of age).  This doctor was one of these people to whom you could say anything, and she immediately understood all the implications and was very sympathetic. That was her great gift. She gently suggested to me and my wife that I used a bra. Straightaway I replied that surely bras were for women, but she countered that by saying "no, bras are for people with breasts" -and this from a health care professional. 
2) Concerning a wife's possible reaction; Just turn the whole thing on its head. Could you imagine how the balloon would go up if you started giving your wife orders about what she could and couldn't wear? So, what right has she got to dictate to you what you can or cannot put on your body. In fact, it's surprising just how quickly wives get used to the whole business of a man using a garment that's a bit different. 
4) It's been my experience that women are so endlessly interested in feminine accoutrements that when they find a man with whom they can have an intelligent and worthwhile discussion about clothes or make-up or similar feminine topics, they will value that man very much and seek out his company. Using a bra gives a man great insight into the many aspects of the whole business and it's been my experience that having that knowledge and understanding of how it all is for a woman makes you more desirable and valued in their eyes. 
5) In these days of supposed equality, I think it's very unfair that women in our culture can enjoy going through life looking and dressing just how they want, and nobody is ever supposed to make comment about it.  How would they like it if they had to have exactly the same unchanging hair style from the age of 2 months until the very end of their lives, and always be dressed in the same dark drab clothes every single day as we do. So much for equality, eh?  So given our daily experience I would say they don't have much right to dictate to us about making use of a small barely visible undergarment. 
5) Just using pure logic; If there's any hard or strenuous work to be done, it usually falls to the man of the house to do it. If both members of a household have breasts but only one of them ever does the more labour intensive jobs, then surely that one person is the one who is more in need of support. In other words, it could be argued that a man has more need of a bra because he is the one who does all the manual tasks.
6)  Regarding how people see and notice things, when I was a teenager, as teenagers often do, I experimented with having a moustache and a small beard.  It didn't amount to much and I soon tired of it. However, I decided to have a bit of fun. I shaved off one half of the beard and the opposite half of the moustache and left it like that to see if my parents noticed or made any comment.  To my astonishment they never noticed a thing!  Neither of 'em! As this shows, the vast majority of people go round with their eyes shut so don't be feeling that lots of people will be staring at you. They won't!  As well as that, consider how you react when you see something unusual. You don't make a big song and dance about it. You might glance and then you're neither bothered nor concerned, -especially if you don't know the person.
7) There's a programme on television called "Naked Attraction" and one of the features that comes out of this programme is just how many people, of all ages, are walking around with all sorts of piercings or surgical changes made to their bodies. There are any number of good folks who are transitioning from one gender to another. Guys who are thrilled at every little growth in their breasts as they make their journey to womanhood whilst girls who eagerly discuss gender re-assignment surgery and methods of mechanically achieving erections in their new penile anatomies. One couple they showed was a fella dressed in a skirt and blouse who was hoping to become a woman, and he was actually dating a girl with a man's hairstyle and dressed completely in a man's trousers and shirt, looking very masculine and transitioning to becoming a man. What I am saying is that compared to the enormous number of sexual variations and different varieties of people walking around out there and who are all experimenting with just about every variation you could think of, then in the great scheme of things, just wearing a bra to help with a natural enhancement is really just small potatoes. 
                                                                              Piglet.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: gotgyne on September 16, 2022, 07:38:42 AM
Several things here ........
1) When I first developed my breasts, it was as a result of hospital drugs. A later visit to that hospital found me talking to a lady doctor about how surprised I was to find how the breasts swung about and moved from side to side when I was doing jobs. (I am a 42D and 50 years of age).  This doctor was one of these people to whom you could say anything, and she immediately understood all the implications and was very sympathetic. That was her great gift. She gently suggested to me and my wife that I used a bra. Straightaway I replied that surely bras were for women, but she countered that by saying "no, bras are for people with breasts" -and this from a health care professional.
Hi Piglet,
my motto at the end of all my comments "A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts" is similar. In fact female doctors are more sympathetic if a patient has gynecomastia. My GP told me that my nipples can get very sensitive and not to worry about it. On the other hand a male dermatologist whom I consulted for a mole even denied that I had gyne despite of my 40C breasts.
You enlightened the topic of acceptance extensively. Yet there are wives/girlfriends who cannot accept that her husband/boyfriend is wearing a bra. I see a connection with the concept of masculinity. They may fear that such a man is not perceived in public as a man, they even may feel embarrassed to be seen with such a partner.

Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: tryingtoaccept on September 16, 2022, 12:09:38 PM
Gotgyne, I agree with you, especially your last sentence.  My wife says she doesn’t care if I have gyne or not. But I do worry that if they grow will she ever start subconsciously seeing me as less than a man.  I know I am overthinking it, but that thought has crossed my mind a few times.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: taxmapper on September 16, 2022, 01:55:36 PM
Mine hates my boobs. 

She looks at them and thinks... "I want a Viking AAArrnold" chest. 

Its a phycological aspect obviously, but each woman is different.   You have to go off of what you have. 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Piglet on September 16, 2022, 08:27:16 PM
Hello Taxmapper, Gotgyne and Tryingtoaccept;
Thank you for responding to my comments. I would like to add 2 more observations please ..........
1) If any male goes buying bras in a shop, then who is to know that they aren't doing it for some female partner or wife who is maybe too ill, or too busy or disabled, or otherwise somehow not able to go shopping for one their-selves. If that actually were the case, then such a man would find himself receiving a lot of sympathy and respect from any ladies who happened to be around, for being brave enough to go into a shop and do that thing.  I sometimes hold that thought in my mind when I am out shopping for bras, and when I first started, it certainly helped me to imagine myself as being in that very situation.  Having said that though, on every occasion I have shopped for bra's I have invariably found the staff to be friendly and supportive. I confess that it was much to my surprise that I found there were never any odd looks or staring or awkwardness or anything like that. I have said before, I rather got the impression that the shop assistants were seriously pleased to be dealing with a man for a change, -and a man who was demonstrating an intelligent and mature adult approach to the whole business.
2)  This business of ladies not being very happy about us wearing bra's........ Unfortunately, people sometimes demonstrate a dismaying knee jerk response to situations without really thinking things through. There has been one such example on the radio in recent days; Numbers of ladies were declaring themselves scandalised because a man had been chosen to be the C.E.O. of a firm supplying sanitary towels and related products.  
I'm sure you don't need me to say that the thrust of their anger was the fact that the person chosen was a male and 'what would a MAN know about such matters'?  However, to my way of thinking this was all rather silly. It didn't matter what the product was that was being sold. What the firm wanted was his managerial experience, knowledge and skills. His ability to lead the firm to greater productivity and profit, regardless of whether they were selling cars, cakes or computers. 
So, this business of equality does seem to me to be rather one-sided. In recent years we have seen ladies start doing innumerable jobs that up 'till now have been traditionally done by men. We see ladies driving buses or trains, going into politics or becoming C.E.O.'s themselves. In all of this I can honestly say I can't ever recall any one time when any man has ever complained and started declaring that he/we were not at all happy about what was happening. So, by the same token, I don't then think it's at all fair for any lady to start complaining when the man in her life says he wants to make new and unexpected additions to his wardrobe -especially when those new additions are for therapeutic purposes. It would be nice if some ladies could exhibit the same broad -minded acceptance that, it seems to me, we have exhibited when they started doing some of our jobs. 
                                  Piglet.

Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: tryingtoaccept on September 19, 2022, 01:32:05 PM
2 good observations Piglet.  People do often have the “knee jerk” reaction when they encounter a situation that differs from the norm.  I was lucky that my boobs didn’t really start to become noticeable until after I was out of high school.  So I was spared the humiliation of bullying that a lot of guys here had to endure.  I did have some grabbing and groping in college but it was minor compared to what a lot of guys went through.  After my flair up of anger at the grabbing and fondling it never happened again; but I did start taking extra steps to coverup more.  Sorry for my rambling but all that to say, stay strong, and try to keep the “I don’t care” attitude.  It will make you happier in the long haul.  I am getting better at accepting myself but it is a daily battle.  About a year ago I got a growth spurt so I will soon see a doctor to find out what is going on.  I have been loosing weight but they are still growing, my wife still says it’s probably just fat but I highly doubt it’s all fat.  Hopefully the doctor will refer me to an endocrinologist for further testing.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: gotgyne on September 19, 2022, 01:38:40 PM
2)  This business of ladies not being very happy about us wearing bra's........ Unfortunately, people sometimes demonstrate a dismaying knee jerk response to situations without really thinking things through. There has been one such example on the radio in recent days; Numbers of ladies were declaring themselves scandalised because a man had been chosen to be the C.E.O. of a firm supplying sanitary towels and related products. 
I'm sure you don't need me to say that the thrust of their anger was the fact that the person chosen was a male and 'what would a MAN know about such matters'?  However, to my way of thinking this was all rather silly. It didn't matter what the product was that was being sold. What the firm wanted was his managerial experience, knowledge and skills. His ability to lead the firm to greater productivity and profit, regardless of whether they were selling cars, cakes or computers.
So, this business of equality does seem to me to be rather one-sided. In recent years we have seen ladies start doing innumerable jobs that up 'till now have been traditionally done by men. We see ladies driving buses or trains, going into politics or becoming C.E.O.'s themselves. In all of this I can honestly say I can't ever recall any one time when any man has ever complained and started declaring that he/we were not at all happy about what was happening. So, by the same token, I don't then think it's at all fair for any lady to start complaining when the man in her life says he wants to make new and unexpected additions to his wardrobe -especially when those new additions are for therapeutic purposes. It would be nice if some ladies could exhibit the same broad -minded acceptance that, it seems to me, we have exhibited when they started doing some of our jobs.
                                  Piglet.
Piglet, I'm with you. Imagine, the founder of a well known company for mastectomy bras and breast forms in Germany, which sells in the U.S also, was a man. Till today the textile engineers of this company who create the bra patterns and designs are men and women. Another example in the opposite way: Our chimney sweep is a young woman. She is very professional and I like to talk with her. I don't have any problem with a male in traditionel female jobs and vice versa.
Added: In the former centuries all the stay (corset) makers were men, since it was very hard work. Thomas Paine, the most famous of them, author of "Common Sense" and "The American Crisis" was a master staymaker in his early life.
John
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Piglet on October 06, 2022, 04:25:51 PM
Hello again everybody;
A point of interest ...........I don't know how many of the contributors to this website live in England but for those of us who do there is a television channel which calls itself E4 and on Wednesday the 12th October at 10.0.0.in the evening they are set to broadcast a programme called "Send Nudes, Body S.O.S."   The write up on it says;  "Ronan feels his 'man boobs' hold him back from dating" so it looks as though they will be discussing Gynae.  Might be worth watching??
                                Piglet.  
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: gotgyne on October 18, 2022, 07:13:30 AM
Hi guys, after suffering from this, i must admit that my self-confidence is much lower. Do you have any ideas to overcome it and gain confidence back again? Any advice will surely be appreciated!
It's a pity that the thread starter "AndreLarson" seems to be no longer interested in this topic. This was his only posting. It would be helpful to learn if we could help him gaining confidence.
John
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Dudewithboobs on October 18, 2022, 09:01:05 AM
Agreed, my confidence has taken a hit time to time. Seems any time I adjust to my growth I grow a little more. And anytime I’ve taken a hit this forum has served well to accept embrace and enjoy my “flaw”. Be nice to see others be helped as much as we have been helped by this place instead of giving up or giving in to the insecurity it gives. 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: oldguy on October 18, 2022, 06:45:26 PM
Agreed, my confidence has taken a hit time to time. Seems any time I adjust to my growth I grow a little more. And anytime I’ve taken a hit this forum has served well to accept embrace and enjoy my “flaw”. Be nice to see others be helped as much as we have been helped by this place instead of giving up or giving in to the insecurity it gives.
I have always been confident thought my life.  This helped me to be successful in business and served on many boards.  I was fortunate that this challenge showed up after I retired.  And that is what I view it.  I don't consider it a flaw.  Just another challenge along with my knees, back and such.  As with all, I deal with them and keep going.  There are times when I gimp up to a green or when just walking down a hill.  And times when someone notices that I have breasts.  It's just me having fun and I'm doing just fine.  With winter coming, I will miss golf.  
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Piglet on March 09, 2023, 09:07:37 PM
As well as Gynecomastia I have a another, similar, unwanted aspect to my body which I have carried all my life and that is that I am very hard of hearing. You wouldn't believe how cruel and vulgar so-called sophisticated adults can be when they encounter this.                    All my life I have been on the receiving end of seriously nasty comments and unpleasant, hurtful jokes,  -to my face and in the company of others-,  very often from people who would appear to outsiders to be pillars of society, holding down important responsible jobs.                                                                                            With the constant exposure to this over the years I found I couldn't help but become indifferent because it taught me that people who behave that way are themselves vulgar and unsophisticated, whatever level they might be at in society. Therefore their opinions are worthless.                                                                          Also, it taught me that such comments and opinions can't actually hurt you. Yes, it might sting at the time and it sure makes you wonder why, mentally and emotionally, most people are still in the school playground, but they are just words. They won't actually do you any real harm.                                                                  When I try and work out just exactly why people want to be so hurtful it sure seems to me that the engine that drives their nastiness is the fact that you have been strong enough to successfully come to terms with something which they know they would have enormous difficulty accepting if they found it in theirselves. In other words, you cause them to realise they are weaker and smaller and less resilient than you, and they hate you for it.                                One other unexpected thing I found through the years is that all the nasty comments follow the same format! You find people saying the same thing over and over again, mistakenly imagining they are coming out with something original. I have had works colleagues furiously twirling their hands in my face in a parody of sign language in exactly the same way as the children around me used to do when I was in junior school! Astonishing to find a so-called adult exhibiting exactly the same behaviour as junior school children. So after a while you find you have heard it all before and it all gets rather boring.    All of what I have said here goes for wearing a bra too. What I would say is try and be strong and do what feels right for you, whether that's using a bra or using hearing aids. Yes, there will be awkward moments, but just accept that and ignore those around you who are not supportive.  You will emerge a better, stronger person for it. 
                                             Piglet.
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: Normal boobs1 on March 10, 2023, 02:05:30 AM
Well said Piglet and I am deeply sorry for what you have had to endure. Some who like to think of themselves as alpha males in fact only have the backbone of a jelly! Truth is they are just ar**holes. They usually are incapable of bring reasoned with as they would still only be half wits even if they found another brain cell somewhere. 
Keep strong. Plenty of support in this sake place. 
Title: Re: How to stay confident
Post by: blad on March 10, 2023, 11:30:04 AM
Typically, people try elevating themselves by trying to put down others instead of the hard work required to truly be elevated in society. 
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