Illusions?

[Justagirl💃]

Acceptance of self rids of us of the in acceptance of our old self. When I came to terms that I’m non binary it’s like all the pieces of the puzzle finally fit instead of me trying to force pieces where they didn’t belong. Once we learn to do that which can often take a life time it’s like our time of life has finally begun to be a happy one.

👍👍👍👍👍

[gotgyne]

Acceptance of ourselves is the first step. But only the acceptance of our wives or girlfriends gives a complete entity.

[Justagirl💃]

Acceptance of ourselves is the first step. But only the acceptance of our wives or girlfriends gives a complete entity.

That's something that my wife was unable to ever accept, and as my chest moved past the point of concealment she decided to move on. 

I came to this site in bib overalls, layers, and baggy shirts in boy-mode, and still unable to hide my assets. The wife had already moved on. 

Coming to terms with myself left the surprising reaction of friends and relatives of, "what took you so long?"
My stepdaughter has become my greatest supporter. 

Of course there is a balance that many here must maintain with their partners, and that can be a difficult task. 

[Dudewithboobs]

Agreed. The wife would probably never be on with my underwear drawer. Would be nice if she saw it the same as I saw it and that’s just underwear nothing more nothing less just underwear but unfortunately I feel it would be a moment of speculation and suspicion rather a “I don’t care it’s just underwear” 

[Johndoe1]

I recently was shown a photograph of my 11 year old self by a cousin. The picture had her mother and my father and me, shirtless in the summer time. I had never seen this photograph before. I never knew of its existence. As many of you know, I became aware of my chest being different from other boys at the age of 13. Clearly in this photo of my 11 year old self, in plain view were two definite puffy buds raised on two bougining mounds of fresh flesh on my chest. Had I been a girl, I would have already been in a training bra. I was shocked and speechless. My cousin turns to me and says, this is where your boobs came from. We have never discussed my chest in all the years but she knew and had proof in this photograph and wanted me to know. I am still in shock over this discovery. It has shaken me to my core. 

[Dudewithboobs]

May I ask why it shook you to the core? I’m so sorry for whatever caused it to be traumatic revelation in that moment but hope from the time that picture was taken to today those who have witnessed your development have been kind and not the opposite in pointing out the obvious signs of starting to ended up in regard to your breasts. 

[Johndoe1]

I do not remember ever seeing my chest exposed in a picture at that age. I was not aware of how it looked. It was not what I expected. It has caused me to rethink of myself at that age. 

[Dudewithboobs]

Totally understand and apologies if asking was prying and hope I didn’t offend in asking

[Johndoe1]

No offense taken. Still trying to process it. Obviously she knows and why she showed me. 

[TikTak]

I would like my wife to accept me as I am, after all, the physique does not depend on my will.
 
In this regard, I have not met with disappointment, I hope no one among us here.

For my part, I wouldn't want to burden my wife with showing up in a lacy bra, much less expect some kind of affirmation from her.
If one expects such an affirmation, I think it is too much.

It's a different matter when the bra is actually needed for practical reasons.
This is probably the case for some of us.
I don't know at what bust size it is impossible to function without a bra.
In my case, with a size 40C (GB) the potential benefit is negligible in the face of the dilemmas of whether someone will see or not, what a friend or colleague will say, etc. etc.

[Dudewithboobs]

This is exactly why contrary to feeling I need a bra now I don’t wear one around my wife. I am certain her position on the matter and last thing I want to do is burden her with the reality her husband is now wearing bras because he like herself has breasts. 
I do not wear bras with lace anywhere or colors that are feminine. I wear wireless and pullovers and any under wires I own hide well and all my bras have adjusters on the front. Say that to say everything I say with my bras are, I don’t want them to be noticed lol. It took me a year or so to be ok with walking down the hall or hardware store or whatever in a bra before I quit having anxiety. Last thing I want is my wife to inherit the insecurity of does anyone see what do they think what if my friends find out. 

We’d all like it to be accepted and for there to be trust and open communications with confidence of no blow back about this area. But we can only do what we can do in respect to those of what we do will do to them. 

[oldguy]

This is exactly why contrary to feeling I need a bra now I don’t wear one around my wife. I am certain her position on the matter and last thing I want to do is burden her with the reality her husband is now wearing bras because he like herself has breasts.
I do not wear bras with lace anywhere or colors that are feminine. I wear wireless and pullovers and any under wires I own hide well and all my bras have adjusters on the front. Say that to say everything I say with my bras are, I don’t want them to be noticed lol. It took me a year or so to be ok with walking down the hall or hardware store or whatever in a bra before I quit having anxiety. Last thing I want is my wife to inherit the insecurity of does anyone see what do they think what if my friends find out.

We’d all like it to be accepted and for there to be trust and open communications with confidence of no blow back about this area. But we can only do what we can do in respect to those of what we do will do to them.

I get it.  When my PA wrote a note to my wife that I needed support, she bought  life vests.  I have a set of sports bras and wireless bras.  I cut off the bows.  I don't need bows and lace.  Support works.  She is fine with these.  Every so often, she suggests which bra I should wear, with a top.  

[Evolver]

No offense taken. Still trying to process it. Obviously she knows and why she showed me.

It sounds like you have a close relationship with your cousin and that she cares about you. Difficult as it might seem to you at the moment, I think that by her showing you that photo, you now have a new ally. 

[Dudewithboobs]

Perhaps that was her intent. I feel many probably have no way on figuring out how to show us they care or understand. And maybe it was a specific picture to show you that in her way. 

[Johndoe1]

And she is the first extended family member to explicitly know that I am aware of.