Gynecomastia Support Forum

General => Gynecomastia Talk => Topic started by: My twins on November 16, 2021, 03:40:34 PM

Title: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: My twins on November 16, 2021, 03:40:34 PM
Does anyone else feel like a hypocrite when not wearing a bra outside the house? I wear mine all the time with the exception of work. I had to go to the ER on Sunday for kidney stones only to find out that l also have shingles.  The pain is almost unbearable even today. But when I showered to go to the ER l did not dress in clothing that I would normally wear, l dressed in all male clothes even my underwear. I just thought it would make things easier for everyone. 

But now I feel like a hypocrite for not just being me. I always wear my bra and really don't care about anyone seeing my bra. Now I don't make it obvious,  I wear layers to hide it somewhat. 

What do you think? 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Moobzie on November 16, 2021, 04:20:58 PM
Short answer:
NO.
When I go for med appts that require or may require torso examination (e.g., cardio, dermatology) I don't wear a bra.  lt's not hypocrisy, just common sense.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: SideSet on November 16, 2021, 06:23:56 PM
We are in limbo. We need to wear bras like women do, but don’t have acceptance like women do. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: taxmapper on November 16, 2021, 08:26:14 PM
I dont see why. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Traveler on November 16, 2021, 08:28:14 PM
I don’t think you’re a hypocrite, it’s more about that you’re feeling a little shame for needing a bra. 
Honestly, medical professionals have seen it all and know some men need a bra due to normal variations of the human body and couldn’t care less. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Moobzie on November 16, 2021, 11:27:33 PM
I agree with Traveler - all the medical staff who've examined me over the years KNOW I have fairly well developed breasts.  There have never been any negative reaction / comments from them.

I have no problem wearing a bra when there won't be any chest exam.  When there is, it's not only common sense but also medical convenience to not have my bra on.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: SideSet on November 17, 2021, 06:49:49 AM
I agree with Traveler - all the medical staff who've examined me over the years KNOW I have fairly well developed breasts.  There have never been any negative reaction / comments from them.

I have no problem wearing a bra when there won't be any chest exam.  When there is, it's not only common sense but also medical convenience to not have my bra on.
Moobzie, I can relate. Our breasts are obviously big enough that everyone knows. What is your bra size? 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Orb on November 17, 2021, 07:48:35 AM
We're a strange lot of men.  Trying to encourage those of us with a developed to accept our bodies and...live.  Comfortably and happily.  We discuss the need for a bra, the comfort of and how to deal with societal acceptance. 
  Wearing to a medical or social event or not is and always should be a personal choice.  To feel any type of guilt or sense of hypocrisy should never be a consideration.  We wear, or not, for comfort and peace of mind.  Not wearing in situations like that gives you piece of mind. Good for YOU!
  Smile on.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: brock123 on November 18, 2021, 12:13:54 AM
I mean, yeah, it's still a societal "bridge too far" for us men, yes?  All people (men/women) are naturally inclined to want to present their "best selves", doubly so if any nudity may be required for the situation.  I think what happens to us is the fear of being judged by other men, regardless of if they know/understand/don't care about our perceived physical appearances.  This is hard to anticipate.

IMO, males are best served by female doctors.  They are, by nature, more compassionate individuals than we tend to be, but are also more honest about and better judges of their opposite sex's feelings.  Male doctors will tend to lean into correcting the condition at whatever means necessary (typically surgery), but Female doctors will tend to guide you towards dealing with your feelings about how you see yourself and what you want out of your life going forward before making any judgement calls like surgery.

I cannot provide any true guidance here, but I can say that recently every time my spouse and I have intercourse, she tends to gravitate towards and fondle my chest a lot.  For me, it's pseudo and "doesn't do anything" erotic, but I am still happy that she thinks it is something I'd enjoy, and have come to believe that it's doing more for her than it is for me, so all good, right?
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: SideSet on November 18, 2021, 02:59:18 AM
She sees you have breasts like she does.  She sees you wear bras like she does. She knows what feels good with her breasts. She assumes it would feel good to you with your breasts.  She wants to give that to you.  She must be a good and loving partner to do that and be that way.  I doubt most women would. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: My twins on November 19, 2021, 09:07:32 PM
I think I  was over thinking the whole problem.  I do miss my old doctor that knew me and my problem so well.  He was the first one to suggest I wear a bra and I always wore one when seeing him for whatever reason I had to see a doctor. Plus like it was stated here healthcare provider have seen it all before.  I still at a full C cup think if l was just a little larger then folks who noticed would understand that l wear it because I need it. Thanks for your advise on this, this group is great!
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: bustymale on November 19, 2021, 10:01:15 PM
Anybody, woman or man, who is a C cup should wear a bra both for comfort and appearance. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Busted (and happy) on November 20, 2021, 09:56:12 AM
I would not wear when going for any medical appointment. I is not hypocritical.
The last thing you need in a medical consultation is any form of distraction for what ever reason. 
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: blad on November 20, 2021, 12:01:09 PM
Although we may have determined that our needs are best served by wearing a bra on a daily basis, we do not necessarily want to share that with the rest of the world just yet. 

In the presence of medical professionals is a middle ground.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: paulpark21 on January 17, 2022, 04:19:54 PM
Yes, I think it is hypocrital.  We wear because we have breasts. Breasts need support.  It's a medical issue.  When I went to the first doctor appointment wearing a bra, the doctor said nothing.

As far as friends and family is concerned, I wear in front of them. No one has said anything and I have never mentioned it. Do not flaunt wearing,and dress so the bra is not out there.  We do not have to tell all we meet that we wear a bra..
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on January 18, 2022, 02:08:00 PM
I honestly get a little tired of the repeated "should" comments and the suggestion that because we have breasts "just like a woman" we should care for them "just like a woman."  Yes, we have a hormonal stew that has resulted in development of breasts and as comments about women's clothing fitting better suggest, we often have womanly curves in hips, thighs and butt.  But none of that dictates how we "should" respond to these circumstances.  Granted, if heavy breasts are straining one's back it makes sense to find means of support and yes, brassieres can give that support.  If nipples are hypersensitive then covering them can be helpful and a brassiere is one way to do that.

All of that said... beyond any shoulds are every person's individual preferences.  Enjoying shopping for brassieres and wearing brassieres is simply that, whether we wear them full-time or occasionally.  There can be aesthetic appreciation, sexual appreciation and gender play involved.  There are no shoulds in any of that but it is all real.  The conversation here is quite constrained.  I understand the reason for that and am willing to play along.  Yes, acceptance is key but acceptance is not predicated on doing this one way.  Whether you wear a brassiere while visiting a doctor is simply a matter of personal preference.  Whether you prefer to wear a brassiere only at home is also a matter of personal preference.  If wearing a brassiere is part of your fantasy life, so be it.  It makes sense to simply allow life to be just as it is.  There is no need to shame ourselves over our hormonal stew and its impact on our bodies and personalities.  Shoulds never help.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: p.r.1974 on January 22, 2022, 09:41:42 PM
Evedryones milage varies has been the exception for my standared response to general statements not being helpful. If we cannot get past the understanding that everyones experience, acceptance level, and individually assigned need is unique, all we are doing is imposing our experiences on anohther person. Personal assessment and advice are most often bases with the context of the moment, and may not always be interpreted as intended, with the nature of communication. If one goes hunting for demons, they will often find what they are looking for. The semantics of vocabulary choice in explanations of the "usual" "X" could be taken as exactly that. Or taken an a percieved attack. Youre choice. Kid gloves for those too fragile to understand that milage varies, seems excessive.
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: Guywithgirls on January 24, 2022, 10:48:12 PM
I'm kind of the opposite. I'm more comfortable wearing a bra to support and shape my assets outside of the house. I feel more awkward wearing a bra at home than I do wearing one at work or when going to the grocery. I think its just with the super conservative way my wife was raised and this all being new grounds to her
Title: Re: Am l being a hypocrite or over thinking it?
Post by: bustymale on January 25, 2022, 07:11:39 AM
What has your wife said or done in relation to you having womanly breasts?
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