Author Topic: Told my mom finally  (Read 3508 times)

Offline GynRuinLife

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I know I mentioned about a year ago I was going to tell my mom about my gynecomastia. I chickened out of telling her and refused to accept that surgery was the only way to solve this. I spent several months working out and eating healthy. I managed to lose about 25 lb, so my weight is well within what it is supposed to be for my height.

While losing weight and being fit boosted my confidence and got the attention of my friends and family, I still had to wear compression under shirts. In the worst case, I'd use duct tape, although I tried to avoid this. My gynecomastia still hadn't gone away and now that the rest of me was 'fit', I just looked disproportionate without hiding my gynecomastia well.

I turned 20 a few months ago and I decided I'd had enough. I felt much more comfortable telling my mom about it than my dad. I decided to email her because I was worried I may break down if I talked to her in person. I explained all the 'weird' things I had done over the past few years, like wearing excessive clothes in the summer, avoiding swimming, the under armor shirts in my closet, etc. I explained to her how miserable gynecomastia had made me, and I'm not the person I was before because of it. I missed out on a lot of opportunities and a lot of good times that I'm sure everyone here can relate to.

When I got home from college that night, my mom and I had a very long talk. The hard part was over for me since I sent the email. I was calm and relaxed during our talk but my mom sobbed a lot. She said I should have came to her a VERY long time ago and felt terrible that I had gone through all of this without anybody knowing; and she told me everything I've done over the years made complete sense after reading the email. She always knew something wasn't quite right but never brought it up, although she did give me props for my secret keeping ability, but NEVER to do it again. I was surprised she was so understanding. I'm Asian American and my family isn't 'touchy feely', so it was a huge relief. I know it's terrible to think along these lines, but I always thought its easier for White people to come to their families about this type of thing. This is of course UNTRUE and I was wrong to think that way in the first place. It may have just been an excuse on my part for not having the guts to tell her.

Anyway, I'm hoping to take the next step: look up surgeons and schedule an appointment. I certainly won't put this off like I did telling my mom, it will be a million times easier. I haven't figured anything out as far as financing the procedure goes, but I'll worry about that later. I'm so glad this website exists, all this time, I felt like the people here were the only ones I can relate to and they will always be the ones I can relate to.

hammer

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Good for you on telling your mom, and good for her as well!

Good luck with moving forward!


Bob

Offline 46bboobs

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Its not easier for white people. I dont have much of a family.
From what I have seen, most Asian cultures are much closer families.

hammer

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Its not easier for white people. I dont have much of a family.
From what I have seen, most Asian cultures are much closer families.

Not sure if I would agree with you as far as accepting things like gyne, or any other differences. They are closer and supportive of families, as far as finances,  but less emotional and accepting. This my wife learned from working with a southeast Asian social service agency for many years.


 

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