Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: 42CSurprise! on March 15, 2022, 05:56:18 PM

Title: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 15, 2022, 05:56:18 PM
For many of us this journey began when we were adolescents who found ourselves with "fleshy" chests.  Of course, the journey could as easily happen following medical treatment, though those of us who began this journey as teens have had much more experience with the first two stages... shame and embarrassment.  Those were the years we were trying to figure out who we were and how best to navigate life.  How do we come to terms with BREASTS?

I'm aware that men who find themselves on this side of the website are often still coming to terms with the reality of having breasts.  I'm curious where you see yourself standing on that continuum from shame to whatever you're experiencing right now...shame/embarrassment/toleration/acceptance/appreciation/? (whatever follows for you).  Personally, I'm finding myself increasingly in appreciation.  I'm rather in awe of the fact of the breasts held in the brassiere I'm wearing at the moment... not so much that I want to proclaim them to the world, but I definitely admit to a fascination with these breasts and my appreciation of a sexy brassiere.  I'm not as well endowed as many of the men here but unlike some men I've read about, I'm not anxious to try something that might make my breasts larger.  Yes, I have done a bit of exploring, but in the same way I can't imagine pursuing surgery to remove my breasts, I'm not inclined to experiment with my body to become more buxom.  I'm certainly not inclined toward transitioning, though I understand how one could take that step.  We're all experiencing elevated estrogen which is the hormone responsible for feminine traits.  That we might want more of that doesn't seem beyond the realm of possibility but it would certainly complicate one's life to take that route.

Any thoughts on the matter?  This board has been as slow as molasses in January.  Perhaps we can get it moving again.  (https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/72x72/1f600.png)

Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: blad on March 15, 2022, 07:53:15 PM
My breasts grew at age 13, starting while I was still in grade 7. They seemed to develop overnight.

It was incredibly embarrassing. It was obvious everyone noticed as I was constantly asked "what my bra size was" or that "I needed a bra". And skins teams during gym class gave everyone a good look.

The constant comments of needing a bra created a curiosity to try one of my sister's bras on. I was instantly amazed at how well it fit. Further, I was some how enjoying seeing my breasts held in a bra and liked how it felt to wear one. In private, I was sort of accepting having breasts right away if I wore a bra. The reality of being at school kept me embarrassed in public during the remaining school years. I had to admit to myself that all those comments of needing a bra were in fact correct, but I felt unable to publicly agree with them. In a perfect world, I would have been fine with the idea of wearing a bra full time after trying one, if only it would have been seen as acceptable in school. 

In a way I was accepting of wearing a bra as soon as I saw how it felt to wear one and how it held my breasts nicely in place. From that point on I wanted to wear one full time and just be accepted as I was. I became more ok with having breasts if I could treat them as breasts and contain them in a bra and feel more in control and comfortable. Instead, in those early years, I had to go mostly braless and feel the constant reminder of their uncontrolled movement. So I was accepting on the inside but did not feel free to be accepting on the outside.

In university and beyond I no longer had the "you need a bra" comments and thus became less conscious of people looking at my boobs. But I still had that semi continuous dislike of being braless much of the time and always felt better when I wore one. As time went on I became less concerned about wearing a bra in public. The biggest turning point was having my wife become more supportive of me wearing one.

I am truly more satisfied once I began to wear a bra full time many years ago. There are very few situations when I feel at all aware that I am wearing a bra in public.

So, there is no big deal in having breasts if you can treat them properly by wearing a bra and if you are able to reprogram yourself not to be overly self conscious. It is really the school years that are the most difficult. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Johndoe1 on March 16, 2022, 07:29:35 AM
I know in my own case, I have been through all the mentioned stages. Starting breast development at 14, having breasts is all I know. Having the movement, weight and projection off my chest is all I know. I have had my breasts so long now, if they were removed, I wouldn't know how to react. I would definitely miss them. My breasts are now a part of who I am. I now understand why women are devastated when they have to have a mastectomy. That has not been always been the case though.

Certainly in the shame phase during my teen and college years, I would have given anything to have had a flat chest like the other boys who seemed to be dating girls rather easy. Very few girls were even interested in me and the ones who were only wanted to know about my breasts. Usually one date and they were satisfied. Which led to embarrassment knowing those girls were talking about me among themselves. Knowing men don't have breasts, it was something to hide. In those days I was a B or C cup and getting harder to hide my chest, even though I tried and tried. What made it harder was my breasts were fairly perky in those days as well. I have come across pictures where I am noticeably slumping to try and hide my chest to no avail. In my late 20's I began to yo-yo diet putting on weight to try and hide my chest. All this did was lead to more fat being deposited on my chest and hips. Not dissimilar to women when they put on weight, a byproduct of the elevated estrogen in my body. Fat that is still there to this day which is why I am a DD/DDD size, but without the perkiness. Eventually, I started to tolerate my chest since I had no choice. Later, I had a couple of bouts of boob rash under my breasts in my IMF. During one of those bouts I had also begun a supervised weight lose program. I spoke with the LNP assigned to me about what to do. After a lengthy conversation, she suggested I should consider wearing "chest support" to lift my breasts off my chest and to reduce movement to help reduce the chance of irritation that could cause a rash. At this point, I reluctantly began to accept my chest. I fought it for a little while longer, but after losing about 40 pounds, there was no reduction in breast size. Even after 100 pounds lost, my breast still remained the same size. I eventually bought a sports bra and found it was life changing during exercise. I started to treat my chest for what it is, glands and fat. After a short time, I started wearing a bra full time and that led me to a fitting. Which added additional confidence and comfort as well as appearance with a bra that fit me. The more I wore a bra, the more confidence I gained of my appearance.

I came to the realization that I couldn't hide my chest anymore than a woman can hide hers. I educated myself on bras and breasts and started to research tricks endowed women use to play down their chests with bras and tops and this led to a sympathetic appreciation and understanding of what women go through dealing with their breasts, good and bad, but that I, too, can appreciate and enjoy my breasts and not be ashamed. I have a much better understanding and appreciation and feeling for women due to my breasts because I was dealing with many of the same issues they were dealing with. It wasn't because they were women, it was because of having breasts. I completely understood. I have many of the same frustrations with my chest. I am sure some of that is due to the estrogen, and some is due to what you do when you accept your breasts that is similar to the same as women do with their own breasts.

But it has taken many years and many experiences to get to this point. I just came to the conclusion it was just easier to deal with my chest for what they are, breasts. And that has made all the difference for me.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 16, 2022, 09:44:50 AM
As I put together the list that became the title of this thread it didn't take me very long to find those particular words.  As you say John, those of us contending with fleshy chests that eventually turned into breasts, doubtless have many experiences with the first few words.  Honestly, tolerance, acceptance and appreciation have come late for me.  Of course, my breast development was modest compared with many of the men here, so I was able to live without rashes or pain and consequently without relying on a brassiere.  But I always wore shirts over either tee shirts or turtlenecks so my shape was hidden.  Because I have sensitivity to sunlight I always had an excuse for not going into a swimming pool or lying on a beach to get a tan.  But what I wanted was to hide my chest.  It was embarrassing.  I learned that when I was younger and did go swimming with friends, or at school when I had to shower after gym class.  I was a pudgy kid but weight gain was intermittent.  Sometimes my weight was normal but my chest was always fleshy, not flat.  I remember periods of strenuous exercise in weight rooms, always hoping my body would become more toned.  It never happened.

Weight has been a challenge most of my life.  I sometimes said "my body is the battleground and food the weapon of choice."  I understand now that I used food to self soothe and that all came from the sexual abuse I experienced as a boy.  It probably is no surprise that COVID kicked my butt and I gained weight.  I'd already noticed an increase in the size of my breasts but the weight gain exacerbated the matter.  I learned that weight gain and drinking alcohol can stimulate estrogen production which we all understand, contributes to breast development.  As my breasts grew so did my fascination with brassieres and it was that fascination that led eventually to finding this website.  Before that I'd explored online and found a few conversations about men wearing brassieres.  I've no doubt some of the men who visit this site were present for those conversations as well.  I was intrigued that men were reflecting on things that had been on my mind for years.  But it was joining the conversation here that really allowed me to move beyond the embarrassment to tolerance, acceptance and eventually appreciation.  I'm very grateful to the men here who are willing to talk about these things.  This really is the only life I'll have, so it makes sense that I find peace in being myself and expressing myself in an honest way.  As I've said before, the early experience of trauma has complicated the whole affair but so be it.  It is the entirety of my life experience that defines who I am at this moment.  This is who I am.

Thanks for commenting everyone.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Traveler on March 16, 2022, 06:29:27 PM
Yes! Thanks all for sharing. There is so much here that resonates with me and my experience and I’m sure it does for others too. Being open about the hard lessons we’ve learned on our own personal journeys can only lead to self acceptance and comfort your soul.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Confused old man on March 16, 2022, 06:33:38 PM
When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you, you have reached a dangerously awesome level of...FREEDOM!
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 17, 2022, 08:02:50 AM
Great thread. Thanks for starting and all the contributions.  I felt like I was reading about myself in many instances. 

I would add an earlier stage of being ignorant, oblivious or in denial.  And being shocked when a boy would give me a nipple twister; for a while I didn’t realize I was being singled out. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: blad on March 17, 2022, 11:42:51 AM
Great thread. Thanks for starting and all the contributions.  I felt like I was reading about myself in many instances.

I would add an earlier stage of being ignorant, oblivious or in denial.  And being shocked when a boy would give me a nipple twister; for a while I didn’t realize I was being singled out.
looking back, it is hard to remember clearly whether I noticed my breast development first, or if it was others pointing it out to me. It definitely became obvious in situations such as swimming or gym showers where comparisons of bodies are obvious.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 17, 2022, 03:36:55 PM
My denial and being unaware made for some awkward presentations.  I found this pic from my early teens.  See what I mean?  And see why I was always getting my nipples tweaked?
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 17, 2022, 03:50:47 PM
I can see why. I used to get mine tweaked too, still do on occasion. I like you have very proment nipples , always have had them like that. mine poke thru even with a bra and  a t shirt and still noticible even with a flannel shirt. I dont let it bother me.when I am in bed they still stick out even when covered with a blanket
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 17, 2022, 03:57:34 PM
My nipples were puffier then and my areolae more conical. See?
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 17, 2022, 04:09:21 PM
I started out like that too. as they grew the aerolas spread out and less puffy
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 17, 2022, 04:46:53 PM
Before I was aware of how my breasts looked in certain tops, I was pretty much always going around with my nipples poking through my tops.  And there were several boys who took that as an invitation to twist or pull them every chance they got.  The twisting hurt, but I noticed pulling didn't. 

I learned to be more aware of what I was wearing, but by then, it was too late, they knew about me, and would grope me whenever they saw me.  I tried to avoid them, but it was not always possible.  Finally, I gave up and just asked the boys who twisted to please just pull instead.

They thought that was hilarious I had asked to have my nipples pulled.  It was humiliating asking. But what choice did I have?

So, from then on, whenever I saw one of those boys, I made it a point to immediately ask him to please pull my nipples, because if I didn't ask quick enough I would get a twist hard enough to make me yelp and then still have to ask please pull on my nipples if I wanted to stop the assault on my tender nipples.  But by then my nipples would already be sore, so even pulling hurt my nipples, too, just less than being twisted.

Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Busty on March 17, 2022, 10:11:37 PM
I used to get felt up some in school, too. I hated it and would try to pull away.  But my nipples would always get hard, so no matter how much i protested, I got a reputation for liking it. Eventually, I gave up fighting it and just let them have their fun so it could be over more quickly. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Johndoe1 on March 17, 2022, 10:14:31 PM
I used to get felt up some in school, too. I hated it and would try to pull away.  But my nipples would always get hard, so no matter how much i protested, I got a reputation for liking it. Eventually, I gave up fighting it and just let them have their fun so it could be over more quickly.
I too was felt up in school a lot. It has even carried over into adulthood. Latest happening about 8 years ago at work by a woman.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 17, 2022, 10:42:23 PM
My wife likes to do that, but a course 2 can play that game
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 17, 2022, 11:50:44 PM
John and busty, sorry that happened to you. It is sexual harassment. When that happened to me in school, I wasn’t about to go tell on the boys to school administration.  I mean, no way was I going to go in and report that they were groping my breasts and nipples. 

I became very conscious of what I wore so as to try to minimize showing my breasts and nipples. I started to wear too-tight  undershirts under my shirts so as to try to flatten and minimize movement of my breasts. 

Such attempts to conceal and contain were only partially successful and then not at all successful.  One of my sexual harassers told me to stop wearing those tight undershirts under my shirts. When I again wore one the next day,  he gave me a quick rabbit punch to my breast that brought tears to my eyes, hurt for days, and caused a big purple then yellow bruise to spread from around my areola over a sizable area of my breast.

I stopped wearing undershirts all together and went back to unfettered jiggling, frequent nipping out, and freer access to my breasts and nipples.  But, the difference was that before I was oblivious, but now I was making a conscious decision, so very aware.

It made me feel embarrassed and ashamed, and the only thing that made it a little bit easier, was that I recognized that I had given in, was no longer fighting it or looking to find ways to solve my problem, and so was instead just resigned. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Johndoe1 on March 18, 2022, 06:03:04 AM
Thanks Sideset. Yes, it is sexual harassment or even sexual assault. I have had several women through the years think it was perfectly acceptable, uninvited, to slide their hands around and/or over my breasts or even cup them and give a little squeeze or a jiggle. I don't know what they are thinking. They would never tolerate that behavior themselves so I am not sure why they think I would?

And growing up, boys would be finding ways to touch my breasts. And even a couple of times after I reached adulthood.

But in private, in an intimate setting, it can be very pleasurable.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 18, 2022, 08:33:38 AM
I know this ALL too well. I went through it as a teen who wore a bra his last two years of high school (I wore a 36D when I graduated). I went through this as an adult male. There was no possibility of enough camouflage to hide my girls. I can tell you now, as a woman of transgender experience, policies and laws are in place for our protection, however, there are both men and women who cannot control themselves when it comes to their urges and obsession with boobs!

Like John, I truly enjoy the pleasures that come with appropriate touchin and affection in an intimate setting. It kinda makes the bad stuff worth having them.

your sister,
Sophie❤🤗🥰
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 18, 2022, 10:00:18 AM
I guess John and Sophie are in the ? territory from the title... suggesting that beyond appreciation there can be pleasure found in having breasts.  Perhaps it is a small compensation for a lifetime of confusion and discomfort, but it is a victory of sorts.  Instead of feeling shame one can have a partner who also accepts us... even finds pleasure in our breasts... the delightful play of intimacy.  This is one of the things that SideSet touched on in his thread I am my own girlfriend.  As a man not in an intimate relationship at the moment, the pleasure I derive from the breasts held in a well fitting brassiere is personal, not shared.  Perhaps that is why I started this thread and the title ends with the question mark.  There is more than appreciation... not so much that I want to transition to becoming a woman, as Sophie has done, but it has an erotic component... the thing not often talked about on the board.  I heard it described on a website devoted to transgender topics including crossdressing and transitioning as auto-eroticism... a fascination with one's own self, one's own body.  I quite marvel at the breasts filling the front of the turtleneck I'm wearing... one I've shown in a photo I posted on another thread.  Where did those voluptous breasts come from?  This is all in the question mark territory, so I'll leave it there.  I'm just noting that there is something beyond Appreciation that can be found on this journey.  (https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/72x72/1f60e.png)
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 18, 2022, 12:44:23 PM
to those that got there nipples twisted in school, did the boys do that to the girls too or just the boys that had breasts and big nipples. just wondering
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 18, 2022, 01:51:41 PM
No, in my case, they did not twist the girls’ nipples. I was very aware of that unfairness and felt singled out and alone.  Sometimes I used to think that it was because the girls all wore bras, and if I was wearing a bra, it would protect me.

Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 18, 2022, 02:10:25 PM
I am sure if they did that to the girls there would have been big trouble. they probably did you cayse they thiyght and knew they could get away with it
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 18, 2022, 03:07:05 PM
I agree they probably knew they couldn’t get away with that with the girls.  I also feel there were other factors, including attitudes of that time and things about me that made them think they could get away with it with me, and they were right.

I was always put on the skins team for PE, so day in and day out, the whole class was always seeing my bare breasts jiggling and bouncing and my nipples getting hard in the cold air.  And as it happened time and time again, I believe my feelings were morphing from shame and embarrassment to toleration and acceptance.  You can’t live in a daily state of shame and embarrassment; you have to find ways to tolerate and accept.


Sometimes I would stand topless in front of the mirror home alone and move like I did in PE, so I could see what everyone in class was seeing. As my nipples would become saluted on my pointy breasts,  sometimes I would joke to myself be careful you don’t poke somebody’s eye out with that.  Or I might think to myself how they must enjoy seeing my naked breasts jiggle and bounce.

  I did not enjoy being forced to put on a “titty show,” as I called it to myself.  But who was I going to complain to, the PE teacher? That would make it worse. The principal,  who would certainly side with the teacher?  So, over and over I put on my “titty shows,” and I just accepted that was the way it was.

As 42CSurprise!  correctly notes, I did come to appreciate having breasts, but over time, and as a more knowledgeable, personal pleasure as I described in my posts about being own girlfriend.

Looking back on it, though, I have also come to realize how submissive I was.  For example, I was told if I didn’t want my nipples twisted I had to ask for my nipples to be pulled, so I meekly asked. I was told to wear tops that my nipples would poke through, so I did.

It made an impression on me that, when I was deciding what to wear to school, I would now look in the mirror to make sure I was sufficiently  nipping out, whereas before, I had paid no attention. When  I now would see my nipples very much poking through a certain top, and while my instinct would be not to wear it,  I would instead consciously choose to wear it because I did not want to be hurt. 

On bad days when my nipples had been twisted, I would go home afterwards and look in the mirror and worry my nipples did not poke through my top enough and probably I should not wear that top again.  I would  soothe my nipples with my Lansinoh and wonder what I had done wrong. Should I have asked more  convincingly to have my nipples pulled. I would tell myself to do better tomorrow. 

Days when my nipples were pulled I would go home and look approvingly in the mirror at how noticeably I was nipping out.  I would then pull to see how it feels to pull on my nipples and I would begin to appreciate how they got harder and thicker and even a little longer from the attention.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was learning to become my own girlfriend.







Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 18, 2022, 03:19:16 PM
you are right about the principal and my guess the PE teacher was enjoying it and made you skins on purpose.niw a day that would be child abuse and wouldnt be put up with .It is a shame that it was allowed and probably encouraged.. I must confess that now I like playing with mine and pulling on them
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Rich meier on March 18, 2022, 03:45:51 PM
did you or any of the others that got twisted tell your parents what was going on. I used to get twisted but by people I know. my wife still foes on ocassion but that  ges both ways. when I was working , every once in awhile they would twist me or try
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Busty on March 18, 2022, 03:56:49 PM
Sideset, you were getting an education, although under duress, about how to present your breasts and how it feels to have them played with. 

Although I also had my nipples twisted, it was mild compared to what you experienced. I didn’t tell anybody. I thought telling would lead to more ridicule. Instead, while you were learning how to display your breasts and nipples, I was learning how to hide. Dark colors, thick materials are our friends 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 18, 2022, 07:23:55 PM
Yes, just like girls and women do, I also was learning how to accentuate my breasts. I found when I wore light colored thinner tops, I seemed to only get my nipples pulled and not twisted. I also paid attention to how size and style of tops drew attention to or tended to obscure my breasts and nipples and made sure to wear tops that emphasized my boobs, because again I noticed a correlation with tending more to play with than hurt my nipples. 

When I knew I would not be around my abusers, I used the knowledge I was gaining to wear tops that more camouflaged. 

I have to confess, that as Rich Meier noted, I also found it can feel pleasurable when someone nicely plays with your nipples.  Even though I was experiencing sexual harassment, sometimes I felt a tingling and pleasure.  That was very conflicting and confusing, but I tried to learn what I may have done that caused them to nicely treat my nipples and I tried to replicate and build on that as much as possible.  I figured if I had to let this happen to me, better it feel good as opposed to hurt.  And if I am being completely honest, there was a part of me that felt more empowered and not a victim when I could positively effect the interaction. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 19, 2022, 01:45:49 AM
I was thinking earlier today SideSet about the power girls have because of their breast development.  Granted, when a boy develops breasts it is unusual, a source of concern and even shame.  But even in the circumstances you describe it seems you found empowerment.  We have no idea what it was about for the boys who seemed to take pleasure in "pulling" your nipples.  I expect most of us had a fixation about women's breasts when we were young.  I know I took every opportunity to ogle the woman living next door who wore in the summertime shorts and a halter top that overflowed with voluptuous breasts.  Perhaps boys inhibited around girls felt they could take advantage of you and get their jollies.  These situations are so complicated simply by the fact that sexuality is such uncharted territory for adolescent boys and girls.  It is all experimentation and confusion.  That confusion is especially evident for boys with fleshy chests and budding breasts.

I'm sorry you received the attention you did.  All we can ever do is make the best of circumstances in which we find ourselves.  That is why finding acceptance is so important.  We've experienced enough confusion and shame to last a lifetime.  Now it is time to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion.  IF we find appreciation and pleasure along the way, all the better.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: blad on March 19, 2022, 01:53:12 AM
you are right about the principal and my guess the PE teacher was enjoying it and made you skins on purpose.niw a day that would be child abuse and wouldnt be put up with .It is a shame that it was allowed and probably encouraged.. I must confess that now I like playing with mine and pulling on them
I was on the skins team so often it was statistically impossible that it was random.

Clearly the gym instructors enjoyed the view.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Busty on March 19, 2022, 09:24:36 AM
Yes, a nice 40 minutes of naked boobs bouncing and jiggling, saluted nipples on perky young breasts. What male wouldn’t be mesmerized?
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 21, 2022, 11:20:51 AM
I got so that it became routine for me.  For PE, I would now just automatically strip off my top and play the games topless without hardly even thinking about it, no longer feeling ashamed.  I had already shown them my bare breasts and hard nipples so many times, what was one time more?  And I knew there would be countless times more I would go topless for the whole class.

Same with the boys who felt me up.  I had let them feel me up so many times, what difference if it went on and on?  As long as they didn't hurt me was all I cared now.  And once I showed them I was submissive, they never hurt me anymore.

Go along to get along.  I suspected there were girls who could relate to that approach, but I never talked about it with anyone.  Feels cathartic to share
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Busty on March 21, 2022, 12:44:29 PM
Sideset, if it is cathartic for you to share, I’ve for one, I’m glad to listen.

From what you have shared, it sounds like relatively quickly you clearly went from shame and embarrassment to toleration and acceptance.  Do you think at that point maybe a little appreciation, already?

You seem to have gotten an appreciation for how others were seeing and reacting to your breasts when you were wearing and doing different things.  Also seems that you had learned the lesson, maybe more quickly than the other girls in your class  that, while your breasts got you some unwanted attention, you also could use them to manipulate males to make your life easier for you. 

And 42CSurpise,  i think this is a great topic, thank you for starting it.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 21, 2022, 02:07:05 PM
I was what I consider to be lucky compared to others here.

I started wearing a bra full time when I was 16 years old. I was in high school. Surgery wasn't an option for me and going braless wasn't going to harm more than help. So, my mother and I  went to the school and explained my situation ( very uncomfortable for me at the time). But, it went well. I was excused from the mandatory PE requirement due to my situation.

I also did the zipper hoodie thing in high school. This helped hide my 34Cs and then even my 36Ds y my senior year. 

I still got the occasional groping . However, I was comfortable and I didn't get the constant jiggle and nipple chaffing, and my high beams were subdued with my bra.

🤗🥰

your sister,
Sophie
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 22, 2022, 11:11:02 AM
I was what I consider to be lucky compared to others here...

🤗🥰

your sister,
Sophie
Actually, you are inspiring Sophie.  You certainly are not alone in having had considerable breast growth during adolescence but you had an advocate in your mother that allowed you to find a healthy alternative to simply being shamed.  Going to school administrators would be mortifying I'm sure, but again, your mother was there making her case.  Who knows whether your decision eventually to transition became possible simply because you didn't lose yourself in shame over your breasts because your mother was accepting and supportive.  I'm certainly not suggesting that more of us would have chosen to transition, but as we know on this side of the website, acceptance is key and for most of us it took a great many years to find that.  I've no doubt there have been challenges on your journey, but it became clear at some point that the estrogen that had been feminizing your body your whole like warranted transitioning.  You're not alone in having a feminized body.  We witness over and over again on this board how significant those changes can be.  I'm glad you participate in these conversations.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Busty on March 27, 2022, 10:56:59 AM
The teenage years are challenging no matter what, but to be a boy growing breasts when all the other girls your age are developing breasts adds a whole new dimension.

I was teased mercilessly and felt up pretty routinely.  It never occurred to me to object or fight back and I never would have considered telling adults.  Although no adult ever copped a feel, several made comments.  You know, the you need to wear a bra comment that was so popular.  I never thought for a second an adult would look out, and more likely deride, me.

I just tried to avoid.  And when I could not avoid, I just cooperated.  
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 27, 2022, 12:59:37 PM
 Busty, what you describe sounds like getting past shame and embarrassment and reaching toleration and acceptance. Ever any appreciation? 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Puna on March 27, 2022, 07:46:33 PM
My simple answer is “yes” I’ve always been teased about my chest and constant comments especially from women that I needed a bra. Years later, they was right and it’s now it’s hard being braless. 
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: SideSet on March 28, 2022, 05:00:49 PM
It is a strange feeling to know all those people teasing you were right that you do need to wear a bra and now you like wearing a bra.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: 42CSurprise! on March 28, 2022, 06:37:35 PM
It is a strange feeling to know all those people teasing you were right that you do need to wear a bra and now you like wearing a bra.
Such is the minefield that is adolescence.  Every kid is trying to fit in, to be accepted by his peers.  Every difference is an opportunity for teasing and for generating shame.  It could be the color of your skin, the fact you have red hair and freckles, the fact you're overweight.  Cruelty abides on the playground and those chosen last when teams are being picked feel it.  Having fleshy chests is one such thing.  Telling a boy he needs to wear a brassiere is a cruel put down.

I'm very aware that while we can find retailers offering bras for men and articles about men with boobs, having them is not a cause for celebration.  You probably wouldn't consider it for your obituary... he had a great rack.  The best you can do is make peace with this reality.  That is what we're doing here, of course... finding acceptance and maybe a bit of fun with the topic even as we recall the painful moments of the past.  We still are an outlier group.  I doubt any of us is sitting at the bar chatting with all our guy friends about our latest bra purchase.  We reserve those discussions for the men hanging out here.  Its great we have one another.  But the jerks of the world are still prepared to rip us a new one... because we have breasts and like to wear brassieres.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Johndoe1 on March 29, 2022, 05:54:26 AM
I'm very aware that while we can find retailers offering bras for men and articles about men with boobs, having them is not a cause for celebration.  You probably wouldn't consider it for your obituary... he had a great rack.  The best you can do is make peace with this reality.  That is what we're doing here, of course... finding acceptance and maybe a bit of fun with the topic even as we recall the painful moments of the past.  We still are an outlier group.  I doubt any of us is sitting at the bar chatting with all our guy friends about our latest bra purchase.  We reserve those discussions for the men hanging out here.  Its great we have one another.  But the jerks of the world are still prepared to rip us a new one... because we have breasts and like to wear brassieres.
I have never discussed my breasts with any male friends. But I have discussed bra shopping with a wife or two in private. :D

Women get it. They are sympathetic to our plight because they have faced it too. They are constantly graded on their appearance and breasts figure large in that scrutiny. Women are very well aware of their breasts pros and cons. Many obsess over them. Whole outfits and looks are created and centered around the breasts. Breasts are the most defining feature of a woman. Many are experts in how to use them to secure what they want. They know the power of the breast. They aren't called boobs for nothing.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 29, 2022, 06:35:55 AM
Amen! I've lived on both sides. I may be alone here but I will lay this out anyway. When I first started wearing a bra as a teen, I was always so jealous that girls my age didn't try to hide the breasts that they were gifted. I didn't have to hide mine, I chose to in order to prevent un wanted attention and embarrassment. 

It was only about 10 years ago, I was able to start embracing having them instead of being embarrassed by them. I first gave up wearing my fleece vest every where, everyday. I started wearing clothing that fit. I started wearing ladies slacks and blouses over my bras and panties that I was already wearing . I did get some stares, glares and even a few comments mostly compliments with a rare rude comment. And.... of course a couple years ago I realized that I was actually a woman all along.

One thing that has stayed consistent and to my point. I've always judged my figure and compared it to women around me. Maybe it's something that exists in my subconscious that told me back then and to this day that I can't physically compare myself to men. 

When I transitioned at work, it was 100% positive. What it amounted to was " it's about time, girl". The girls I work with seem to have known all along what my destiny was. Women really do have most of the same conversations, questions and comments about their boobs and bras.

I was so fortunate to have found this forum as a man with gynecomastia and the fact that you have all been so understanding and accepting of me as a woman.
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: Evolver on March 29, 2022, 06:56:30 AM
Amen! I've lived on both sides. I may be alone here but I will lay this out anyway. When I first started wearing a bra as a teen, I was always so jealous that girls my age didn't try to hide the breasts that they were gifted. I didn't have to hide mine, I chose to in order to prevent un wanted attention and embarrassment.

It was only about 10 years ago, I was able to start embracing having them instead of being embarrassed by them. I first gave up wearing my fleece vest every where, everyday. I started wearing clothing that fit. I started wearing ladies slacks and blouses over my bras and panties that I was already wearing . I did get some stares, glares and even a few comments mostly compliments with a rare rude comment. And.... of course a couple years ago I realized that I was actually a woman all along.

One thing that has stayed consistent and to my point. I've always judged my figure and compared it to women around me. Maybe it's something that exists in my subconscious that told me back then and to this day that I can't physically compare myself to men.

When I transitioned at work, it was 100% positive. What it amounted to was " it's about time, girl". The girls I work with seem to have known all along what my destiny was. Women really do have most of the same conversations, questions and comments about their boobs and bras.

I was so fortunate to have found this forum as a man with gynecomastia and the fact that you have all been so understanding and accepting of me as a woman.
This is why we love you.

You are bringing us along for the ride, you keep reminding us to accept ourselves whatever our individual circumstances are, you demonstrate that others in day-to-day life are capable of acceptance too, and you understand that even if your journey is unique amongst us, we all have something in common. 

Deep respect. :-*
Title: Re: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 29, 2022, 08:03:54 AM
This is why we love you.

You are bringing us along for the ride, you keep reminding us to accept ourselves whatever our individual circumstances are, you demonstrate that others in day-to-day life are capable of acceptance too, and you understand that even if your journey is unique amongst us, we all have something in common.

Deep respect. :-*
That means so much to me. I am proud to be the first girl who used to be a boy with girls on the boys team. 

💋😍🥰❤
Sophie
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