Author Topic: Re: HELP my SON is ONLY 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Read 2777 times)

Offline phantom

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I am thinking back to when I was 8 years old (now 32) when the children at school picked on me for my 'breasts'.  I wasn't  overweight.

My parents didn't think there was a problem, so your son is lucky to have a great dad that takes his health so seriously.  However, you are clearly in a state of panic, dressing your child to hide 'the problem' and calling the doctor (in the UK you would be really reprimanded for calling a doctor out for this reason - it's not urgent or life threatening).  Please, please trust me when I say that this response is a little too hysterical.  If you son can see that it is such a frightening experience with you dashing around to mask his breasts, calling in the medical profession and thinking years ahead of how this is going to 'ruin' the rest of his life then all it serves to do is validate the problem way beyond what it really is.  This is not life threatening and needs to be fully understood before any rash decisions can be made.

I can tell that your love for your son for his mental and physical well-being is of paramount importance.  Whatever might be 'wrong' with your son cannot and will not be 'cured' this weekend.  What your son needs right now is the father he knows he can trust, as he probably has done for all 8 years of his life.

Firstly stay cool.  Real cool.  If you make this out to be the worst thing in the world, your son, who looks up to you will also see it that way.  Firstly reassure him that he is normal and healthy.  Believe me,  if your son had goofy teeth, a big or bent nose or ears that stuck out, he would get just as much teasing.  Just because gynaecomastia is often akin to physical femininity, people feel more uncomfortable with it - that it's less 'acceptable' by children compared to a big nose.  Really?  Try telling that to the kid thinking about killing himself because of the teasing he gets about his nose!

Fortunately today, gynaecomastia is recognised as a medical condition by most physicians.  Although around 40% of males have some degree of glandular tissue, only around 5% have significant amounts that often cause psychological problems such as depression and low self-esteem.

I am in no position to make any kind of diagnosis or hormonal assessment on your son.  If there is some kind of pathological, diet or hormonal issue, your doctor or endocrinologist is best suited to establish what exactly is going on and what, if any treatment is needed.

I would doubt surgery at this age would be indicated because it might be difficult to assess what may or may not happen during puberty.

All I know from my own experience is that my breast issue did not go away and I just dealt with it.  I am by no means a mild case as my breast area hangs over to form a slight fold over the abdomen.

I wish I had a dad that understood my situation, but at the time, society and the medical profession would just have ignored it.  Consequently I had to suffer all the stigma so many other guys before me have had to endure.

Initially, the best thing you can do for your son is to give him all the support HE needs.  Stop panicking and start spending time with your son and other children if you have any in a way that makes them appreciate all that there is to do and learn about life.  Between now and resolution of your son's possible gynaecomastia, I would say that getting on with life in a constructive way, helping your son to deal with any teasing.  Otherwise he could grow to really hate himself and I am sure that is the last thing you want.

As an adult I am blessed with a fantastic circle of friends who have been incredibly supportive.  And whilst I am going for surgery in the new year, I have not allowed my gynaecomastia affect my work or home life.

Male chest reduction WILL NOT add a layer of happiness to my life, it just serves to remove a layer of sadness.

So please, for you both for your son's sake and your own, play it down, take your time on this journey to make absolutely sure that everything you, your son and the medics do is in your son's best interest.

Best wishes.

Offline BR_Guy

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Don't get hopeless.
Your son may have gynecomastia, may not.
Since he's overweight, it could be only fat. Each person accumulate fat in different portions of their body, at different concentrations.
But, gynecomastia come from many causes.
Go see an endocrinologist. In your position I'll see more than one, to compare their opinions.

We can't tell you that your son have (or not) this or that.

Wait until you have doctors diagnosis.

Sorry if I don't help you much, but this is the best I can say.

Offline phantom

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Here is a good link regarding gynaecomastia and children.  But remember, you don't have a diagnosis yet.

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/body/mhe_gynaecomastia.html

Offline BR_Guy

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Great, phantom.
You said everything I wish, but could.

Offline Hypo-is-here

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Quote
Hi.  I just went to the website, Gynecomastia.org.  I read your story.  Today I typed "why do boys get breasts?"  in my keyword on aol.  I was amazed.  Listen, I am trying not to be in tears.  My son is 8 years old.  He has been going through this for going on 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is heavy as well.  Overweight for his age.  But I am almost 100% certain, when he looses the weight it will become MORE apparent.  I havent yet talked to my sons doctor.  Today when he was getting dressed I saw his chest.  My goodness, I did not know it had gotten that bad.  He has been the object of MUCH torture at school.  He has lost alot of self esteem.  He has HORRIBLELY low self esteem now.  I try to put on extra tee shirts to help him but that doesnt work. I could go on and on, but I am sure you know where I am going and want he has been through.  You see, he has always been ahead of the game in growth.  When he was 4 we went to the dentist and the dentist said he had the mouth and the growth in the teeth like a 6 year old.  So with the gynaecomastia he has devoloped it even younger than the adolescents.  If I dont do anything NOW about it, he will be MUCH BIGGER at the adolescent age.  He is being ridiculed so bad at school, I cant bare to keep seeing it happen!  I am calling the DOCTOR, TODAY....SATURDAY to see if I can come see her THIS MORNING!  They are open till 12.  If not today, DEFINATELY THIS WEEK!  Please, I cant beg you enough....please call me ASAP!  I dont know what she will say but  I am going to see what she can do and will say.  We are currently living in NC....and I dont know if there is a Dr in this area that handles that, but he is too young to miss alot of school.  I would like to take care of it, NOW.  But I GUESS the summertime is not to late either.  I just want my son to lead a happy life without feeling like dirt everyday coming home from school.  HE IS ONLY 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please please please please please please please please HELP! :-[


General doctors are notoriously poor at diagnosing conditions that are associated with this condition.

If your son really does have gynecomastia at his age then he should have it investigated by an endocrinologist.

If you want the contact details of endocrinologists (specialist doctors that deal with gynecomastia) in your area then just tell me what city and state you live in and I'll provide the info for you.
















PleaseHELPus

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Okay,first of all thank you for all your posts, and support.

I dont have a clue of where to start.  Phantom,  I dont recall mentioning his father.  I read over what I said and I dont recall mentioned his father, which is really another story.

Second of all, I did not by ANY MEANS ridicule my son in front of him about this.  I think my reation, typed out on this board, came out to make me look like a.....well NOT GOOD.  I would NEVER in a Zillion years times infinity make my son feel any less than the awesome son that he is! I just feel so HORRIBLE now, because of the first response after my initial posting...that I honesty cant even find the words to BACK UP....and RE STATE what I said up there.  I really honesty feel like what I said was not taken the right way.  I know who I am....but being that this is an interent message board medium I have come off to be a horrible parent running around hiding my son from the world.  JUST THE OPPOSITE.  I have only given my son a tee-shirt and he regular shirt to wear.  I havent went and banded him up.  NEVER.  I simply want to know about whats going on.  Who better to call than a doctor.  

So, with saying that, I am just going to leave it at that.  Thank you everyone for the kind words.  I will just look toward the hills from which cometh OUR help, and just take it from there.  

Misunderstood.
Again, thanks.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Gynecomastia in a boy that is in puberty is very common and usually harmless.  But in pre-puberty it is a condition which always deserves careful medical study.

Hypo is correct, you need to take the boy to an Endocrinologist.  
Grandpa Dan

Offline BR_Guy

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No doubt she need an appointment to a psychologist.
Not only to help her, but her son too.

Very strange posts...
???

Offline phantom

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Is it just me or has the initial post been deleted?  I am not the author of this thread, I just responded to it.

As for the 'father' question, my appologies.  I wrongly assumed the first post was written by some boy's father.  Is it the mother?

 

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