Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls

[sanjman]

Do any of you fellas have girlfriends what is it like?  How do they react to you with your shirt off?
I have never gone out on a date, never kissed a girl, just bascially hung out with girls, always afraid to get to intimate just because of my condition.  I mean lots of girls have liked me but it never happens, i cant do i, but i also have trouble getting close because i saw my parents go through a hell of divorce    
My chest is very similar to Simons pics, except fo  r my right nipple is a little pointy.
After all the laughing directed towards me and the humiliation when i was younger i still cant stand it.  I am turning 19 soon and just wanted let this out.
Last year when a girl a kinda like who im friends with saw me without my shirt off when we all went to the waterpark reacted be saying hey Sanj and smiling.
I dunno i guess she thought i had pecs lol
Anways enough whining i give you guys a lot of credit who have gone through the same shit i have and dont worry about things too much just enjoy life, go party have fun!
PS ANYBODY recommend a surgeon in Michigan and also is it cheaper to just get tissue removed instead of all taht liposuctuinon crap because thats all i need i think?

[mecca_00]

same situation ....but i would never have the confidence to go to a water park with gyno???
youre brave

[sanjman]

have u had the surgery?
Or do u try to work out or hide it?

[XStraightedgeX]

There have been times when i got intimate with a girl, but i've left my shirt on. They were tugging on it, and i just tried to divert there attention away. My girlfriend now has never said anything, but it's still like hell (in my head) without my shirt.

this kinda has to do with girls, but i noticed when i'm swimming which is very very rare. i always face the people straight on, so they can't see me from the side.  Does anyone else do this?

[mecca_00]

i really try to stay out of water....except to shower.  To many bad experiences, socially; therefore i'd never have the confidence to go swimming (i do alone iin my pool when nobody is home )   But regardless, unless you have a REALLY rare case of gyno, everybodys gonna notice if you've got breasts  :-/

[Arjun]

ive had girlfriends even with my gynecomastia. It didnt stop me. I never took my shirt off infront of them but ive done every little dirty trick in the man handbook

[Mike_83]

Not until recently had I started going out more.  Once I learned about the condition and was scheduled to go under the knife I had alot more confidence.  I told my girlfriend about the gyno before the surgery and she has been with me since.  Its something to have your gf feel your chest after the surgery and not have those damn boobs.  

I went to a waterpark when I was little before gyno but that was the last time, and the only other time I have gone swimming was either with a shirt on or when my family members threw me in the water (clothes chair and all).... They noticed the gyno and realized why I was not in but did not say anything.  Oh well, thats all in the past.  
Good luck guys with the ladies

[Darrion]

sanjman,
grrls are probably one of the hardest areas to deal with for our gyne, but almost invriably, they think much less of it that we do!  Especially if you're condition is about equal to Simon's, you will likely be surprised to know that they will almost certainly not eventhink that anything is out of the ordinary!  Plus, there are many little tricks that help along the way...  Hey, if you have the confidence to go the the water park, kissing a girl is easy.  they susually close their eyes anyways!  It's probably not that she *though* you had nice pecs... it's probably that you*do* have nice pecs, and she noticed, and wanted a piece of the boody LOL!  Seriously though, when it comes to girls, you've gotta give them a chance.  If a chick seems cool, with a level head on her shoulders, and your both interested, you gotta take the plunge my friend.  Don't worry, at this point, about big picutre things like divorce... you're getting ahead of  yourself.  Because of my self-confidence problems, I often took it slow with girls at first... inviting them to  malls or movies where I could wear the clothes I felt comfortable in without feeling too self-conscious.  By the time a few of these dates have gone by, you should have a feel for how mature she is.  So go for it my friend, I can't say it enough - don't let gyne rob youof one of life's great(est) pleasures!
go get 'em!
dave

[Arjun]

sanjmanm,

dont worry bud. Your day with women will come. How old are you? Women are complicated. They try to act all arrogant but deep down inside their desires are just as powerful as ours. I have a lot of female friends and i bug them to tell me this kinda stuff. A lot of times girls will make it appear as if they are not interested or they walk past you and like brush you off but the truth about women is they do all this crap for one thing...TO GET NOTICED. I am 21 yrs old so I speak for my generation. Girls anywhere from 18-24 you will see doing this. lol. I've had my fair share of B***H's and my fair share of sweet hearts. My advice to you is this. If you like a girl and you even have the slightest feeling that you like her. Let her know. Why? If a girl rejects you say once and you take it with a cool attitude chances are she will begin to notice you more and more....and more....this happened with me. I liked this girl for like a yr and finally had the courage to ask her out...I did and she said no in nicer words...i was heart broken. Im like i liked her for a dam year. Then over time she wanted to spend more time with me, she wanted to talk to me on the phone and wanted to get to know me better. Who was to know that 3 months later she would be dying for me to ask her out again. When I did she was so happy she just ran into my arms and we dated for a year. It was good. So dont worry your time will come. In the meantime concentrate on your gyno and school. All will fall into ure hands over time. Take care my friend

[sanjman]

thanks for advise and thoughts guys appreciate it.
I really dont worry about stuff that much as i use to i am very more comfortable wtih myself.
I am turning 19 arjun.

[sanjman]

I guess if i think of gyn as a big problem than girlfriends will too, so i will try to be more confident.

[Landwand]

Confidence.. I've never had any.

I'm a different person than many of you.  I'm emotionally defunct because of the life I have lead.  I don't care for anything.  At times, I wish I could say otherwise.

I guess this makes me a bad person.

I don't have a very high opinion of women. They're so fickle.  I don't think that anyone has ever found me to be attractive.  Years ago, I accepted this as part of who I was...

Companionship through solitude.  I don't know otherwise, and so I don't know what I'm missing.

[sanjman]

Landwand everybody has insecurities, thats why there is help out there.  If you feel so bad about yourself or are unhapy talk to therapist of psychiatrist it has helped me and many others.  Just think that are people out there with good hearts who try to help people like us who have self-confidence issues.
But anyways i agree with you on the girls part, they are very challenging.  I am sure you are a smart guy and that you will find a way to enjoy what u can in life before its to late even though it may be hard.
Feeling sorry for yourself is selfish but it is human nature i do it all the time. I have found to things very helpful to me and my depression:
-time
-and also realizing that there are a lot of other more really horrible problems out there in the world then just the ones i face.  

[Landwand]

I don't care anymore to be honest.  I have been this way for over ten years.  It's not a depression so much as a way of life.

I realized that my life cannot be a certain way, and I have accepted it.

To enjoy life is an impossible task for a person who doesn't know how to feel.

[nasa3]

Landman, I know exactly where you're coming from. I thought that I was doomed to exist with this for the rest of my life, thanks to a few clueless doctors who I reached out to when I was younger. I then suffered 32 years before finding this board and figuring out that there was something that could be done. Then God opened some doors and I finally got my surgery on May 20. But man, my self esteem and confidence took an awful beating, and I could never ever let anybody get very close to me. I havent been swimming since I was about 14, and that was the last time because I got made fun of. High school was a complete disaster. In spite of this, I did have girlfiriends, but I cant say the relationships were very fulfilling, even the sex, because this damn thing was always on my mind, I was always trying to hide it. I remember once having sex with this really beautifuyl girl with a great body, and not even enjoying it, because I was so shamed of how I looked with my shirt off and I was trying to hide my chest, and man it just sucked.

I try to tell everybody on this board, go get the surgery done, it will improve your life immeasurably. I'm about 6 weeks post surgery, still got some swelling, not yet comfortable goign shirtless, but I no longer wear multiple layers of clothing or walk all hunched over or do any of the other hundred and one avoidance behaviours that  I had cooked up over the years. The good thing about this board is that it shows you that the condition is curable, and once you have that as your goal, you can begin working towards it in terms of finding a surgeon and getting the money together. It took me about 7 months from the time I became aware of this board to when I had the surgery. But like I say, once you have an actual goal in mind, once you know that thing is actually possible, you can focus and concentrate all of your energy on that rather than on how miserable you are, and believe me I do understand. My problem was that for 25 years I believed what those damn doctors told me, and didnt know that the porblem actually had a solution. You are way ahead on that score.

God Bless you

If there is anything I can do to help you out, contact me via this board.

nasa