Author Topic: Stuck at step 1... how do I take the first step here?  (Read 3173 times)

Offline varys2013

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This has me paralyzed in a sense.  I was on testosterone suppressing Lupron for 3 years for prostate cancer treatment.  Some breast growth happened, but just a little, mostly related I think to some weight gain.  But, when the Lupron was discontinued, my body started converting the recovering testosterone into estrogen.  For about 3-4 months, I had rather sensitive breasts, with twinges, and they grew somewhat noticeably.

Now, I can feel them bounce a little when I walk if I'm not careful, and time on the elliptical at the gym has them clearly moving.  I don't know how visible that is, but it is distracting and a bit uncomfortable.  Not painful, but I'm aware of it.  While I also have some abdominal fat I never used to have (estrogenic appearance), my t-shirts will hang from my chest.

They bounce when I drive on bumpy roads too.  So, I'm aware of them.

The calculators say I'm a 40 or 42B, some say even larger but they're apparently "shallow" and wide set, typical for a male like this.  I've discussed the discomfort with my wife, and she is at least bemused and may be ok with me wearing something at least during exercise.  That's when I feel I'd like to have some more control, stop their movement.

All of that is to say, ok, if I'm actually going to "shop" for such, how does one do that?  I looked at the bra section at a Walmart, and froze.  No way could I even enter that zone, my feet wouldn't do it.  I was too embarrassed to ask my wife to accompany me in there, though probably she would have.  Do you shop online?  They're not cheap, so what, you guess at the size, try it, return it if it's wrong?  That seems too slow, too awkward.

I hear about these "boutiques".  No idea where such a thing would be, nor if they'd be welcoming of a male.  The whole idea seems inextricable tangled with social perceptions that may question my motives for being there.  I have what amounts to a medical side effect, and just want to stabilize them for comfort.

Help!  I'm stuck at square one.  How does one just boldly stand up and shop for such a garment?  I feel silly, reading so many of you here who just do that so easily.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 07:44:13 AM by varys2013 »

aboywithgirls

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I've been wearing  and shopping for bras for 30 years. It's just something that I have to do.
I would ask for your wife's help. She'll know wear the boutiques in your area are. Kohls is also a good place to start. While they don't have fitters there, they pretty much leave you on your own to try on as many as you want 

Offline varys2013

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Thanks for the suggestion!  Kohls is nearby for us.

When you try them on, I assume it's like other things, you just take them into a fitting room and see how they fit?  If some clerk asks what I'm doing there, I'd probably go with a simple explanation of my situation, and go from there.

Offline chestyoldman

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Varys2013, when I started shopping for bras I bought them online through a trial-and-error routine until I finally discovered what fits. According to the so-called calculators I should wear a 46B, but I found that bras in that size, while they fit well around me, the cups were too large. I finally discovered a good fit when I dropped to a 38B and used an extender. Throughout this process I found herroom.com to be a wonderful source of information and help, and their return policy is terrific. Once I determined that I like Bali bras the best I found the best prices at onehanesplace.com, and their return policy is also great. I have even bought a few bras from Ebay that have worked out well and are the cheapest by far. Some Ebay sellers even allow returns, and I have had to return a few that just didn't fit right. Now that I am more comfortable wearing a bra and don't care as much about who knows, if I have questions about my correct size in the future I will go somewhere for a professional fitting. Until then, the Bali bras work great.

aboywithgirls

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Thanks for the suggestion!  Kohls is nearby for us.

When you try them on, I assume it's like other things, you just take them into a fitting room and see how they fit?  If some clerk asks what I'm doing there, I'd probably go with a simple explanation of my situation, and go from there.

That's what I would do. Don't worry, you won't be the first. There are many men who are wearing a bra nowadays. I don't think it's as big of a deal as it used to be. You can buy spanx for men (tops and bottoms! ) It's only a matter of time before playtex and wacoal are making bras marketed towards men. 

hammer

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I'm in Minnesota and go to a beautique in St. Paul called Allure. My wife went with me the first time and said that I was treated with more respect then my daughter was when they went to the department stores at the "Mall of America" to get her fitted.

As others said, you will not be the 1st guy that they have fitted.  I was told that they get several a week with the same problem.

Good luck!

Offline Busty

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Try not to worry.  Anyone who notices you will also notice you have breasts like a woman.  And you need to get fitted, try on, buy, and wear bras like a woman.


 

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