First of all, I can't imagine that not being able to do push ups in gym class would be such a big factor in passing/failing the class.
The exam was made up of 2 parts. Running the mile, and well something else. But in the something else portion, pushups counted for like a third of the grade. I told the coach that my wrist was hurting, but at the time I didn't know it was broken. My dream was to one day be able to play major league baseball because I've played for 10 years already and its a huge part of my life. But when given the option of surgery, the doctor said that theirs a one in five chance that your wrist will get worse, in some cases beyond repair. I really didn't want to take that risk, but I told my mom that I have to do it anyway. And every time I ask her to make me any kind of doctor apt, even when she isn't mad at me, she'll groan. Then she'll say 'do i really have to?' and I say well itd be nice. and she says ok I'll do it tomorow. But she never does. I have an infection on my foot so i can't wear sneakers and baseball tryouts are in a few months, i had to bug her for about 3 weeks constantly just to make me a podiatrist apt. I know she isn't normal, but there is no way of getting that in her head. She thinks she's the greatest mother in the world and that I'm an ingrate. She takes all of her problems out on me like I'm supposed to fix it. Just a few minutes ago she calls me and says "I need to have car repairs that's gonna cost 600 dollars" like I'm supposed to do something about it. I have 250 dollars in checks to my name, a job application out, I'm gonna start working on a 70 foot headboat with my dad for some extra money. I'm doing everything I can and it's never good enough.
Every day I think of a few lines from The Breakfast Club.
"Are we gonna be like our parents?"
"It's unavoidable. Just happens."
That's not something most people think about, but every day I find myself doing things a certain way just to be the opposite of her. Just another thing on my list of teenage stresses. And you know my gyne isn't even that terrible, but I have low self esteem as it is, so it's a big deal to me. It's not so bad that I can never go out in the sun, but I only do it when I go fishing out in the boat basically when no ones around. So I guess it's not much better than not going anywhere at all. I love my mom to death, but I really wish she would change. I've tried to "change" her. It's no use though, I'm going to have to fight this battle on my own...
Topic: I seriously can't take it anymore. (Read 6837 times)
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