Gynecomastia Support Forum

Off-Topic => Lounge Area => Topic started by: xelnaga13 on June 12, 2012, 08:29:11 PM

Title: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 12, 2012, 08:29:11 PM
About a year ago my boss at work go pregnant and went out of maternity leave, leaving an opening for her position. I looked like I would be up for a promotion, however it did not work out that way. Instead the owner decided to hire from outside the company.

I had dedicated about 3 years of my life to the company, sometimes going months with out a day off. I already wasn't making much money, the benefits sucked, and I always felt under appreciated. So this missed promotion was basically the last straw.

I couldn't afford to leave the job and go back to school, and I wasnt having any luck finding a new job. The new manager was terrible to me. She exploited my weaknesses, and undermined me at every turn. I began getting nasty emails from her and the owner about mistakes I was making. At one point they started making memos out of these emails, removing my name, and sending them to everyone in order to embaress me.  They were basically pushing me out of the company.

I refused to quit- knowing I would not get unemployment benefits. Then one day the owner made a surprise visit and fired me. Basically saying that I wasnt doing a good job and was not able to get along with others.

After losing the job I spiraled downward. At the time I saw it as evidence that I was a failure in life, and that once again society had kicked me to the curb... it dredged up a lot of underlying issues for me, including my insecurity about having aspergers.

With no friends, limited family contact, a small apt., no money to occupy myself with... I had limited outlets for my feelings.

Today I opened the mail and Im being charged with harassment, stalking, and disorderly conduct stemming for an allegation that I posted non threatening rude comments on facebook. I didnt think this was possible... I assumed as long as you dont email someone, or msg them, or threaten them you are covered by freedom of speech.

So now I have a great summer job, I have my health back, stopped drinking, had gyno surgery covered by insurance, was about to reenroll in college, finally got my family relationships back on track........ and have the law to deal with.

Ive been in trouble before... but I was younger then and could stomach court. Now Im older - and honestly scared. 
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: HellandBack on June 12, 2012, 08:42:49 PM
I salute you bro. Non threatening rude comments? What is this grade school? I have seen some crazy stuff on facebook when my cousin and his girl broke it off and i mean CRAZY, threats and all. Don't be scared of the law that's what they want. Seems petty just play it as such and keep living your life. O yea and i still can't believe u got surgery covered maaaan  :D
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 12, 2012, 09:30:59 PM
I salute you bro. Non threatening rude comments? What is this grade school? I have seen some crazy stuff on facebook when my cousin and his girl broke it off and i mean CRAZY, threats and all. Don't be scared of the law that's what they want. Seems petty just play it as such and keep living your life. O yea and i still can't believe u got surgery covered maaaan  :D

Thanks brother. The comment in question was " Horseface". It broke the law because it caused " emotional distress" which is mis. harassment. However, when I looked up the legal def. of emotional distress it said that it was to be the result of "outrageous behavior and not insults" I couldn't believe the court papers when I read them.

The biggest issue for me is my relationships with my family. Whenever I screw up I get shunned by everyone. I mean no calls, texts, or emails.

Being dragged to court is very stressful. You really never know what a judge will do. The judge may throw it out, or he may look at it and say "wow this 26yr needs a wake up call".

First is the preliminary hearing in a month to decide whether it will go to trial . Typically they offer you lesser offenses... summaries would be great. If you can't agree, or they refuse to negotiate then it goes to trial .
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: Chicago on June 13, 2012, 02:00:03 AM
You actually have a summons to appear in court?

or did you get a threatening letter?

Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 13, 2012, 03:29:50 AM
You actually have a summons to appear in court?

or did you get a threatening letter?



Summons for court and I have to go to the police station to get finger printed.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: HellandBack on June 13, 2012, 07:40:08 AM
Daaang bro that is crazy to me i can't comprehend why you would be summoned to court for that :o what will the judge say i am curious. Good luck bro let us know what ends up happening, hopefully the judge will dismiss the "name calling case". Whoever took it this far truely is a horseface  ;D
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on June 13, 2012, 09:37:39 AM
It is with great sorrow that I bring you this news this morning gentlemen. Our first amendment right is slowly being ripped away from us day by day, and this is why I do not us face book or any other media like it, this one is it.

Freedom of religion is now freedom from religion, and growing up in the 60's I witnessed a lot of protest, but just today I got a YouTube forward to me about a law that was passed that makes it a fellony to protest in specific areas. I will add the link bellow.

Times are changing, and not better I might add. I am glad that I am older and sad to think that I have children and grandchildren that will not have a world that I grow up in!

youtube.com/watch?v=rRAt2LALqNw&feature=related

Bob aka Hammer
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 13, 2012, 01:47:48 PM
Daaang bro that is crazy to me i can't comprehend why you would be summoned to court for that :o what will the judge say i am curious. Good luck bro let us know what ends up happening, hopefully the judge will dismiss the "name calling case". Whoever took it this far truely is a horseface  ;D

I rent an apt. in a really nice town. The average house price on the street I live on is 1.6 million. Crime here is very rare; mostly duis. However, we have a huge police force for the town and another one for the borough. It's my belief that the cops have the fund and manpower to pursue cases that probably wouldn't be pursued in a smaller or less funded dept. That and the paper work states that the "horseface" met with the police every single time she suspected something was written by me.

From what I read 90% of charges stand at a preliminary hearing. So my options are pleaing out to summary offense or going to trial. Trial might be a good option because I don't know how they can possible prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I signed onto a certain screen name and that I entered the words.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: Paa_Paw on June 13, 2012, 11:31:26 PM
I have lost a few jobs in my life, but the truth is that I never lost a job that was really worth having. I think you may now be in a position to apprediate this statement.

One freedom that we still have is to sue anyone for just about anything. This means that you can counter-sue the same people who are now suing you.

The only way you can defend against a charge of saying derogatory things would be to prove that you were simply stating the truth. This is a difficult up-hill battle since your exact statements are in a public forum. If you are not in a position to prove, then you might better try to negotiate. Either way, you need a lawyer. For the future remember the advice given Thumper by his mother. (In the movie Bambi.)
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 14, 2012, 12:50:36 AM
I have lost a few jobs in my life, but the truth is that I never lost a job that was really worth having. I think you may now be in a position to apprediate this statement.

One freedom that we still have is to sue anyone for just about anything. This means that you can counter-sue the same people who are now suing you.

The only way you can defend against a charge of saying derogatory things would be to prove that you were simply stating the truth. This is a difficult up-hill battle since your exact statements are in a public forum. If you are not in a position to prove, then you might better try to negotiate. Either way, you need a lawyer. For the future remember the advice given Thumper by his mother. (In the movie Bambi.)

When I lost the job I thought it was really terrible news. However, it did lead to many positives. With my time off I was able to get gyno surgery, shoulder surgery, unemployment benefits, lose 10 percent bodyfat, make 2 good friends, quit drinking, spend time with family, get a low stress part time gig that really appreciates me, and hopefully reenroll in classes for fall.

In the past, when something didn't work out for me I would wallow in self pity and make a bad situation worse. This experience really reenforced the notion that " it's not what happens to you , it how you react to what happens to you".
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: Chicago on June 14, 2012, 01:21:24 AM
This really sounds like horse dung. Its worth fighting, with a lawyer. I mean, what else needs to be done other than show the US Constitution, Amendment #1.

 
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on June 14, 2012, 08:17:33 AM
It sounds like you made some lemon aid with the lemons that you received out of all this! This is a very good way to deal with bad things, congrats on the positive progress!
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: Paa_Paw on June 15, 2012, 12:04:24 AM
While slugging it out in court may seem like a good idea, It is not always the best way out. A friend of mine was sued a little over a year ago and he stood firm. Fortunately he did prevail and won the case. The win was costly though. The case dragged on for months and his total costs were a bit over $5,000. Winning cost him more than it would have cost him to concede.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 15, 2012, 04:23:52 PM
While slugging it out in court may seem like a good idea, It is not always the best way out. A friend of mine was sued a little over a year ago and he stood firm. Fortunately he did prevail and won the case. The win was costly though. The case dragged on for months and his total costs were a bit over $5,000. Winning cost him more than it would have cost him to concede.

If they offer me summery charges, ill plead guilty. Id rather plead guilty and pay a fine than to have this drag out for another several months. I just want to move on with my life.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on June 15, 2012, 04:51:34 PM
I can understand moving on, however, by taking the plea I would want to check into what rights that would effect you in the future! If there is a felony charge you will lose the right to vote, own a gun, and more. I know that the cost to prove you are not at fault could be high but the plea could be higher in personal rights.

That being said, if it nothing more then a misdemeanor or gross misdemeanor, take it and run!
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 15, 2012, 05:32:01 PM
I can understand moving on, however, by taking the plea I would want to check into what rights that would effect you in the future! If there is a felony charge you will lose the right to vote, own a gun, and more. I know that the cost to prove you are not at fault could be high but the plea could be higher in personal rights.

That being said, if it nothing more then a misdemeanor or gross misdemeanor, take it and run!

All the charges are misdemeanors... the best they can do is knock them down to summery charges. Summery charges don't wind up on your public record or in the news paper. It's basically like a bad speeding ticket.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on June 15, 2012, 05:39:06 PM
Then take it and fly like the wind!
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on June 19, 2012, 05:26:51 PM
Just wanted to update everyone. I made an appt. with the public defenders office for early next month. I will let everyone know how thing progress.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on July 12, 2012, 08:01:35 PM
Met with the public defender rep. today. He said that he's never seen anything like my case, and that it will likely be dismissed at the preliminary hearing. The meeting definitely removed a few pounds off my shoulders.

Ive def. absorbed a lesson I should have learned years ago. Negativity breeds negativity.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on July 12, 2012, 08:30:15 PM
Good to hear.,

God Bless, hope all does go well!

Bob aka Hammer
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on July 30, 2012, 02:38:16 PM
UPDATE:

Just got back from my preliminary hearing. After a few rounds of negotiating the DA and police officer's final offer was 5 summary offenses and probation. Not having the stomach to put my parents through a lengthy legal process, I accepted.

It's going to mean some hefty fines and a handful of probation officer visits. But its worlds away from the possibility of getting locked up or having a record.

Back when I allegedly caused these problems I didn't have very much to look forward to everyday. It was easy for me to find trouble because I wasn't risking anything. Since then I have become very focused on bodybuilding and my job working with kid; both of which provide me with a sense of happiness and fulfillment.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on July 30, 2012, 04:48:04 PM
I am glad to hear that this is behind you now!

You can knock the dust off of your boots and never look back, and someday they will need to answer to the Lord for the way that they miss treated you! Or who knows, sometimes things can come back and bit them in the ass real bad at another time and another place, but that could be the Lord doing his just reward too

When one door closes and another opens, and many times it can lead to better places!

Good luck, God Bless!

Bob aka Hammer
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: Paa_Paw on July 31, 2012, 12:01:50 AM
Ditto.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: xelnaga13 on August 01, 2012, 10:31:26 PM
Thanks for the replies Bob an paa_paw ( dan?). It's really nice to see the lounge getting some regular attention these days.
Title: Re: Legal woes...
Post by: hammer on August 01, 2012, 11:04:37 PM
No problem bro, hope that all is going well for you now! Life can be hell, so we must make the best of it!

God Bless,

Bob
SMFPacks CMS 1.0.3 © 2024