Author Topic: Mothers  (Read 1815 times)

Offline SideSet

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So true, Leosud, things that could not be spoken of, even as they grew right before everyone’s eyes, leaving us feeling alone to deal with as best we could. 

Offline aboywithgirls

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It breaks my heart 💔😞 hearing how your puberty and your developments during puberty were denied the conversations that you needed to have with your mothers. You were denied the basic support of a bra that a girl of your age would automatically get and have it celebrated.

At the time, I felt my grandmother was being mean towards me when she told my mother that I needed a bra. I also thought that my mother was giving into the pressure from her mother to get me to start wearing a bra. I was to young to realize the incredible gift that I was given. My older sister was also very supportive and understanding of what I was going through. 

I know that it's not the same. However, all of you here have a sister in me and I do understand exactly how you feel. If any of you need to talk about anything. I am here for you. Please feel free to PM me.

I love ❤️🤗💋 you guys❣️

Your sister 👭

Sophie ❤️
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

Offline blad

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At the time, I felt my grandmother was being mean towards me when she told my mother that I needed a bra. I also thought that my mother was giving into the pressure from her mother to get me to start wearing a bra. I was to young to realize the incredible gift that I was given. My older sister was also very supportive and understanding of what I was going through

Sophie ❤️
In previous posts I have the impression that you were also very accepting and sort of ready to have "the bra talk", having tried a bra already on your own?

Those were confusing times for me. I knew I should wear a bra while at the same time was embarrassed to be told so.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Charli

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SideSet, I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. I have never been able to understand why the big gap in how girls and boys are raised. If a girl need the bra talk it is because she is developing breast and breast are just breast so if a boy gets breast then should he not have the bra talk as well? 
I just never understood why parents program children into boys and girls. Perhaps it is my own birth defects that make me see things differently. 

I am thankful for the support we have for each other here in this place. 

Thank you all for sharing.
Charli 
Life is too short to worry about being judged by people that we would never take advice from anyway.

Offline Orb

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I hated being compared to my older brother. I just wanted to be seen for who I was.  We all had to fit a mold then.  I didn't.  It was hard however I feel it made me a better adult.  I worked hard to see the individual gifts of each of my children.  Then help them each develop them to become the individuals they are.  Uniquely different and allowed to grow within their own nature.

Offline SideSet

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Charli, thank you for your compassionate response. I agree that we are needlessly a binary culture.  Orb, so wonderful you rose above and became better. It is inspiring to all of us.

I eventually did get the bra talk, but it was about five years ago LOL from my then GF who is my now BFF.

After my breasts practically exploded into a B cup as a young teen, they stayed the same size for decades. I denied and “hid” them until middle-age, when Rx regimens and aging and weight gain started my breasts growing again. As at puberty, my growth was again explosive and it seemed I was a D cup in the blink of an eye.

My then GF had the bra talk she had been trying to initiate much of our long term relationship when I was a “mere” B cup, and deluding myself I was successfully camouflaging them. Now that I could no longer deny I had full and heavy female breasts or camouflage them as they provocatively swayed and jiggled on my chest with my nipples suggestively poking through my tops, I was finally open to the bra talk I should have had as a teenager decades ago and that my then GF had wanted to give me throughout the about 15 years we had been together.

I had always admitted to myself I had breasts like a woman, and deep inside recognized that all along I should have been wearing a bra like a woman. But the embarrassment I had experienced perpetuated that same old denial I had when my breasts started growing. Back then I ignored that I was developing breasts like the girls in my class and afterwards when the growth stopped, I told myself they were small and lied to myself I could hide them.

Now, I not only had breasts like a woman, but my breasts were bigger than the average woman’s. The uncomfortable movement, sore breast tissue, chapped nipples, and back pain associated with unsupported breasts told me I physically needed to start wearing a bra. And when I looked in the mirror, and could see the outline shape and size of my breasts and areolae clearly showing through my tops and my nipples poking through like little hard erasers, I knew I needed to wear a bra for modesty as well as comfort.

So, when my then GF next tried to have the bra talk with me, I approached it from the perspective of somebody knowing they would be wearing a bra like a woman for the rest of their lives.

More another time about my then GF and now BFF, bra wearing, and slow steady progression from D to DD to DDD, and, yes, the fitter who has known me since just about the start, at my recent bra fitting brought me some G cups to try. Thankfully, they were just a little too big, and I could almost see her relief, as she said, you know we top off at a G cup, so if you get any bigger than that, you won’t be able to get your bras here anymore. She did say she saw a G cup in my future, as I seem to be still growing, albeit more slowly. She said let’s just hope you stop at a G cup.

But I digress.

My point is that because we have breasts like women, we do need to wear bras like women, and we do need the bra talk, may be at different times and variations. But the bra talk is just that, it’s a talk between two people, so much depends on how and when the talk is given and received. I should’ve gotten the talk as a teenager and I’m pretty sure I would’ve been receptive to it then, and I should’ve been receptive to the talk earlier as an adult. I think things might’ve been quite different if that had been the case.


Offline Orb

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I just reread this thread.

  SideSet, sorry.  growing up for you was difficult.  All you needed, wanted, was someone to talk to you, with you, and help you navigate this world that for you was so out of the public's norm.  It's been said before that to have gynecomastia there has to elevated levels of E.  Changes in how we think, feel act are all altered.  The feelings of liking softer underwear, panties isn't wrong for us, its out of the box for the average male.  The feelings gained by wearing nylons, panties and the like are quickly overcome by the "guilt", feelings of "shame", and the like.  It shouldn't be that way.  I wish it wasn't.  It is the pressure and ignorance of the masses, their fear of our uniqueness, that drives this unacceptable mentality.  

Offline aboywithgirls

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Orb,

Thank you sooooo much ❤️🥰🤗 for this message!! You are so right!!

I never realized what a lucky boy I was and what a lucky woman that I am to have a mother who to some degree gave me the power to make my own decisions on what was best for me. The only thing she had said that I HAD to do was when I had developed enough, that I had to start wearing a bra full time. Binding was not unheard of but it was unhealthy.  

I wish that my mother could have sat down with your mothers and explained to them how she dealt my issue. 

I love all of you guys (and girls😉)

Sophie ❤️

Offline Orb

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Thanks Sophie.

  I have stated before this is my second go around here.  Different name.
I received a few unwanted, undeserving PM's which brought me right back to what I was trying to work beyond.  I always marveled at how you got along.  Growing up, having family support and now fully embracing you for you. 

Thank you.

I feel there are a lot of us here are trapped if you will with one foot in one world and another in...yours.

We live and act how we are viewed and long to be seen for how we view ourselves.  Unique and unashamed.  Softer.

I wish the whole were just a bit softer.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2022, 09:15:00 AM by Orb »

 

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