Author Topic: I am pleased, but..... / Any thoughts?  (Read 2038 times)

Normal boobs1

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Firstly I am pleased with the evolution of this forum since I was first involved many years back. I welcome the greater openness, members talking about their feelings and the much greater tolerance and support of those like myself who are embracing more fully the wider effects of gyno feminising our bodies, thinking and feelings.
BUT
When I first discovered this largely sane forum it was very different and heavily focused on breasts and bras, (though many thought that concealment was the priority). The occasional mother seeking advice for sons were not exactly common but now they are as rare as hens teeth.
For my own part after settling on the site and having "the conversation" with my wife and getting guarded understanding I pointed her in the direction of this site to the extent that our PC  has this site as a browser "favourite" and I do not log out. From day one she has seen my posts, concerns and feelings and also the thought and responses of others. This openness has been an enormous help in our conversations and the journey that neither of us chose, but now fully share.
My concern is that as much as I embrace where we are as a community it is not as friendly a place to guys just beginning to grapple with the "problem" nor do I think I would recommend it to mothers or a partner. This concerns me. 
I am not sure this can be addressed satisfactorily.
What do others think

Offline blad

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This can never be all things to all people at all times.

Catering to one segment alienates another.

Catering to all annoys all.

A seasoned member of this site may be evolved enough to balance this out, but a mom seeking advice about her son may not.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline gotgyne

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My concern is that as much as I embrace where we are as a community it is not as friendly a place to guys just beginning to grapple with the "problem" nor do I think I would recommend it to mothers or a partner. This concerns me.
I am not sure this can be addressed satisfactorily.
What do others think
You are right. Most of us here in the acceptance subforum are older. Our way how we deal with our breasts, i.e. wearing bras, may not suit to most young males and their mothers. Even I feel strange if I read that some of us men(!) would like to try a bikini.
A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts.

Offline JoniDee

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You are right. Most of us here in the acceptance subforum are older. Our way how we deal with our breasts, i.e. wearing bras, may not suit to most young males and their mothers. Even I feel strange if I read that some of us men(!) would like to try a bikini.
Well, gotgyne.... Like Sophie, I would like to try a bikini this summer! 🥰

Joni ♥️💕♥️

Normal boobs1

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I love the idea but can't see myself getting  the courage up to actually do it.
The fact that the only swimming I have ever done was of necessity when sailing or canoeing decades ago and the fact that my skin is very sensitive to sun  makes it a bit fool hardy. 
The idea will live only as a wish in my mind and a twinkle is my eye

GuessThisIsMeNow

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When I brought up the bikini in a different thread, there's no way I'm going to a beach with it, yet anyway. It'll be solely when I'm alone, but I see it as no different than a speedo only with a matching top for comfort. 

Offline benusa

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I don’t think I would have ever tried a bra if I hadn’t gotten on here.

Offline HeldUp

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Frankly there are many seasoned views here. Folks that have long dealt with their lot, but I think those that are here would really welcome and assist anyone that came to this part of the forums specifically. I am not so old, but have dealt with gyne since my teens so perhaps I’m a bit of an old hand myself, but I know I would levelheadedly assist anyone that I encountered here. 

I rarely venture into the “let’s get surgery” part of this forum and I frankly wish this group was elsewhere, mostly because the focus of the site coming in lorded over by images of “the doctor”. Not that I wish him any ill-will, but open conversation about things are difficult when a site is owned by someone profiting off of body image issues and their “correction”. 

Offline Moobzie

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I don't mind this site having different fora for different concerns / interest / questions.  It's part of the 'to each his own' approach which, imo, makes the site more welcoming to anyone dealing with gynecomastia (themselves or for another).  Also, I was drawn to it for its educational / informational value - to which MDs obviously contribute, as do so many of us in the "acceptance" forum.  If something doesn't interest / apply to me, I simply ignore it.

Offline Johndoe1

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I am thankful that this side is not harassed by the other side and that's not a us vs them statements. I guess it's the stigma of being "caught" on our side. I have always found everyone here to be understanding and helpful and those who have no intentions of accepting do not frequent here. That's a blessing and a curse all at the same time.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline gotgyne

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I rarely venture into the “let’s get surgery” part of this forum and I frankly wish this group was elsewhere, mostly because the focus of the site coming in lorded over by images of “the doctor”. Not that I wish him any ill-will, but open conversation about things are difficult when a site is owned by someone profiting off of body image issues and their “correction”.
I don't think so. I'm grateful that this forum, which gets paid by a surgeon who does gynecomastia surgery, permits comments on gynecomastia acceptance in special subforums. The owner of the forum needn't do it. For this reason I'd never go to the surgery subforums and try to convince someone not to get surgery. It's a personal decision for everyone and if someone won't live with his gynecomastia, he should get surgery.
But it should really be a personal decision. I have no sympathy for wives or mothers who force their husbands or sons to surgery only because they want it.

Offline gotgyne

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I am thankful that this side is not harassed by the other side and that's not a us vs them statements. I guess it's the stigma of being "caught" on our side. I have always found everyone here to be understanding and helpful and those who have no intentions of accepting do not frequent here. That's a blessing and a curse all at the same time.
I agree. But why is it a curse?

Offline blad

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The surgeons need affiliate links on this site. Buy a bra from Amazon through a link on this site and they get a %. Everyone wins!

Orb

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 The whole concept of hearing both sides for someone new to the development of breast growth I feel is good.  If one accepts it or decides to go the corrective surgery option I frankly don't care.  I just feel everyone should be happy with their body what ever nature gives them. If not then change it.  The exception being over weight.  If it can be helped we know there are true health benefits for maintaining a healthy weight.   I believe all plastic surgery is for the benefit of social acceptance.  Pleasing others and self. 

  I have never tried to change ones mind on the surgery side.  If they want to learn to accept it they know we are here to help.  I also have had no negative comments from someone telling me to have surgery.  I accept this site for what it is and can't think of anything that should be changed.

  As in life I have learned to hear both sides then make my decision.

Offline HeldUp

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I agree, Orb. There's value in gathering information from all sources when you're looking to make a decision or come to an understanding.

Some of where my head was at the time is that some may also feel like sharing less when half the site is dedicated to (and probably more traveled by) those not at all interested in this kind of conversation at all. Perhaps I've accepted where I am at myself, but afear that the internet will internet; it takes only one bad actor to make sharing information a personal mistake. It is nice that there are those here that are very open, but it's not hard to imagine others being more withholding because of the "closeness" of people that think and feel quite oppositely. But I do stand by my statement that I think that any person coming to the Acceptance side of the forum would be welcomed and folks "here" would be open to dialogue with them. 

For transparency's sake, I have come back here (much like the OP) with a new nom de plume--seeing the value of the conversation specifically on this "side of the house" and wanting to be a part of it.


 

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