ED from ED

[Evolver]

Lots of raw honesty in this thread. Maybe THIS is the club that none of us wanted to join.

Atrophy, yes. Mine can also almost disappear in underwear. I also had a radical prostatectomy, but mine was nine years ago. I was already experiencing some ED before then, treated with viagra, and I was aware that permanent and complete ED was a risk factor after surgery. Happily, I felt some nocturnal stirrings while I was still in hospital, and even though it hurt with the catheter in place, it gave me a lot of confidence. But over the years things just got worse and worse. I was needing stronger and stronger doses of V, but it gave me horrible side effects like the feeling that my head (the one on my shoulders) was about to explode, and I couldn't handle it. 

I don't want to go into detail about what happened subsequently, but I did try other methods (Caverject) for a while, but certain events and circumstances since then have meant that the fire is well and truly out. Libido is almost zero now too.

Up until last year I was still able to pleasure myself occasionally even if mostly flaccid, but I also have nothing but numbness down there now most of the time. I suspect that I have experienced some damage to my pudendal nerve from a separate procedure I underwent last year. That procedure dealt with an issue that originated from my prostate cancer. The best I can hope for now is to edge, but it is very difficult to even reach that stage, and there is nothing after that at all. 

My wife and I are good. Nothing is expected, her libido is low too, but I am still able to pleasure her in a variety of different ways which we do every now and then, and that makes me happy too.

[Midagemoobs2]

In the last year my ED issues has become more frequent than ever. To a point my wife often will ask if it’s going to work before we try to entertain the idea. Between that and loss of libido sex, has become a thing of the past it seems. I have tried the pills and changes in diet and exercises claimed to boost blood flow and testosterone. Taken supplements that are good for this area supposedly and nothing seems to work. And when it does work it’s usually a day that doesn’t work for us to engage in things.

I was curious if anyone else has issues in this area of estrogen dominance and e dysfunction. Has there been anything that works for you? In our 30s it kind of sucks to think at least in the moment the bedroom is not a room to go to except to sleep lately. Curious if anyone else cares to share any remedy’s they found.

Going back to your original question… Viagra etc, can make a real difference when desired.  I have not found any supplements that did much.  A factor certainly is T/E ratio/balance. Also there are a ton of medications that impact function (not surprisingly, several also risk breast growth):  Almost all diuretics and blood pressure meds, most acid reducers, prostate treatments, and less commonly suspected but certainly a factor: most antihistamines, most NSAIDs (ibuprofen, naproxen, etc.).  Check with your doc if could pause these a day beforehand, it may help but of course ONLY IF you can do so safely.
These may not impact the average guy, but I’m likely at or past a tipping point already, so I find planning helps (kills spontaneity).  

[gotgyne]

Sitting has been something I've done for years. My wife would complain about splashing and spots that I wouldn't notice on the floor. I just figured sitting would be easier and give me a moment to just relax for a few.

I'm on the other side of the spectrum in that 'sitting' has been my only option my entire life. I tried a urinal once our of curiosity and peed all over myself.

I like the female urination device (FUD) or 'urinal' very much, since it enlarges my short thingy to 10 inches. If in a male restroom no free stall is available, it is much more hygienic to use it since I don't need to stand too close to the urinal with the floor underneath which is often wet from urine.
And I often use it at home, since I don't need sitting down for peeing and there are no splashes.

[gotgyne]

Toys are basically the only option. 🙄

The same with me. I really envy my cousin who is much older (77) and has terrific sex with his 62 year old wife without any pills or toys. At least he told me this. I didn't answer.

[42CSurprise!]

If we're honestly open to reality we find there is infinite variety in this being human thing.  Men who spend time here are simply dealing with what life has delivered to us and that happens to be diminished testosterone that allows estrogen to have her way with our bodies.  And that clearly includes breasts growing on our chests while our genitals diminish between our legs.  Viagra exists only because men, whether they're dealing with diminished testosterone or not, have difficulties maintaining an erection.  I'm sure the Marlboro Man NEVER had a problem with that, though I understand he did develop lung cancer... but we're ordinary men dealing with real life circumstances.  I appreciate that we're speaking so honestly about the experience.  We are not weirdos and there are PLENTY of those in the world... I say that as a person who has spent quite a bit of time with men who were sexually abused as boys.  There are nasty things happening in families, schools, churches, sports teams perpetrated by men and women.  I think we're doing pretty well for a group of people with elevated estrogen both challenging us and easing our way through the world.

[Sophie]

In my early 40's, ED set in as well as a loss of libido. My wife had introduced me to pegging. We both enjoyed our roles with the act. This led me to have my own strapon that I could wear for her pleasure. It was a win-win for us. I was able to pleasure her without having the pressure of trying to get an erection and just being able to enjoy each other. This, of course quickly led to my orchiectomy as everything that I had going on down there never worked the way it was supposed to. It's definitely not for everyone, but I really like my "upgrade".😍

♥️Sophie♥️

[gotgyne]

In my early 40's, ED set in as well as a loss of libido. My wife had introduced me to pegging. We both enjoyed our roles with the act. This led me to have my own strapon that I could wear for her pleasure. It was a win-win for us. I was able to pleasure her without having the pressure of trying to get an erection and just being able to enjoy each other. This, of course quickly led to my orchiectomy as everything that I had going on down there never worked the way it was supposed to. It's definitely not for everyone, but I really like my "upgrade".😍

♥️Sophie♥️

Sophie, regarding your experience with your breasts from being in your teens and your comments on this forum, I'm sure you did the right thing. If I had not medical problems that don't allow me taking high doses of estrogen, I'd have considered a bilateral orchiectomy myself. In fact I thought of it for a long time, but ultimately came to the conclusion that it would be too dangerous.

John

[WPW717]

Dealt with the same problem since my early 60’s. We went the medical route with the no success result. Even tried double then triple dose with MD approval and the same on the other brand of ED med.  Zippo !

Spent approximately 19 months with no sex hormones of any sort, despite the multiple diagnoses of several other osteoporosis linked conditions. Testosterone is a nope as I have too many risk factors ( 7 out of 10 reasons for not) . The GP overrode the Endocrinologist hesitation to do HRT. It felt like she was waiting for a fracture to manifest. DEXA femur Bone density = minus 0.4.  
Have spent 2 weeks on estrogen patch and there is a slight hint of a libido manifestation. It’s feeling like it is a welcome addition to the intimacy we have had that primarily revolved around cuddling and touching each other lovingly.
I wouldn’t miss the testicles if they had to go as they are nonfunctional, completely. There was some concern of nascent possibility of tumor formation as I have Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia now.

The spousal support is most valuable for the maintenance of the marital relationship.
Good luck to all in this boat.

[mgr]

Speaking of double orchiectomies.  I have both done for medical reasons as I stated before. After one month after the last removal, my T went to undetectable.  The endocrinologist and my urologist/oncologist were both surprised I didn’t have any even from the adrenal gland.  After years of actual pain down there, as Sophie said, it is an upgrade for me as well.  To further my story, my urologist expected my scrotum to shrink and not be a problem.  Well, it was just the opposite. It got very thin and very saggy to where it was an issue when sweating etc.  I had it completely removed 1.5 years ago and it was the right decision. My comfort today is greater than it has been in 20 years.

I am on T and have been since 2017, but it is always at the low end of the range to below.  My body does not like it in the normal range. This is the cause of my breast growth.  

However, even the low amount I take as a gel, it has eliminated my osteopenia.  I have dexa scans every two years as well as mammograms.

The hardest thing for me is all of the ED commercials, sex scenes on TV and in Movies.  I feel a bit sad and hollow when they come on. There is just nothing they can do in that department.  I have spoken to a therapist about it and am a little better but it never goes away.  

What I am is happy to be alive and healthy.  That was the most important thing to me. That is where you have to focus.  The physical changes are not the end of the world..I tell myself. 

[Sophie]

Speaking of double orchiectomies.  I have both done for medical reasons as I stated before. After one month after the last removal, my T went to undetectable.  The endocrinologist and my urologist/oncologist were both surprised I didn’t have any even from the adrenal gland.  After years of actual pain down there, as Sophie said, it is an upgrade for me as well.  To further my story, my urologist expected my scrotum to shrink and not be a problem.  Well, it was just the opposite. It got very thin and very saggy to where it was an issue when sweating etc.  I had it completely removed 1.5 years ago and it was the right decision. My comfort today is greater than it has been in 20 years.

I am on T and have been since 2017, but it is always at the low end of the range to below.  My body does not like it in the normal range. This is the cause of my breast growth. 

However, even the low amount I take as a gel, it has eliminated my osteopenia.  I have dexa scans every two years as well as mammograms.

The hardest thing for me is all of the ED commercials, sex scenes on TV and in Movies.  I feel a bit sad and hollow when they come on. There is just nothing they can do in that department.  I have spoken to a therapist about it and am a little better but it never goes away. 

What I am is happy to be alive and healthy.  That was the most important thing to me. That is where you have to focus.  The physical changes are not the end of the world..I tell myself.

I had elected to retain my scrotum when I had my orchiectomy.  They told me the same, that it should atrophy without having anything to hold.

I had already socially transitioned and was living as Sophie full time. The doctor also advised that my scrotum would become my labia if I were to have gender corrective surgery. Im very happy that I did not have a scrotectomy at the time.

♥️Sophie♥️

[Johndoe1]

Wow! I never thought about using a she pee type device.  Genius! I'll need to try that! (Mind blown!)

[mgr]

Sophie,
I tried to keep mine. Kept it for 6 years, but just could not take it any longer.  I have no intention of transitioning, so for me, I had a different end game. I am so glad you have been happy keeping yours and if you decide to have the surgery, then I wish you the best.  

For me, everyday without it is a blessing.  

[Sophie]

Sophie,
I tried to keep mine. Kept it for 6 years, but just could not take it any longer.  I have no intention of transitioning, so for me, I had a different end game. I am so glad you have been happy keeping yours and if you decide to have the surgery, then I wish you the best. 

For me, everyday without it is a blessing. 

MGR,

I apologize for any misunderstanding. I looked back on what I wrote, and I can see why it was confusing.

I socially transitioned in 2020, during the Covid closings. I had my  orchiectomy in early 2021. Later that year, I had full gender corrective surgery.

I thought that most everyone here knew that. If they didn't know, they do now! 😂

Anyway, I know how you feel without having all the extra stuff hanging around for nothing. My penis was never effective or very useful. I am very happy with my "upgrade".😉

♥️Sophie♥️

[mgr]

Sophie,
No worries.  I thought you had the surgery, but statement confused me. I am so glad you are enjoying your upgrade.  I have a bit of a minor upgrade compared to yours, but I love mine.  The looks and the comfort.  

Best,
MGR

[gotgyne]

Wow! I never thought about using a she pee type device.  Genius! I'll need to try that! (Mind blown!)

I came upon it because of an article by a female doctor who gave advice to the father of a boy with a not surgically corrected hypospadia. She suggested that the boy could use a FUD to urinate standing as she herself always does while hiking or attending crowded festivals. I've sent you a PM, which one I use. Don't want to advertise it publicly, as the forum owner may not like it.