Mothers

[SideSet]

For these whose gynecomastia started at puberty, how did your mothers handle it?

I feel my mother found it awkward, so was not a help to me. As a result, she missed out on a chance to make us closer. 

[aboywithgirls]

In my case, I think that my mother saw something in me (as well as on me 😉) that helped her help me.

I remember being very young and wearing her knee high nylons. I liked wearing them and she let me. As puberty started, I had secretly tried my sister's bras several times before my grandmother had told my mother " He should really start wearing a bra." My mother took her mother's advice and the next day my mother gave me several hand me down bras from my sister as well as "the bra talk".

A bra was optional for me for a few years even though I almost always had one on around the house. After I had gotten large enough, she told me that I needed to wear a bra full time. At that point I had outgrown any hand me down bras from my sister. She took me bra shopping for my own. I was fitted and was a solid 34C. 

I have worn a bra almost every day since. My mother definitely helped me become the woman I am today and I am forever grateful for her love.

Sophie ❤️

[FredL]

My mom was more concerned with me being overweight than what was going on with my chest. I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it so it never got discussed. Although, she did make sure I had a good supply of clean black t-shirts and dark button-downs.

Looking back, it’s disappointing because my dad was a psychiatrist. He should have noticed what I was going through. The only person who said something was my sister when she asked me at the breakfast table why I had breasts like a woman. I stormed out of the kitchen in tears, and all my dad had to say was “everyone is sensitive about something”.

[SideSet]

Fred and Sophie, thanks for sharing, and I am glad you are in such good, albeit very different, places now.  We carry our baggage from the past and I find sharing helps shed that load.

Fred, how do you think you would have reacted if your mother gently suggested a bra?  Maybe even a girdle since you were overweight? She clearly was trying to subtly help with those dark T’s and tops.  Sophie, would love to hear the bra talk and how you felt about it?

[Ed325]

My mother ignored my developing boobs. She never mentioned it. My father once told me I should cut back on food because I was getting heavy. He pointed at my chest when he said it because I was a normal weight for my height. My stomach was flat.

I was extremely embarrassed that my growing breasts were being noticed, and felt helpless to do anything about it. I did my best to hide them from then on.

[SideSet]

That must have been painful, Ed, I am sorry. Like it was your fault. 

I was similarly embarrassed, and would hunch my shoulders to try to hide my breasts.  My mother used to tell me not to hunch, to stand up straight, shoulders back. 

To this day, I wonder if my mother understood why I hunched?

[aboywithgirls]

My "bra talk" with my mother was pretty simple and compassionate. 

My mother called me to my room. She was sitting on my bed and had a stack of folded bras beside her. She asked me about my chest and if it bothered me. I remember telling her that it was soar if I was running or jumping but it also was itchy. She asked me to lift my shirt. Se was a little shocked about how much I had developed. I remember her saying that I was taking more after her and my sister than my brother and my father. She said that a bra may help me feel more comfortable. She didn't know that I had already tried my sister's bras  for a while ad and I knew that they would help. She showed me how to put them on (which, of course I already knew). I filled out the cups and she asked me how I felt. I told her it was better and wore it the rest of the day and to bed.

My sister was a little confused at first when she first saw me but quickly realized that I needed the same support as her and was understanding and never teased me about my situation. I wore her hand me downs for a few years until I caught up to her and her hand me down bras were to small.

That still seems like yesterday. It is still very fresh in my mind. I  think that it's because it was my first realization that I was now on a path that I was meant to be on.

Love yah guys ❤️🤗🥰😍

Sophie ❤️

[SideSet]

What a wonderful vignette, Sophie. I can see why you remember it like yesterday. Such a positive interaction. Confirming. Accepting. Instructive.  Supportive. 

What types of bras did she start you on?

She say anything when she saw you completely fill the bra cups?

[blad]

As I recently noted in another post, my mother was well aware of my breast development. 

She had me seen by a medical specialist who had me placed in a children's hospital for about three nights to run tests of some sort. They photographed my breasts as well as measured and palpated them.

My mother had also made a comment that not all boys were flat chested.

But despite these signs of obvious awareness, nothing else was ever said. Nor did I have any confirmation if she was aware of me wearing a bra at home.

A bra talk would have been embarrassing but also would have removed the secrecy around the issue.

[SideSet]

Blad, seems like your mother tried to do her best, but was just not able to do more and what you needed. She tried to get you medical help and her comment about not all boys being flat chested sounded quite kind. Too bad she wasn’t able to help you with bras like Sophie‘s mother did, as it could’ve avoided that secrecy.
Did you ever get any results from your medical visits?

[blad]

Blad, seems like your mother tried to do her best, but was just not able to do more and what you needed. She tried to get you medical help and her comment about not all boys being flat chested sounded quite kind. Too bad she wasn’t able to help you with bras like Sophie‘s mother did, as it could’ve avoided that secrecy.
Did you ever get any results from your medical visits?

No one ever talked to me about the medical exam after.

[SideSet]

That must have been difficult, blad. No closure and more feeling of secrecy. 

I wish I had been taken for such medical exams, although I know they must’ve been awkward and unpleasant. I would have welcomed the sense of acknowledgment and hopefully some closure on what was going on. But, if I was never going to hear anymore, I would rather not have had the exams. 

Were you ever tempted to ask your mother what the doctors told her?

[blad]

Were you ever tempted to ask your mother what the doctors told her?

I was definitely curious, but I did not initiate any discussions. I should have asked some questions.

[aboywithgirls]

It was pretty open for me. My mother brought me to our doctor's after a school physical had brought up the issue. I had developed quite a bit by then. The doctor had said to just keep on doing what I was doing that if I wanted surgery that we should wait until I had stopped growing. 

Between growth spurts and hormone fluctuations, they always seemed to keep growing. So I just kept them. 

I'm very grateful today, as a woman that I kept what are mine 😉👙.

Sophie ❤️

[SideSet]

I also was curious. Conflicted and confused, too. I did not ask anyone either. It was too hard for me to acknowledge. 

It seems as if was too hard for most of our parents, except Sophie’s mom.