Author Topic: my gyne story- sad but true  (Read 3356 times)

Offline fedTHU

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Just found this site. Glad I did too, lets me know i'm not alone and gives me an opportunity to talk about my gynecomastia, as this is something I've been unable to do with anyone before.
I'm 35 years old, 5'10'', about 75kgs( about 166 lbs I guess)and I have gynecomastia and always had since puberty. My boobs are great, if I was a woman! They're more than a handful , they jiggle, they're round and perky . Just one little problem- they're attached to ME!
I've been teased as a kid, teased as an adolescent and teased as an adult because of them.
Somehow my whole life revolves around them. I can't wear clothes I want to, always something larger, never fitted/slim. I can't perform activities that I enjoy without taking them into consideration- never have my shirt off, EVER, even for running, the beach/pool( which I love), exercising or even on a hot day. My social life has been basically non existent since puberty due to zero self confidence. And the hardest part is i'm still a virgin because of it. I've just never wanted to have to undress in front a woman then have her laugh at me or have bigger boobs than her.  People are always saying how good looking I am, but that's definitely NOT how I feel. Thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind as I feel living with it is beyond my control.
It's easy to say it's just fat and glands, it's just a  physical flaw, but living in a society where flat/muscular chest is perceived a being masculine and anything else is feminine, along with being teased, really messed me up. Being older has given me the strength to say that I shouldn't care what others say/think. I just need to move from saying it to believing it.
Surgery is not an option for me at this point in my life, as financially it would be impossible, due to my circumstances.
Anyways, thanks to this site I've had the opportunity to just write out what I feel and to know that i'm not alone , and that hopefully, one day,this can give me some incentive to start living a normal life and accept it for what it is

Offline Dr. Elliot Jacobs

  • Elliot W. Jacobs, MD, FACS
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    • Gynecomastia Surgery
Welcome to the forum.  You will meet many sympathetic brethren here -- many of whom have stories similar to yours.

It seems that you are making attempts to learn how to deal with your moobs and to get on with your life.  That is difficult, but you will meet (and hear) from many men who have done just that.  While gyne is a physical condition it also plays havoc on one's mind and one's self esteem.  If surgery is not possible for you, then try wearing a snug compression garment to provide a better shape for you.  Yes, it does have some limitations as regards typical no-shirt activities such as swimming and intimacy, but it may help you in many other ways.

As you said, you have to work from "saying it to believing it."  The first step in learning to accept your gyne is to talk about it -- and you have found the perfect place right here.

Good luck and again, welcome.

Dr Jacobs

« Last Edit: July 13, 2013, 04:04:21 PM by Dr. Elliot Jacobs »
Dr. Jacobs 
Certified: American Board of Plastic Surgery
Fellow: American College of Surgeons
Practice sub-specialty in Gynecomastia Surgery
4800 North Federal Highway
Boca Raton, Florida 33431
561  367 9101
Email:  dr.j@elliotjacobsmd.com
Website:  http://www.gynecomastiasurgery.com
Website:  http://www.gynecomastianewyork.c

Offline fedTHU

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Thanks for the warm welcome Dr. Jacobs. I have read a lot of stories here similar to mine, eases my mind somewhat to know i'm not a freak of nature .
Talking about this to anyone is impossible, until now.
I have actually tried compression garments. They do help, but still, at least in my view, not enough. My moobs appear to have a broad base, where it stretches from the breast bone right across to under my arm. When I wear compression garments, it squashes the moobs a bit but creates a gap between them and makes the chest area look like one big block as opposed to two humps. I'm not a large person. I do have a little tummy which is intentional as I find that it makes my moobs  appear less protrusive with my top on. I guess I might be labelled as ''skinny fat'' in that regard.
I think just getting this all out there is helping my anxiety a bit, maybe because it's an anonymous setting lol . Time will tell.
I hope one day to be able to afford surgery, which in itself comes with it's own set of questions. What kind of surgery will I need- lipo/excision/both? Will I wake up from the anesthesia? How will my chest look after? Will I have that crater look? Will I be happier then?
Hope to be able to gain some confidence by at least chatting about it here and see how that goes.
Thanks in advance to anyone who reads/posts

hammer

  • Guest
There are some very good surgeons like Dr. Jacobs that would having you looking like a new person, but I know that isn't something that you can afford right now!

I'm sorry to hear you've lived in such hardship over this! I've had it all my life myself, but have never alowed anyone to make me a blunt of their jokes! I did 11 years in the military, fathered 5 have 3 grandchildren, still very happily married to my wife, owned a construction company lived a very normal life until disability took my out of the game 15 years ago. I have grown to double Ds and I have not let the fear of surgery or cost stop me from having it, I've been busy having other more important surgeries, at least in my eyes.

You know, those bumps on that chest are made up of extra breast tissue, fat and skin and by no way make you the man that you are! It is what is in your heart and mind that makes the man that you are!

God bless you, and I pray for the very best to you as well!
Bob

Offline fedTHU

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Thank you Hammer (Bob) for your kind words. I read quite a lot of your responses on here. You do seem to have accepted your gyne, That's great man!  Wish it was that easy for me, maybe in time I will.

hammer

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In time my friend, and we are here to help!

Offline fedTHU

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Thanks again my friend.

Offline crow

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  • All a big help thanks
Welcome to the forum.  You will meet many sympathetic brethren here -- many of whom have stories similar to yours.

It seems that you are making attempts to learn how to deal with your moobs and to get on with your life.  That is difficult, but you will meet (and hear) from many men who have done just that.  While gyne is a physical condition it also plays havoc on one's mind and one's self esteem.  If surgery is not possible for you, then try wearing a snug compression garment to provide a better shape for you.  Yes, it does have some limitations as regards typical no-shirt activities such as swimming and intimacy, but it may help you in many other ways.

As you said, you have to work from "saying it to believing it."  The first step in learning to accept your gyne is to talk about it -- and you have found the perfect place right here.

Good luck and again, welcome.

Dr Jacobs


Could you please read my post under stoyies the crow thank you
This is a great site and all should be proud to take part........

Offline crow

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  • Posts: 332
  • All a big help thanks
Just found this site. Glad I did too, lets me know i'm not alone and gives me an opportunity to talk about my gynecomastia, as this is something I've been unable to do with anyone before.
I'm 35 years old, 5'10'', about 75kgs( about 166 lbs I guess)and I have gynecomastia and always had since puberty. My boobs are great, if I was a woman! They're more than a handful , they jiggle, they're round and perky . Just one little problem- they're attached to ME!
I've been teased as a kid, teased as an adolescent and teased as an adult because of them.
Somehow my whole life revolves around them. I can't wear clothes I want to, always something larger, never fitted/slim. I can't perform activities that I enjoy without taking them into consideration- never have my shirt off, EVER, even for running, the beach/pool( which I love), exercising or even on a hot day. My social life has been basically non existent since puberty due to zero self confidence. And the hardest part is i'm still a virgin because of it. I've just never wanted to have to undress in front a woman then have her laugh at me or have bigger boobs than her.  People are always saying how good looking I am, but that's definitely NOT how I feel. Thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind as I feel living with it is beyond my control.
It's easy to say it's just fat and glands, it's just a  physical flaw, but living in a society where flat/muscular chest is perceived a being masculine and anything else is feminine, along with being teased, really messed me up. Being older has given me the strength to say that I shouldn't care what others say/think. I just need to move from saying it to believing it.
Surgery is not an option for me at this point in my life, as financially it would be impossible, due to my circumstances.
Anyways, thanks to this site I've had the opportunity to just write out what I feel and to know that i'm not alone , and that hopefully, one day,this can give me some incentive to start living a normal life and accept it for what it is
Sorry to hear, If I had the money I would help you but I also have this issue..If you do decide please make sure the dr is very experienced as  the ones listed here.You don't want multiple OPS and money after money spent.But keep your head up you can be corrected and be happy just get the right Dr.Good luck


 

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