Author Topic: cursed  (Read 1833 times)

Offline nobug

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Hello there, ..

im 21 years old, I have always been normal weight, im short guy.. I have had gynecomastia since I remember.. Always when I looked down, I saw fucking boobs. I was wearing t-shirts with text over it (happily im metalhead so metal tshirts comes handy) and most of the time I was wearing jacket anyway.. I have never accepted my condition. I did my best to cover it up. I always wanted to just give up... accept it and walk like nothing is going on but I couldn't! If some1 asked me out, I would not go if weather was hot and I would need to take of jacket (otherwise dealing questions like isn't it hot enough? why u wearing jacket blabla.. BECAUSE I GOT BOOBS not a nice person AND YOU DONT)
I ended up with just very few friends, (not because they abandoned me, but my breasts made me separate from others.. it was my decision in order to keep my secret) who definitely noticed xD but never heard anything out loud since I did make everything to cover it up and they were not comfortable to pull it out I guess..

Best of all is, when you read threats where people are posting photos and asking: "is this gyno? i think i might have.. " then I open photo and see nothing! no boobs at all or just very tiny ones.. When I imagine what I had to deal with! ahhhh or people who advice to just accept it and act like nothing happened. lol! this people dont obviously have my kind of gyno. This advices are pointless.. My opinion is, if disabled people do shit goals and they try to be someone even with their disability, I dont find it brave. I find it selfish. I mean.. even gay people, walking down the street showing off to everyone that they are gays, and they dont feel shame for it, or just go on wheelchair and compete in race or something.. same with gyno, if I would see guy who walks brave shirtless with gyno.. I dont know i dont find it brave. what about other people who is he hanging out with? I dont believe other friends wouldn't mind if I dont care about my condition. I believe they would appreciate much more if I try to hide it and not do the opposite. at least not to embarass them too.. man with boobs is just weird and I hate it :/. But, I dont want to judge - i have seen other people's photos with small gyno.. or my father has gyno too, but.. its kind of different. he has not boobs like me, he is older and he looks alright. nobody really care he has good life after all. It depends on gyno type and size I guess..
Many times happened I walked down the street, with bags from grocery, both hands in use.. My breasts were so visible!! I usually put my hand under the tshirt andjust kept it on my belly pulling tshirt off my chest.. But sometimes I couldn't because of bags.. and then my friends came towards me, I had no chance to cover up, I was literally dying of shame. I could not talk I didn't know what to do...... Moobs aren't going to be okay. doctors said "it will dissapear" yeah of course it will, faggots! living like caveman for over 8 years maybe even more idk.. yeah still waiting. and looking at my father's chest reminds me that there is no hope for disappearing and what doctor said must be fucking bullshit.

ehm so.. now my lovely parents noticed my problem (took quite a long time tho) and they covered the surgery which I will have to pay back ofc.
I had surgery 2 days ago, process was simple, very kind people. I visited two places, first, it was an old man, he asked me to get xray and then sent me home.. I was traveling 3 hours to get this answer! He could have told me over the phone right? well, I get pissed of and I headed to different place. There, doctor was very kind, talked to me and explained everything. Surgery was 2 days ago, it was painless.. starts at half past 12 (1,5 hour, lipo + removing that bloody things from my chest) and I woke up at 5 pm.. nurse came in and asked me if I am alright, I said yes but I need a fag, she said okay and took me for a fag with her and her friends nurses, then she called me taxi and I get home. First day after, I had troubles to get up from bed, second day it was better and now I can lay down on my own , get up on my own. I haven't seen results so far, I must wear vest. Hopefully its going to be okay. ahhh.. I wish this is over. i want to live normal life finally. please even I am mad person and sometimes I use offensive words, understand how hard it sucks to have bloody moobs. I could imagine a gay person could jerk off on me lol. I felt like crap all my life. Now, hopefully its going to be good and hopefully it wont come back! :/ cheers guys thats my story.

btw: vest I am wearing, would be very practical for even covering moobs!its very tight and I think it would help look better with tshirt. If you guys can't afford surgery at the moment, you could really try wear this vest
« Last Edit: March 06, 2017, 02:59:41 PM by nobug »

 

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