Author Topic: Comments or advice or support from family or friends  (Read 2710 times)

Offline Gotboobs

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We have family in Santa Fe. It’s the only place that we go that I feel relaxed about my boobs. I wear a white bra with a white tank top. Bra shows thru, straps show on the sides and no one cares at all. Even the Native Americans selling their wares in the plaza never bat a eye. Now when I go braless I do get some looks. Mostly because of the movement and my headlights on 24/7. Sometimes I get a little self conscious about it. So I wear a bra most of the time when out and about. I have seen men in skirts and dresses in Santa Fe, so my bra isn’t a big deal at all. 
I have started wearing my underwire and push up bras there also. Such a free place!
I love it there.

Brdy64

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Last night a good friend of mine spent about 2hrs on the phone trying to convince me that surgery is my only option. 
That my breasts are just getting too big and everyone notices them. 
I tried explaining to him that surgery only removes one part of the equation. The hormonal stew that caused everything to begin with will still remain. I'll still be the same person I am right now, I just wouldn't have boobs anymore. 
My hourglass figure would still be there, my likes and interests, emotions, etc...
Surgery doesn't remove all that. 
He can't understand why I have no interest in surgery. 😐

Basically, I like me just the way I am 😉

Offline HeldUp

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What was their reason that they felt the need to express their "recommendation"?

Brdy64

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What was their reason that they felt the need to express their "recommendation"?
He has a problem with having a friend with boobs I guess 🤔

Offline HeldUp

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So he didn't say. How childish. I'd say "give me a good reason I have to pay 10,000 dollars out of pocket, go through post-op care for months, hope that the plastic surgeon's work doesn't leave me with other issues, and hope that my chest doesn't start growing again? Since you're so insistent, you must have an excellent reason that I am just unable to fathom after living with boobs my whole life."

Brdy64

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My real response would actually be that I rather 'enjoy' having them now, of course I didn't tell my friend that. 
I told him that I have totally accepted my boobs, and if surgery was offered to me tomorrow I would refuse. I don't want surgery, I'm okay with it. 
My friend can't fathom that in the least, but that's his problem. 
If he is no longer able to visit because of the 'optics' of it, so be it. 

Offline HeldUp

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I totally get it, Birdie and your conversation is yours and you got your point across I'm sure. My brain would go that direction, because if someone is so insistent that their opinion is the "right one" I need more than "I just think so". In making them answer that kind of question, maybe they think through it and come to some other conclusion, or maybe I learn something about them that helps me understand where they're coming from (trauma, fear, misunderstanding, etc.). But I'm fine arguing, it's a part of my ENTP brain. :)

Brdy64

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I totally get it, Birdie and your conversation is yours and you got your point across I'm sure. My brain would go that direction, because if someone is so insistent that their opinion is the "right one" I need more than "I just think so". In making them answer that kind of question, maybe they think through it and come to some other conclusion, or maybe I learn something about them that helps me understand where they're coming from (trauma, fear, misunderstanding, etc.). But I'm fine arguing, it's a part of my ENTP brain. :)
Yeah, I guess I'm not much on arguing. I state my points, listen to theirs, and restate my points after careful consideration.
From that point on most people just call me stubborn as I do my own thing anyways.
I basically lost a friend and gained an acquaintance.
That individual will not longer come and visit because he doesn't want to be 'seen' with me. It's the optics of it.
I found out his views on gender, and they are black & white without a gray zone. We still talk on the phone because we can find other subjects to speak about, but he's not someone I can talk about anything personal. 😉
« Last Edit: May 11, 2023, 06:41:09 PM by 💁 ♂️ Birdie »

Offline gotgyne

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I can camouflage my 40C cup with a minimizer very good and even since some time without any bra my breasts are not very visible with a lumberjack shirt. My experience with a former female workmate who noticed my bra was not very good since I told her about my gender dysphoria too. I better shouldn't have done this.
A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts.


 

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