Author Topic: Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ?  (Read 4001 times)

Offline Rich meier

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My wife likes to do that, but a course 2 can play that game

Offline SideSet

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John and busty, sorry that happened to you. It is sexual harassment. When that happened to me in school, I wasn’t about to go tell on the boys to school administration.  I mean, no way was I going to go in and report that they were groping my breasts and nipples. 

I became very conscious of what I wore so as to try to minimize showing my breasts and nipples. I started to wear too-tight  undershirts under my shirts so as to try to flatten and minimize movement of my breasts. 

Such attempts to conceal and contain were only partially successful and then not at all successful.  One of my sexual harassers told me to stop wearing those tight undershirts under my shirts. When I again wore one the next day,  he gave me a quick rabbit punch to my breast that brought tears to my eyes, hurt for days, and caused a big purple then yellow bruise to spread from around my areola over a sizable area of my breast.

I stopped wearing undershirts all together and went back to unfettered jiggling, frequent nipping out, and freer access to my breasts and nipples.  But, the difference was that before I was oblivious, but now I was making a conscious decision, so very aware.

It made me feel embarrassed and ashamed, and the only thing that made it a little bit easier, was that I recognized that I had given in, was no longer fighting it or looking to find ways to solve my problem, and so was instead just resigned. 

Offline Johndoe1

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Thanks Sideset. Yes, it is sexual harassment or even sexual assault. I have had several women through the years think it was perfectly acceptable, uninvited, to slide their hands around and/or over my breasts or even cup them and give a little squeeze or a jiggle. I don't know what they are thinking. They would never tolerate that behavior themselves so I am not sure why they think I would?

And growing up, boys would be finding ways to touch my breasts. And even a couple of times after I reached adulthood.

But in private, in an intimate setting, it can be very pleasurable.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

aboywithgirls

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I know this ALL too well. I went through it as a teen who wore a bra his last two years of high school (I wore a 36D when I graduated). I went through this as an adult male. There was no possibility of enough camouflage to hide my girls. I can tell you now, as a woman of transgender experience, policies and laws are in place for our protection, however, there are both men and women who cannot control themselves when it comes to their urges and obsession with boobs!

Like John, I truly enjoy the pleasures that come with appropriate touchin and affection in an intimate setting. It kinda makes the bad stuff worth having them.

your sister,
Sophie❤🤗🥰

Online 42CSurprise!

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I guess John and Sophie are in the ? territory from the title... suggesting that beyond appreciation there can be pleasure found in having breasts.  Perhaps it is a small compensation for a lifetime of confusion and discomfort, but it is a victory of sorts.  Instead of feeling shame one can have a partner who also accepts us... even finds pleasure in our breasts... the delightful play of intimacy.  This is one of the things that SideSet touched on in his thread I am my own girlfriend.  As a man not in an intimate relationship at the moment, the pleasure I derive from the breasts held in a well fitting brassiere is personal, not shared.  Perhaps that is why I started this thread and the title ends with the question mark.  There is more than appreciation... not so much that I want to transition to becoming a woman, as Sophie has done, but it has an erotic component... the thing not often talked about on the board.  I heard it described on a website devoted to transgender topics including crossdressing and transitioning as auto-eroticism... a fascination with one's own self, one's own body.  I quite marvel at the breasts filling the front of the turtleneck I'm wearing... one I've shown in a photo I posted on another thread.  Where did those voluptous breasts come from?  This is all in the question mark territory, so I'll leave it there.  I'm just noting that there is something beyond Appreciation that can be found on this journey.  

Offline Rich meier

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to those that got there nipples twisted in school, did the boys do that to the girls too or just the boys that had breasts and big nipples. just wondering

Offline SideSet

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No, in my case, they did not twist the girls’ nipples. I was very aware of that unfairness and felt singled out and alone.  Sometimes I used to think that it was because the girls all wore bras, and if I was wearing a bra, it would protect me.


Offline Rich meier

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I am sure if they did that to the girls there would have been big trouble. they probably did you cayse they thiyght and knew they could get away with it

Offline SideSet

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I agree they probably knew they couldn’t get away with that with the girls.  I also feel there were other factors, including attitudes of that time and things about me that made them think they could get away with it with me, and they were right.

I was always put on the skins team for PE, so day in and day out, the whole class was always seeing my bare breasts jiggling and bouncing and my nipples getting hard in the cold air.  And as it happened time and time again, I believe my feelings were morphing from shame and embarrassment to toleration and acceptance.  You can’t live in a daily state of shame and embarrassment; you have to find ways to tolerate and accept.


Sometimes I would stand topless in front of the mirror home alone and move like I did in PE, so I could see what everyone in class was seeing. As my nipples would become saluted on my pointy breasts,  sometimes I would joke to myself be careful you don’t poke somebody’s eye out with that.  Or I might think to myself how they must enjoy seeing my naked breasts jiggle and bounce.

  I did not enjoy being forced to put on a “titty show,” as I called it to myself.  But who was I going to complain to, the PE teacher? That would make it worse. The principal,  who would certainly side with the teacher?  So, over and over I put on my “titty shows,” and I just accepted that was the way it was.

As 42CSurprise!  correctly notes, I did come to appreciate having breasts, but over time, and as a more knowledgeable, personal pleasure as I described in my posts about being own girlfriend.

Looking back on it, though, I have also come to realize how submissive I was.  For example, I was told if I didn’t want my nipples twisted I had to ask for my nipples to be pulled, so I meekly asked. I was told to wear tops that my nipples would poke through, so I did.

It made an impression on me that, when I was deciding what to wear to school, I would now look in the mirror to make sure I was sufficiently  nipping out, whereas before, I had paid no attention. When  I now would see my nipples very much poking through a certain top, and while my instinct would be not to wear it,  I would instead consciously choose to wear it because I did not want to be hurt. 

On bad days when my nipples had been twisted, I would go home afterwards and look in the mirror and worry my nipples did not poke through my top enough and probably I should not wear that top again.  I would  soothe my nipples with my Lansinoh and wonder what I had done wrong. Should I have asked more  convincingly to have my nipples pulled. I would tell myself to do better tomorrow. 

Days when my nipples were pulled I would go home and look approvingly in the mirror at how noticeably I was nipping out.  I would then pull to see how it feels to pull on my nipples and I would begin to appreciate how they got harder and thicker and even a little longer from the attention.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was learning to become my own girlfriend.








Offline Rich meier

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you are right about the principal and my guess the PE teacher was enjoying it and made you skins on purpose.niw a day that would be child abuse and wouldnt be put up with .It is a shame that it was allowed and probably encouraged.. I must confess that now I like playing with mine and pulling on them

Offline Rich meier

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did you or any of the others that got twisted tell your parents what was going on. I used to get twisted but by people I know. my wife still foes on ocassion but that  ges both ways. when I was working , every once in awhile they would twist me or try

Offline Busty

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Sideset, you were getting an education, although under duress, about how to present your breasts and how it feels to have them played with. 

Although I also had my nipples twisted, it was mild compared to what you experienced. I didn’t tell anybody. I thought telling would lead to more ridicule. Instead, while you were learning how to display your breasts and nipples, I was learning how to hide. Dark colors, thick materials are our friends 

Offline SideSet

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Yes, just like girls and women do, I also was learning how to accentuate my breasts. I found when I wore light colored thinner tops, I seemed to only get my nipples pulled and not twisted. I also paid attention to how size and style of tops drew attention to or tended to obscure my breasts and nipples and made sure to wear tops that emphasized my boobs, because again I noticed a correlation with tending more to play with than hurt my nipples. 

When I knew I would not be around my abusers, I used the knowledge I was gaining to wear tops that more camouflaged. 

I have to confess, that as Rich Meier noted, I also found it can feel pleasurable when someone nicely plays with your nipples.  Even though I was experiencing sexual harassment, sometimes I felt a tingling and pleasure.  That was very conflicting and confusing, but I tried to learn what I may have done that caused them to nicely treat my nipples and I tried to replicate and build on that as much as possible.  I figured if I had to let this happen to me, better it feel good as opposed to hurt.  And if I am being completely honest, there was a part of me that felt more empowered and not a victim when I could positively effect the interaction. 

Online 42CSurprise!

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I was thinking earlier today SideSet about the power girls have because of their breast development.  Granted, when a boy develops breasts it is unusual, a source of concern and even shame.  But even in the circumstances you describe it seems you found empowerment.  We have no idea what it was about for the boys who seemed to take pleasure in "pulling" your nipples.  I expect most of us had a fixation about women's breasts when we were young.  I know I took every opportunity to ogle the woman living next door who wore in the summertime shorts and a halter top that overflowed with voluptuous breasts.  Perhaps boys inhibited around girls felt they could take advantage of you and get their jollies.  These situations are so complicated simply by the fact that sexuality is such uncharted territory for adolescent boys and girls.  It is all experimentation and confusion.  That confusion is especially evident for boys with fleshy chests and budding breasts.

I'm sorry you received the attention you did.  All we can ever do is make the best of circumstances in which we find ourselves.  That is why finding acceptance is so important.  We've experienced enough confusion and shame to last a lifetime.  Now it is time to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion.  IF we find appreciation and pleasure along the way, all the better.

Offline blad

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you are right about the principal and my guess the PE teacher was enjoying it and made you skins on purpose.niw a day that would be child abuse and wouldnt be put up with .It is a shame that it was allowed and probably encouraged.. I must confess that now I like playing with mine and pulling on them
I was on the skins team so often it was statistically impossible that it was random.

Clearly the gym instructors enjoyed the view.
If the bra fits, wear it.


 

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