How to stay confident

[aboywithgirls]

My best advice cause it’s what worked for me is if you are self conscious or lacking confidence with it. Challenge yourself to going places and wearing what you want to wear and just letting it be out there. You’ll notice quickly unless you’re a D cup or so more than not no one notices or glances etc. braless or in a bra. I believe self confidence is hand in hand with self awareness and when you become aware that your self isn’t being seen as you see or worry about by others you’ll develop a bit of a F it attitude and just enjoy what ya got instead of worrying

Yes, yes, and yes!

I had to adopt the "F it" attitude early on. It was the only thing I could do. I  did attempt the camouflage method at first. I would wear loose, baggy clothing or multiple layers to try hiding my bra. Warmer months were brutal! Eventually they layers came off and most would not confront me about it. Men never would unless they were making a point to single me out as a teen which how they delt with there own insecurities. Depending on the situation, if a woman would ask, it was either out of pure curiosity or she was gathering information for gossip which would also be for her to feel better about herself so she could avoid dealing with her own issues. 

When I was approached about my bra, it was some variation of "are you wearing a bra?" or "why are you wearing a bra?". It was usually a woman so I would  reply "yes, I am, aren't you? I wear one to support my breasts. Don't you?". This is wear my "F-it" attitude was born.

I became more and more open about wearing a bra. No more layers, loose, baggy clothing. I began even wearing ladies button down blouses and slacks and jeans. 

I only have one body and since puberty has had a feminine figure. I make no excuses or apologies for being me. I have made a few "changes" that have corrected a "birth defect" but, very proud of  who I am today.

Just be you and be proud of who you are. 

Your sister, 
Sophie 🥰🤗

[Rich meier]

well said

[tryingtoaccept]

Acceptance for me is still an ongoing battle.  I really think mine are a combination of both fat and true gyne, but that is a story for another day.  It still makes me anxious when I am in a social setting and having a shirt that is being clingy but it is bothering me less as time goes on.

I have said all of that to set the stage.  I have learned and keep reminding myself that people will judge you regardless.  I also keep reminding myself that most people do not even notice.  I have experimented with going in public; in an area nobody would no me.  I purposely wore a tight t-shirt and watched peoples faces.  I saw most people that looked at me was just looking as they passed.  None of them gave a judgmental look or even gave me a second glance.  That experiment and coming here and reading other peoples stories has shown me that nobody cares.

It is still an ongoing battle but I now totally understand the anxiety is all in my head.  Stay strong and know you are not alone and try your own experiments to prove to yourself that the anxiety is in your mind and reality is that nobody really cares.  The few people that do care have no idea who you are and will probably never see you again.

[SideSet]

tryingtoaccept,

You and your wife might wish to talk about you trying a bra just around the house. 

[tryingtoaccept]

My wife has never said anything about me getting a bra and I don’t know how she would react.  I am nervous about bringing it up, if they get bigger and she doesn’t say anything then I will have to bring it up.  The thought of having that conversation is embarrassing to me but I know it will have to be discussed at some point.  That point may have to be sooner than later.

[oldguy]

My wife has never said anything about me getting a bra and I don’t know how she would react.  I am nervous about bringing it up, if they get bigger and she doesn’t say anything then I will have to bring it up.  The thought of having that conversation is embarrassing to me but I know it will have to be discussed at some point.  That point may have to be sooner than later.

I had pain in left breast, around 7 years ago.  I had a mammogram.  I was diagnosed with gynecomastia.  The PA was a woman and recommended that I wear a bra for support.  She wrote a note to my wife of her recommendation.  That is all it took.  Now I have the same pain in my right.  Mammogram was scheduled for May and now in July, due to the backlog from covid.  I know it's embarrassing to fill out all the pink sheets that ask about your last menstrual and stuff, in a room full of women.  And having it done isn't fun either.  They really squish them.  It's just a few hours and then you know about your breasts.  A note from doctor can really help your wife understand.

[Aussie63]

Acceptance for me is still an ongoing battle.  I really think mine are a combination of both fat and true gyne, but that is a story for another day.  It still makes me anxious when I am in a social setting and having a shirt that is being clingy but it is bothering me less as time goes on.

I have said all of that to set the stage.  I have learned and keep reminding myself that people will judge you regardless.  I also keep reminding myself that most people do not even notice.  I have experimented with going in public; in an area nobody would no me.  I purposely wore a tight t-shirt and watched peoples faces.  I saw most people that looked at me was just looking as they passed.  None of them gave a judgmental look or even gave me a second glance.  That experiment and coming here and reading other peoples stories has shown me that nobody cares.

It is still an ongoing battle but I now totally understand the anxiety is all in my head.  Stay strong and know you are not alone and try your own experiments to prove to yourself that the anxiety is in your mind and reality is that nobody really cares.  The few people that do care have no idea who you are and will probably never see you again.

You can also be judged in a good way but it is probably far less common. benusa recently told us about some negative experiences that he went through, no doubt due to the ignorance of those people who crossed his path. But, if I ever walked past a guy at the airport who was obviously wearing a bra because he obviously needed to, I'd like to say in passing, "I'm with you, brother." Such a comment would probably be intrusive but I know that if I was the recipient, it would be welcome.

Hopefully, one day, we will reach critical mass.