Author Topic: Has anybody else told nobody - and wants to keep it that way?  (Read 19025 times)

Offline Cellar_Door

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Some good advice I once heard: don't undress yourself in public.

Except I mean it purely metaphorically. Don't reveal to people your weaknesses, because even if you trust them now, you truly do not know how that relationship will pan out over the coming years, and you may find yourself no longer friends, or even enemies, with that person. You don't want them knowing your weaknesses, with the power to tell other people.

So, if you want to tell someone about your gyno, keep it to your parents, or a very close friend - if even that.

Just my advice. Possibly, some of you have different experiences and beliefs.
Surgery completed. Mission accomplished!
2/6/09. Dr. Karidis, UK.

Offline GynosaurusRex

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I agree with the philosopy but your gnyo can`t really be used against you for anything major. Maybe someone makes fun of you - that is pretty much the worst thing that can happen.

It is like making fun of someone for wearing glasses or contacts - when the person gets LASIK.

Offline Merangue

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I agree, I haven't discussed this with anyone outside my family. I don't even know why I would. It wouldn't change anything.

Offline ozymandias

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I keep it in my family.  This is like Omerta to me, Mafia stuff.  No one knows except the ones closest to me!   ;D

However after surgery I think some of my 'friends with benefits' will see the difference!

Offline Cellar_Door

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I keep it in my family.  This is like Omerta to me, Mafia stuff.  No one knows except the ones closest to me!   ;D

However after surgery I think some of my 'friends with benefits' will see the difference!

Nice one. Count yourself lucky if you don't have blabber-mouth family members, like I do. I know a secret couldn't last with my mother, unfortunately. I'd have no choice but to have her whacked. Oh, maronna!

Offline boobylon

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i hid it from the world for 23 yrs, and had surgery last week, still only my wife knows, its good to keep some secrets,

Offline Cellar_Door

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i hid it from the world for 23 yrs, and had surgery last week, still only my wife knows, its good to keep some secrets,

Better late than never! Well done for getting it done.

Offline ChrisB

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I haven't told anyone except the girlfriend because she questioned why I was always never bare chested.
I've hidden it from friends and family.
The most challenging is hiding it from my former work mates, doing manual work in the heat and wearing some form of jacket or fleece.

Offline gofast_er

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I have never told anyone....except the one serious gf I had where I had to take my shirt off in front of her. I have wanted to talk to my parents about it since I was about 14 (now almost 29) but to this day I still can't. I keep trying though.

Offline Cellar_Door

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I have never told anyone....except the one serious gf I had where I had to take my shirt off in front of her. I have wanted to talk to my parents about it since I was about 14 (now almost 29) but to this day I still can't. I keep trying though.

Do you plan to get the surgery?

Offline BadCaseGyno

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I agree that the key to staying strong is to never allow others to exploit your weaknesses. That being said, the best way to do that is to not tell anyone and don't let them find out. The only exception I can see is your family. Your family will love you unconditionally, your friends will not.

Offline WishmasterK

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I guess im just different, but I wouldn't want any friends that I couldn't be totally open with, if I have to hide part of myself, I think they are probably hiding part of themselves as well. Which means I don't know them as much as I thought I did, so does that mean they are really friends and not just some folks a hang out with?

Im fairly idealistic though.

Offline Curiousone89

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Some good advice I once heard: don't undress yourself in public.

Except I mean it purely metaphorically. Don't reveal to people your weaknesses, because even if you trust them now, you truly do not know how that relationship will pan out over the coming years, and you may find yourself no longer friends, or even enemies, with that person. You don't want them knowing your weaknesses, with the power to tell other people.

So, if you want to tell someone about your gyno, keep it to your parents, or a very close friend - if even that.

Just my advice. Possibly, some of you have different experiences and beliefs.

I have to say I disagree with you, gyne isn't a matter of life or death now is it? ;/

I told all my friends I was having surgery, at first I was making it up but then I thought what's the point? It was there before, and when it won't be there one day they're gonna ask where it went. I told them and they supported me. In fact 3 of them (kid you not) want my doctor's name cause he did a good job.

It's good to let out some things, i'm not saying to tell complete strangers, but a friend who would use the gyne thing against you isn't really a friend

Offline BoneBleached

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  • Even Fools Are Right Sometimes.
Well a couple weeks ago I told one of my supposed to be good friends, he just started laughing hysterically, he is naturally a male thingy and sometimes I reconsider his friendship, he has no respect for people with disabilities either, my wife cant stand how he talks of retarded people and disabled people, her sister was born with issues with her arms and fingers, her sister is dead now, he didn't know that the first time he opened his mouth and she about kicked his ass lol.

I was hoping telling him would stop him from talking about how I have breasts. I wasn't too happy when he just started laughing like crazy, and his comments, I really hated him at that time.

Another couple guys who I wouldn't call friends would make comments so I told them hoping it would stop them but it seems letting people in on the secret just makes the problem worse, especially if you're in the military like me it seems nobody is sympathetic at all, I consider myself sympathetic and I just think making fun of people for things they cant help is so childish and messed up.

My advice would be to only tell family, some friends just aren't capable of understanding.
Tired of being that one link that just cant break

Offline Paa_Paw

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Your Mother was being wise, not stupid.

The more our condition is generally known and understood the less misunderstood and stigmatized we are.

Your mother was, and probably still is, the predominant teacher in your life; if she is stupid, then you are obviously stupid as well.

I do not believe you or your Mother are stupid.  You simply had a disagreement.

Unless you specifically asked her to keep the matter confidential, it was information which she could share. The first person to shoot off their mouth about your condition was not your mother, it was you.

Grandpa Dan


 

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