Author Topic: Self acceptance  (Read 7503 times)


  • Guest
Bummed, no one gives a damn about how you look!  I've worked in law enforcement and if you have 10 witnesses,  you have at less 9 different stores because no one sees what is going on around them, because they are just like you! They are so wrapped up into their own life and the bull crap that is consuming their mind  they don't give a damn about what is going on with your chest!

Yes, right now you are focused on other men's chest and trying to find others with big ones as big as yours, but you are to consumed with your own I don't believe you can  "see the Forest through the trees"!

I'm not a professional, but from reading some of your post I'm beginning to think you are so overwhelmed with this that you may need to see someone about this! I mean no disrespect, but I seems as though you are almost to the point you want to fight about it!

You are stuck on the point that you and only a few others are the only guys that are thin and have breasts! Stop judging, and move on!

Get yourself some help, be it surgery or other type, but we don't need this judgment or fighting going on about you being the only guy being thin and developin breast!


  • Guest
Tiger Paws and Hammer gave you good advice. Any guy that has gynocomastia has gone through the same thing. If surgery is an option, definitely look into it. If not you will have other alternatives. If you opt to wear a bra, so what. You say you live in the Midwest.  Try living in a beach community most of your life. I went through the five stages of grief,(denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). After almost 50 years I still sometimes bounce between acceptance and depression. If you live your life worrying what other people might think you are letting them live in your head rent free. You will not be living your own life,but the life others dictate to you. If you can't get around the depression maybe you should seek professional help. There's no shame in that. 50 years ago there were no forums like this to go to. Take advantage of them. Remember, you're not alone.


  • Guest
Seriously folks, I don't think my problem is any more than not accepting what has happened to my body - not depression.
I have never followed trends or the latest "it" thing, and never worried about what most people thought. I always did my own thing in my own way.
However, during those 50+ years, I was nice and average. Decent body and average looks, so I never stood out from the crowd. I'm an introvert, so that suits me just fine - I don't have or want a large social group.
Now though, I am no longer average. I'm still in very good shape for my age, and other than venous insufficiency, I don't have any known health issues. I do, however, have a woman's chest that is apparently going to keep getting bigger, and that makes me no longer able to blend into the background.
So for me, this is the first time in my life I have no choice but to stand out, and as an introvert, it's quite disconcerting.
I have not been able to accept the result of what is happening, so life is still in flux.
Logically, since it's not a health issue, I shouldn't care about it, but as a major departure from my previous life, it's VERY different.


  • Guest
As I've said many times before, truth be told, others don't notice you like you think they do, and those that do don't give a shit about it anyway!

Bummed I've been living with this all my life including my years in the Navy while living on a ship in a room with 46 other men, while in uniform of law enforcement at county fairs, and you don't get more public then that! And as a Navy diver, I was not a fat man either!

You need to stop thinking that everyone is looking at you and sees your imperfections, as everyone has them, and no one really cares.

It's time to move on to a solution of how do you move on from this point?


Offline TigerPaws

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I shouldn't care about it, but as a major departure from my previous life, it's VERY different.

Regarding the statement above I am reasonably certain that most of us can totally relate to your feelings.

My breasts came on fairly quickly and even though I knew what was about to happen I had no idea what the results would be like. I was embarrassed and concerned as by breasts grew and developed. They hurt, were sore, itched and were very sensitive. They grew and grew over the first three years before settling at a 38D. And they continued to grow as I am now a 38DD and though it is less often, I still get sore, pain and itching.

I had no idea how big I would become or what shape and form my development would take, There were days when I thought that I could actually see the difference. It did not take long to begin to wear a sports bra but eventually I realized that I needed a regular bra, that initial fitting was a difficult but a necessary step.

Coming to grips with having breasts is not easy, but other than surgery what can be done?

Understanding and acceptance is generally the best course of action.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2016, 05:41:40 PM by TigerPaws »

Offline aboywithgirls

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I'm sorry that you're having a hard time coming to grips with having breasts. Having breasts doesn't mean that your going to be a woman. Wearing a bra is not going to make you a woman.
I've had mine since puberty. It wasn't very easy having the larges breasts in my class. It also wasn't easy going for my first fitting. I can still remember the fitter saying "that bra gives you a really nice shape". I was thinking "a nice shape?".
Hammer is right, other than surgery my options are a bra or a bra. I'm in a 36G and active so bra less is not an option. Which makes the decision easy. It's just a bra! 
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.


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