Author Topic: With trepidation, I suggest it really can be simple to have accord  (Read 2259 times)

TWO FRIENDS!

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Topic start in the  (? Vain) hope that we can stop arguing amongst ourselves about the focus and diversions on  this site?
Our fellow men come to this site seeking help with what they regard as a malady - growth of above average male breasts. Above average does not equate with abnormal

Some will seek their boobs disappearance or concealment. It could be said that they are out of place here in the sense that they are into denial rather than acceptance. Solutions start with plasters over nipples for comfort or look, through binders and ultimately surgery. Even surgery is not always the final answer as the other part of this site proves.

Others will be seeking comfort from jiggle and support of weight and relief of general discomfort. The stark truth is there are really only two options here :
1. Put up with it..... or
2. Wear a bra of whatever style or fabric works and yes, they hide nipples and stop jiggle and discomfort, however if the bra is to achieve this it will cause some increase in uplift and projection. Everything thing in life has trade off.

As I say the only real solution for those seeking acceptance of their assets and comfort is a bra and there should be no apology on this part of the site for saying that upfront loud and clear.
Acceptance has to take place between our own two ears first before we can move on to the only full acceptance solution that works - a bra.
Also we would be failing if we offered no comment to those who find there is more to gyne than breasts, but please do not subvert the topic again. I acknowledge all points of view but men primarily come to this site in the first instance for mental and physical support with breast growth. We must not fail them

I intend this to be my only contribution on this topic. All views welcome, but anyone seeking an argument will find they will be talking to themselves

TWO FRIENDS!

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William, you really  are a pain in the boobs!

You read, but don't comprehend..
If you take the context of the whole post you might understand that a bra IS the only solution for those seeking support and comfort. ie those with discomfort, pain and jiggle that they want refief from.
 Comprendez?

I will probably leave this site thanks to people like you. 
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom! 

Offline OHboobs

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Some will seek their boobs disappearance or concealment. It could be said that they are out of place here in the sense that they are into denial rather than acceptance. 
You say that you want accord, then attack those of us who don't wish to flaunt our breasts.  Nice.

TWO FRIENDS!

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Oh boobs
I am not saying that. Each to his own.
I I do not flaunt my boobs either though I do wear a bra.
In my own personal view I cannot equate binders etc with complete acceptance of what have sticking out front.

Its like someone  inviting me to  a function as an accepted guest only to find that I have to remain hidden behind the curtains.

Being discrete is one thing but deliberate and uncomfortable means  of hiding what we have got no way meets a definition of acceptance. Maybe a good coping mechanism (which I understand) but not complete acceptance

Nor am saying your view is unwelcome, it is very welcome and valid

I'm off now - sabbatical with view to pressing the delete account  button 
« Last Edit: October 04, 2020, 09:17:54 AM by TWO FRIENDS! »

TWO FRIENDS!

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William
Just read a number of your historical posts. They really are a rag bag of contradictory unreasoned views and comments
I wish I had explored earlier. I would not have wasted time trying to have a reasoned conversation.
As requested by others, learn to use the quote function properly or not at all it really messes up the task of trying to follow the thread

TWO FRIENDS!

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Sod the sabbatical idea I am leaving as of now before I post something that will get me banned.

Farewell to all the great posters there are. I wish you well

Offline JohannK

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I personally see merit in both sides.  To me it seems to be that you both became worked up a while ago, leading to this deadlock.  Anyway, if you're still reading this then I feel it's not really reason to quit the forum.  But it might help if one of you decide to step back a bit, and come back at a later stage.  Even though that might not be easy.

As for what I'm making of all this:

As I said in the other thread, I do get what William is saying.  Posts here by people who frequent the acceptance subforum (not going to go look who the people are, that's irrelevant) have been a bit pushy lately when it comes to wearing bras.  New members here can easily get driven away by that, leading to them not getting the help they were looking for.

On the other hand, I also get that a bra is in many ways the best solution.  Compression is known to be very uncomfortable and also unhealthy, and trying to ignore them can literally be a pain.  Surgery is also not an ideal way out.

All this being said, there are still those who would rather get surgery.  And those who don't want surgery might still be put off by people just saying "you belong in a bra".  For most men, wearing a bra is  pretty much inconceivable.  So my advice is to give those new members as much information as we can, so they can then make their own informed decisions.  And of course we can still be here for support if they don't go for surgery but can't make that move to wear a bra just yet.

Offline blad

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I have found that if a thread gets argumentative and spirals endlessly, the best thing is to stop posting and ignore it. This happens on many types of forums and is not unique to this one. Some people just have to keep posting and picking away at an idea, are never satisfied, and must have the last word. If everyone else stops responding to it then eventually it dies out. Unless they want to respond to themselves!

I shall follow my own advise.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Traveler

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Offline curiousk

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I’ve had breasts since I was 11 years old.   Chances are that if it would have been socially appropriate for boys that age to wear a bra, life would have been so much easier to handle having breasts.   Throughout my adult life, I’ve been trying to figure out a non surgical, garment depend way to deal with having C cup breasts. Again, a bra would have been the answer.   About a year ago, I decided that a bra, regardless of what everyone says, would be the best way to control my jiggling breasts.   I’m more comfortable and have control of my breasts.   I’ve adjusted my wardrobe accordingly like wearing women’s shirts as they have more room in the chest so I’m not constantly pulling on my shirts.   

Maybe because my low testosterone levels, I’m noticing some changes to my hips and butt.   So that might prompt me to change some things there as far as wardrobe.

I completely identify as a man and would not want to change genders, but I do want to wear clothing that is comfortable for my body.   I’m happy with my decision to wear a bra for my 42C breasts and wish I did it sooner.   In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with this.   

If you are a man who decided to not have surgery to address Gynecomastia, this forum should be a safe place to express your concerns and have support.   Let’s keep it that way.

Offline curiousk

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I think that conversation could be had in 3 to 4 of them.  I think people can post in whatever one they want.   Any newcomers are welcomed to post, read whatever they want and will not be drown out.

Offline Moobzie

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Hey, William:
If something in a thread bothers you, don't go there.

If you want to discuss something of interest to you, start a thread on whatever that is.

The "Acceptance" forum, by its very name, suggests threads dealing with not amputating breasts.

Wearing bras is one solution to problems we encounter with our breasts - and since this, societally, is a "new" (read still uncommon) thing for heterosexual men, discussions about the wearing of bras will tend to predominate the "Acceptance" forum threads. Duh !!!
For many, if not most men, this is probably the only place where they can safely read / question / discuss wearing a bra.  Other sites tend toward "mtf", gay or cross-dressing, and thus isn't for most contributors here,

You might want to start a thread for guys with breasts who don't want to go under the knife, nor wear a bra.

Offline OHboobs

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 Posts here by people who frequent the acceptance subforum (not going to go look who the people are, that's irrelevant) have been a bit pushy lately when it comes to wearing bras.  New members here can easily get driven away by that, leading to them not getting the help they were looking for.

Totally agree, but it's been going on a bit more than "lately."  I had to respond to some of those people shortly after I started talking here.  Note the date.

If others want to wear more feminine bras and clothing, more power to them.  But it should also be recognized that there are plenty of us who do not want to wear those things, and that we'd rather not draw any attention to our breasts.  There have been some members that seem to be trying to get us to wear bras that make our breasts look bigger and wear shirts that draw more attention to our breasts, even after we've made our wishes known.  And honestly, it's a bit creepy.  If someone is looking for a bra to help control and minimize their breasts and doesn't show under their clothing, don't go suggesting wearing push up bras, bras that will easily show under their shirts or shirts that will show a bit of cleavage.  Understand that everyone is at their own place when it comes to their breasts, and none of those places is wrong.


Offline JohannK

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Maybe a sticky thread for alternative options?

Offline Moobzie

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My previous post said there is a difference between cd and guys who wear bras for gynecomastic support.  

Seems like you got an axe to grind, which could explain why you misread so many posts.

The tenor of your posts and negative responses to others will probably drive more away than the content you object to.

There is nothing "wrong about having one spot without bra talk" (in fact there are several), but - AS HAS BEEN REPEATEDLY SUGGESTED - if you want a specific subject matter thread, START ONE.

NO, YOU DO NOT HAVE A BETTER IDEA THAN I RE WHAT THIS FORUM IS ABOUT.
Knock off the personal attacks.


 

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