Author Topic: Gynecomastia and cross dressing  (Read 9458 times)

Offline SideSet

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I need to wear a bra like a woman does.  I like to wear panties like a woman does. 

aboywithgirls

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I need to wear a bra like a woman does.  I like to wear panties like a woman does.
I soooo understand this 🤗.

For years, even decades prior to transitioning I wore bras and panties. It was what controlled my chest and fit bubble but. 

I had already been wearing a bra for a ew years when I started wearing panties. It was at the first time that my mother had taken me shopping for my first bras and a fitting. The SA asked us if I was interested in any of their panties. (I'm sure, to this day that the SA thought that I was a tomboy because of my obvious chest and my long hair.) I still remember my mother telling me " you're the one who's wearing them, get what you want".

It was about 10 years later, I started experimenting with ladies slacks and tops.

🥰Sophie🤗

Offline Evolver

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^ Congratulations for writing such an honest and heartfelt post. How wonderful it is to have a supportive wife who totally accepts your body - I also know. Now, in retirement, you can enjoy wearing the clothing that suits your body instead of complying to other people's ideals. I am also looking towards retirement in the next year or so, and although I don't have a need or desire at this stage to wear women's outerwear, I can easily imagine how natural it must feel for you and others in your situation to do so.

I am sorry to hear about the hardships that you endured from your father during your formative years. At least you are now free to be you!

Offline 42CSurprise!

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...I have been beaten for wearing a men's shirt that looked "too" girly my dad ripped it off my body as I was leaving for school. I could not tell you how many times I was told "no son of mine is gonna". I grew up only being allowed to have one emotion, anger. Anything else was "not manly" enough for my Dad. My mother went along because he was protecting me from "going to hell". I was the firstborn and so I had to "set the example" for the other kids...
We tend to focus on present day issues on this thread... breasts and brassieres and acceptance.  The reality is that in addition to bodies with a hormonal stew that contributes to development of fleshy rather than flat chests, we grew up in families and had myriad experiences that shaped us, including the way we responded to being different as adolescents.  Being different is about the worst thing any kid can experience, in large measure because kids can be so cruel to one another.  As I've said before I did crossdress as a boy but it was all the result of sexual trauma I'd experienced.  It had nothing to do with my fleshy chest.  And those experiences have definitely complicated the journey that led to my being here.  And it still complicates my relationship to having breasts and wearing a brassiere as I am at the moment.

Estrogen continues to have its way with my body both in terms of breasts and in terms of genitals and libido.  I'm accepting the whole package.  I'm also accepting that there is an element of enticement in having breasts and wearing a brassiere.  I doubt I'm alone in that.  

Offline 42CSurprise!

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Please Charlie.  That comment wasn't to criticize what you shared but to say most folks don't want to talk about what is really going on here... as you did so honestly.  I talk about being sexually abused and about crossdressing.  I'm hardly limiting myself.  I have great respect for what you shared.  I certainly understand how difficult it is to share these things.  I spent my entire life marinated in shame because of behavior that was rooted in trauma.  I would never criticize another person who is finally able to tell the truth about their experience.  I appreciate what you share on the thread.  

Offline Rich meier

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that goes for me too. cont go and please continue to share

Confused old man

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When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you, you have reached a dangerously awesome level of.....FREEDOM!
Be free..be yourself 😃😃

Offline Busty

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Charlie, I always enjoy your posts 

Offline 42CSurprise!

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Your posts on this thread have very much been on topic Charlie.  I respect you for sharing deeply held feelings with all of us.  Sometimes it feels we get boilerplate rather that honest feelings.  Acceptance is not easy and we need to be able to share our struggles and our successes.  I always appreciate what you contribute to the conversation.  We seem fortunate at the moment that the men hanging out here are open to an honest exchange.  So far as I'm concerned, you don't need to constrain yourself here.

Offline Busty

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I agree. The less accepting don’t seem to be around now.  Thank goodness. 

Offline Piglet

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Hello everybody.
Haven't been here for a while because of illness, but would now like to offer the following few thoughts........
Considering the crossdressing question, applying a little cold logic might perhaps go some way towards making it seem more palatable;
First of all, Female is the 'default' position in human development. On our way to developing and becoming Male we pass through a female 'state'.  Half of humanity stop there, half go on further to become male. Being Male is actually a sort of special extension of being female. -Beyond female if you like.
From this, I would say it's only natural that many men would feel a lot of fundamental empathy towards elements of the female experience, -and the female psyche, and are drawn to the conditions it lives in from day to day.
Secondly, ladies get a lot of enjoyment and very real pleasure from their garments being so varied, bright and colourful.  I well remember one lady I met at a party and she announced that if she had to put up with wearing the dark, drab, same clothes day after day as men are expected to, she would be suicidal. Well, I can sympathise with that. It seems little wonder to me that men too might enjoy a little brightness now and again, and a change from what they normally are expected to dress in every day.
The male sartorial code is a curiously modern development. Consider the voluminous, colourful, detailed costumes that were the delight of men living in Shakespeare's time. How could we have gone from that to what we have today?
Thirdly, how about equality?  Lots of ladies are vociferous and determined when demanding rights but surely it cuts both ways. Ladies often dress openly in male garments and enjoy doing so, but it's hardly fair for those same lucky individuals to then refuse a similar experience to male members of their family. That's cherry picking, not equality. Could you imagine the outcry and anger if men suddenly started telling their wives or girlfriends they were not to dress in certain garments? 
Fourthly, it seems to me that one of the greatest problems we are having here is that we are all trying to sort out this thorny question on our own without having anyone to talk things over with, and share thoughts. Websites such as this are great, of course, but using any website is still a singular experience.
In the days just before Christmas I happened to pass through Birmingham New Street railway station and, of course, at that time of year it was heaving with people. It suddenly struck me how, in amongst all the crowds, there were quite a few young men (Asian chaps), striding about in long brown skirts. Some in groups, some alone, but all without embarrassment. They were, of course, all members of the Muslim religion and this is a very common way for them to dress. 
As I say, they were quite unembarrassed about this and I fell to wondering how it was that they were able to walk about so openly and very visibly dressed in what were effectively skirts without being the slightest bit bothered, whereas we here who contribute to this website agonise over occasionally wearing much smaller garments which are totally hidden from view.
It struck me that their secret is that everywhere they go in their daily lives, they are coming into contact with other men who are dressed the same. Not only that, but all their family members too are understanding and supportive. Nowhere are they made to feel awkward or different. 
Compare that with the experience of significant numbers of chaps putting posts on this website who are repeatedly telling us that their significant others are neither understanding nor accepting nor supportive.  
Because of this, I often think wouldn't it be great if we could somehow organise a day-long meeting or a convention and, like those Asian gentlemen, meet up with others who are the same?  That would be very therapeutic I reckon, and would go a long way towards helping everyone here to seriously appreciate that we are actually not alone in this experience in life.
-Piglet.






 

Offline 42CSurprise!

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You remind me of time spent in Scotland where VERY manly men will wear skirts.  They also wear gorgeous plaids with delicious patterns and colors.  Traveling in India one also finds men in long garments that are similar to skirts.  Of course, it is the Indian women who wear the dramatic garments in amazing colors.

But I think this thread is more about the reality that those of us who carry high levels of estrogen in our bodies, the estrogen that contributes to growth of breasts, also feminizes us in other ways.  Breasts often come with more voluptuous bodies and those are more easily clothed in garments designed to accommodate curves... in other words, women's clothing.  If the sensibility draws us to color and style, who would be surprised?  That too can come with hormones.  That society wants to denigrate the wearing of clothes typically used by either gender is society's problem, not the individual's.  And one doesn't have to wear a wig and put on makeup to enjoy clothes that look good and fit well.  Men here are brave simply by virtue of the fact they are willing to acknowledge nature has given them something they didn't choose, may not want, but they're willing to live with.  The fantasy of a flat chest and muscular body is just that.  We're dealing with reality... this body, these breasts.  Deep respect.

Offline Busty

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I have to admit that my breasts are accompanied by wider hips, rounder thighs and some booty action.  When I gain weight, it goes to those places and what one female friend calls my tummy or pooch, as in kangoroo pouch.  I think that is why women's shapewear worked for me where men's did not

Offline SideSet

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Busty, that reminds me.  You never finished telling us about the Spanx store ☹️

aboywithgirls

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Most men have a gut. I think a lot  of us here carry our weight in our chest, hips, tush, and thighs. In my case, I also have a bit of a tummy that my WYOB shapewear does wonders for my figure. Thank goodness for shapewear!!!

🥰👍😍
Sophie


 

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