Gynecomastia Support Forum
General => Parents/Family/Friends => Topic started by: Grandpa Bambu on August 18, 2006, 06:43:53 AM
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To Parents/Family/Friends of Gynecomastic sufferers...
No matter what the severity is, from puffy areolas to full breasts, Gynecomastia is psychologically crippling and can even lead to suicidal tendencies. The sufferer finds it very difficult to lead a normal life, and most often, suffers in 'Silence' :'(.
Gynecomastia consumes you. Gynecomastia dictates what you wear, where you go and who you make friends with. To me, that sure sounds like incarceration!
If your son approaches you about Gynecomastia, don't just brush it off, try to be empathetic to the situation. If your child cannot rely on you; his Mom and/or Dad (or other family member) in his time of need, then who else can he turn to?
In closing, if you notice that your son wears several layers of shirts, refuses to go to the beach or anywhere that involves being shirtless, then instead of waiting for him to approach you or avoiding the situation all together, why not approach him about it. Tell your son that you are there for him and that he can count on your support. Gynecomastia can be a very lonely condition to live with. Provide the opportunity for your son to open up to you and make his loneliness a thing of the past.
Regards,
Grandpa Bambu...
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My son had his surgery done yesterday and he is thrilled. I was going to post in after I wrote this. My husband and I actually went to my son about his condition. He walked hunched over, didn't like to take his shirt off, was made fun of quite a bit in high school. He actually almost failed P.E. class because he would not change out his shirt. We were both very supportive of his decision and so were both of our families. If any parents are reading this, if your son comes to you about this, please be open minded. My son just turned 15 in July, and this is a new beginning for him.
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Congratulations! Now just be patient. My son is 5 weeks post op. It changes slowly, some days are swollen and some days look great. My son has laid low, worn his compression garment, walked, and drank a lot of water at the suggestion of the surgeon.
Go Moms!!!
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I am really glad to hear that your kids have your support. My mom got offended when the doctors told her that I had a problem and asked if they wanted it fixed. Since she was so offended imediately tuned to me and said "it doesn't bother you, right" I was too embarassed to contradict her. We never talked to about it again, and I wsh that I would have just spoke up. It would have changed so many events in my life. Thanks to you, your kids won't have much to look back on and regret.
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Jones357:
How old are you? You lost the great opportunity in your life. But don't be sorry. If you are 19+ then you have a right to take your decision. Not sure where you are from. But if you are in Ontario - Canada, Gyne surgery won't cost that much. My doctor charges only $1500 and gives you student discount as well.
I think $1500 is nothing for your whole new life experience.
Go for it.
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$1,500 is an awesome price. I paid $6,000 in the states.
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$1,500 is an awesome price.
That $1500 is just for Lipo (considered cosmetic). OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Program) pays for Excision (if done) and all hospital costs. I belive the 'tolal' cost of surgery (Excision/Lipo/Hosp. fees) in Ontario is approx $4000.
I paid $1280 (incl tax) with Dr. Fielding.
John.
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To Parents of Gynecomastic sufferers...
No matter what the severity is, from puffy areolas to full breasts, Gynecomastia is psychologically crippling and can even lead to suicidal tendancies.
The sufferer finds it very difficult to lead a normal life, and most often suffers in 'Silence' :'(. Gynecomastia consumes you. Gynecomastia dictates what you wear, where you go and who you make friends with. Geeze, to me, that sure sounds like incarceration!
If your son approaches you about Gynecomastia, don't just brush it off, try to be empathetic of the situation. If your child cannot rely on you; his Mom and/or Dad, in his time of need, then who else can he turn to?
In closing, if you notice that your son wears sever layers of shirts, refuses to go to the beach or anywhere that involves being shirtless, then instead of waiting for him to approach you or avoiding the situation all together, why not approach him about it. Tell your son that you are there for him and that he can count on your support. Gynecomastia can be a very lonely condition to live with. Provide the opportunity for your son to open up to you and make his loneliness a thing of the past. ;)
Grandpa Bambu...
yea, but how do i get my parents to read this?....any ideas? i feel too embarassed to speak bout it .
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To Parents of Gynecomastic sufferers...
No matter what the severity is, from puffy areolas to full breasts, Gynecomastia is psychologically crippling and can even lead to suicidal tendancies.
The sufferer finds it very difficult to lead a normal life, and most often suffers in 'Silence' :'(. Gynecomastia consumes you. Gynecomastia dictates what you wear, where you go and who you make friends with. Geeze, to me, that sure sounds like incarceration!
If your son approaches you about Gynecomastia, don't just brush it off, try to be empathetic of the situation. If your child cannot rely on you; his Mom and/or Dad, in his time of need, then who else can he turn to?
In closing, if you notice that your son wears sever layers of shirts, refuses to go to the beach or anywhere that involves being shirtless, then instead of waiting for him to approach you or avoiding the situation all together, why not approach him about it. Tell your son that you are there for him and that he can count on your support. Gynecomastia can be a very lonely condition to live with. Provide the opportunity for your son to open up to you and make his loneliness a thing of the past. ;)
Grandpa Bambu...
yea, but how do i get my parents to read this?....any ideas? i feel too embarassed to speak bout it .
jigupse...
Bring it up on your monitor and ask your Mom and or Dad to read it. Don't explain what it its about, just get them to read it. It will break the ice.... hopefully. ;)
GB
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thx...it worked :)...and it turns out i jus' have pseudo-gynec.the doc advised continuous chest exercises for 'bout 6 months bfore thinking 'bout surgery.
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thx...it worked :)
That's great! What was your parents reaction?
So... now that it's in the open and you are no longer suffering in silence, something can be done about it.
How old are you jigupse?
GB
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My husband is 41. We have been married for 7 years and I've known him for 11 years. He JUST brought up the subject yesterday for the 1st time because my daughter and I pressed him about why he doesnt swim with us on a hot day. So I got online to read about it. Now I am wondering if he should get the surgery or if he should not bother. He's learned to live with it but he's not happy about it. I am also worried my son will develop it but I'll have to wait and see. I told my husband I felt badly for him...if I had to wear a bikini I wouldn't swim since my tummy is huge (always has been) but I can wear a black 1 piece and hide. IUs there a bathing suit (with shirt) that anyone has found? We were joking that he could tell people that he had a tatoo he needed to hide. Please advise.
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Very nice post Grandpa Bambu wish my parents can read english and understand what im going thru.Im thinking about tellin them soon but i cant really speak my language very well and they cant understand english so im just hopin they dont think bah its nothing its a waste of money to get surgery because if they say that then i dont even know what im going to do.
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My husband is 41. Now I am wondering if he should get the surgery or if he should not bother. He's learned to live with it but he's not happy about it.
I developed gynecomastia at 10 years of age. Had it until I was 41. That's 31 years of having to 'learn to live with it' :-\. When I found out in Nov. 2004 what it was that I had, and that something could be done about it, there was no question in my mind what had to be done. Off with them! Had surgery Feb. 16, 2005. Now all the fears, anxieties and stress are a thing of the past. ;)
It must be killing your husband on the inside not be able to go swimming with his family. Gynecomastia really 'eats you up' inside. Show your husband this site. Let him know that his gynecomastia 'can be' corrected.
Is there a bathing suit (with shirt) that anyone has found? We were joking that he could tell people that he had a tatoo he needed to hide. Please advise.
There are special shirts called 'Compression Vests'. There are several different brands available. Compression vests 'look' much like regular shirts and are available in many different styles.
What country do you live?
GB
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To be honest, the gyne many 40-something guys have are just one more thing that makes them every day guys.
Dude, at 10, 15,20,30,40,50 years of age or more, it's all the same my man. Gynecomastia for most, is embarrassing at any age. The embarrassment that I felt at 15, was the same at 41... Does an 'every-day-guy' have someone approach him and have his m(o)(o)b grabbed while the groper says "Look at the jugs on this guy!" In front of 50+ co-workers no less...? Talk about embarrassment! I was the guy who got groped. I definitely did not 'feel' like an 'every-day-guy' that day.... :-\
Getting rid of it isn't going to turn him into a Chippendale (but it could seem like that psychologically to him).
GRS will not turn anyone into a 'Chippendale'... What it will do, is provide you with a manageable life. No stress, no anxieties, no fears etc... ( Gynecomastia related ;) )
GB
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Very nice post Grandpa Bambu wish my parents can read english and understand what im going thru.Im thinking about tellin them soon but i cant really speak my language very well and they cant understand english so im just hopin they dont think bah its nothing its a waste of money to get surgery because if they say that then i dont even know what im going to do.
You must know someone who knows both languages fluently. Get them to be an interpreter.
There's always a way dude! ;)
GB
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Very Nice Topic!!! ;D
My parents were never that open minded about it...
Lucky are those sons who have open minded parents...
So if I were you, open it up to your parents..
Its either you win their support or not....
jUST do it :)
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This is a brilliant post GB, I wish I had said that!
Truly it needs to be brought to the top of the pile every once in a while.
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Thanks Dan... ;)
GB
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thx...it worked :)
That's great! What was your parents reaction?
So... now that it's in the open and you are no longer suffering in silence, something can be done about it.
How old are you jigupse?
GB
You know, I am forever indebted to you! That post of yours might just have changed my life...as I just had my surgery 3 weeks ago. Even though I am financially fairly sucessful and independant now, having my dad read this was really an ice breaker and helped me a lot emotioanlly.
If only the stupid doc had not suggested to do chest-exercises to get read of gyne then (in 2007), I would have gotten my surgery a lot more sooner..as both me and my dad trusted the doc to death!
And oh I am 23 now...was 20 at that time ;)
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jigupse...
That's awesome dude! ;) Welcome to the 'Other Side"...
Glad to hear that you've finally had surgery... Now you can get on with your life!
GB...
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Amazing post Grandpa, God bless you in Jesus' name! I'm a 30 year old sufferer in India and my parents just don't take this seriously. Infact, my mother once told me that no girl would marry me if I underwent gynecomastia surgery, they would think that something is wrong with me and reject me. This post of yours gives me confidence. Hope I can live the rest of my life without the ill feeling I've felt so far. Thanks again for posting this :)
Btw, I had visited a plastic surgeon and he told me that he will have to use lipo to get rid of the fat. I'm a bit overweight, so I also asked him if he could get rid of the love handles and the beer belly...he said that he can do it all in about 85000 rupees (85000/ 50 US dollars). I want to do this because having the love handles and a ponch with a flat chest may not look so good.
And yes, hope I get to see the 'other side'
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hi.ppl.good to c some success stories.feeling that u r not alone in the world and some have got rid of it is good.
waiting for suggestions.even i want to go for surgery.
@mak
did u go for a surgery..?
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This site is heaven sent. Reading these forums made me cry. I’m so glad I’m not alone. I’m a single mom with two wonderful boys, and I have watched my oldest son suffer with gynecomastia. My son is sixteen and will be finely having his surgery in three weeks. We are so excited!!!! I have literally spent every penny I have to get this procedure done for my son. Funny thing is that the people in our lives that I thought would be supportive are not and the ones I thought wouldn’t be are. I know this surgery is going put a huge impact on me financially, but nothing will compares to the even bigger impact it’s going to have on my son’s life. This means everything to him and he deserves to feel as good on the outside as he is on the inside. Thank you all for sharing your hearts on this forum. :)
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FTLOMS...
Let us know how your son makes out with his surgery...
GB...
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I will, thank you!
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New to this forum. My 19 year old son has a significant case of gynecomastia.
His surgery is scheduled in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm really glad for him, but especially as I read stories I feel so bad for not helping him sooner.
We did agree at age 18 but some other circumstances did not allow a procedure.
I know he has suffered so much since age 10/11. His family dr. Said it resolve, but didn't. He works out and is by no means fat.
His dad and I thought we should give it until he reached 18 years before surgery. I really regret not helping him get surgery earlier. I feel sick when I think of all the teasing he has endured, wearing rash guard shirts to the pool, compression shirts, trying to hide when changing in locker room. Even in his Freshman year of college I know of at least one jerk who said something to him.
I know it greatly hurt his teen years and by waiting I feel responsible for taking that from him.
I hope his surgery is successful and most of all his self-esteem can be regained. Of course, surgery on your child is scary but I am more concerned if he will be happy or if too much damage has been done.
It took quite a while for me to convince husband/dad that it is a BIG deal. He finally got it and he worked a bunch of extra days to save for surgery. ($5k). Proud of him.
Other parents- did you feel a lot of guilt letting it go on so long?
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Hi Mom, Thanks for caring enough to bring this excellent post back to the top of the pile.
The Author of this thread does not often check in but when he does, he is sure to see your comment.
And, Thanks for doing what you have for your son. We do not often hear from parents, I wish it was otherwise.