Gynecomastia Support Forum
Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: pastthepointofreturn on July 06, 2022, 12:37:30 AM
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This is the first summer I have been really self conscious about taking my shirt off in the pool in front of friends. Although my breasts aren't super big, they are very feminine looking and my nipples are quite noticeable and get really hard. They have changed alot over the course of a year. I feel like everyone I know will notice my strong masculine chest has turned into breasts. I did see a couple people take a double take. At first I dreaded taking my shirt off. Now, later into the summer, I have gotten to where I enjoy the opportunity to show off my breasts. It has become almost like a fetish. The entire time I am without a shirt I am thinking wow, everyone can see my breasts. I get a little nervous and self conscious, but excited and enjoy it at the same time. It is very hot here in Texas. I rarely have a shirt on at home. Occasionally a friend will stop unannounced. My first reaction is embarrassment and start looking for a shirt. Then I stop myself and just go with it and remain topless.
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Enjoy them!
Like some others, you may even want them larger in the future.
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This is the first summer I have been really self conscious about taking my shirt off in the pool in front of friends. Although my breasts aren't super big, they are very feminine looking and my nipples are quite noticeable and get really hard. They have changed alot over the course of a year. I feel like everyone I know will notice my strong masculine chest has turned into breasts. I did see a couple people take a double take. At first I dreaded taking my shirt off. Now, later into the summer, I have gotten to where I enjoy the opportunity to show off my breasts. It has become almost like a fetish. The entire time I am without a shirt I am thinking wow, everyone can see my breasts. I get a little nervous and self conscious, but excited and enjoy it at the same time. It is very hot here in Texas. I rarely have a shirt on at home. Occasionally a friend will stop unannounced. My first reaction is embarrassment and start looking for a shirt. Then I stop myself and just go with it and remain topless.
good for you I am about the same size as you maybe a little bigger. I never had a problen showing mine off and like you I have very hard promenent nipples that show even with an unlined bra. always went to the beach shirtles and never tried to hide them
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I swim in a large outdoor hot springs pool once or twice a year. I don't wear a bra to the pool to avoid weirdness in the locker room, but I am usually not the only guy there with boobs and usually not the largest. People don't notice as much as you think they do.
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Up until a couple years ago. I had a couple of different ladies tankini tops that resembles a tank top. They were solid black or blue. They had built in support too. I was able to enjoy the sun and swim without being in a wet tshirt contest.
Sophie ❤️
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I swim in a large outdoor hot springs pool once or twice a year. I don't wear a bra to the pool, but I am usually not the only guy there with boobs and usually not the largest. People don't notice as much as you think they do.
Do you have bra strap marks visible when you go to the pool braless? Or do you remove your bra hours before arriving at the pool?
Wearing a bra can have its complications if you are not trying to give out clues that you wear one.
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Blad
Given that I was told at fitting that the band should do 80% of the support and the straps were mainly there to keep the upper part of the bra tidely in place, I was told that a good rule of thumb (not infallible) was that if you have strap marks it was fair bet they were too tight.
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I didn't respond to this when it first appeared in large measure because I'm not inclined to show off my breasts. Whether one would consider that a fetish or not I can't be sure, but I know that enjoying the fact we have breasts is something quite a few of us have mentioned quietly during conversations here. I understand that for those men who are disturbed by the appearance of breasts, such feelings seem bizarre. It it probably the case that those men who've been dealing with diminutive breasts their whole life have a different relationship to it all... especially as those breasts get larger.
I've mentioned here before that my exploration on this topic has led me to crossdressing websites as well as to websites where men are encouraging one another to increase the size of their breasts. They recommend herbal supplements and some men has gone so far as to remove their testicles so estrogen can have greater influence. The procedure is call an orchiectomy (https://www.webmd.com/cancer/what-is-orchiectomy). I don't think one needs to go to such extremes, however, to simply enjoy the breasts we have. I'm one of those men. At the moment I'm wearing a brassiere beneath a soft cotton turtleneck that conforms beautifully to the contours of my breasts. The brassiere does an excellent job of pulling everything together and as photos I've posted elsewhere make clear, I have very substantial breasts. When I go out wearing a brassiere, I'll wear a shirt to cover myself, but I also have the sense OP expresses that on some level I WANT people to notice my breasts. There is an erotic component to the whole thing that I don't deny.
So acceptance honestly can lead to enjoyment. I even started a thread on that topic some time ago... Shame to Embarrassment to Toleration to Acceptance to Appreciation to ? (https://forum.gynecomastia.org/index.php?topic=36551.30) which had almost 2,500 views. This is a judgment free conversation. We each have our own journey to follow. Taking pleasure in having breasts is not a bad thing, even for a man not interested in transitioning.
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I have not exposed my breasts to anyone in public since my teen years when I was forced to in gym classes. (ie skin teems and locker rooms).
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Agreed 42c, as a guy with zero interest in any level or fashion of transitioning, i have found my breasts to be a bit of a go to for enjoyment. Not even sexually 9/10 of the time, just simply feeling them and enjoying how they feel. I'm honestly surprised I haven't been caught yet by my wife or someone at work walking around the cubicle noticing me squeezing them a bit or poking them and just having subtle fun in their presence. I think once accepting them and realizing they aren't really that bad to have at all and if they are noticeable or not, they can just be innocent fun and honest enjoyment to have.
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Sideset started a thread about being his own girl friend which made me smile. None of the women I was sexual with had breasts as large as the ones now filling the brassiere I'm wearing at the moment. On one of the websites I visited I exchanged comments with a fellow who was considering transitioning. He used the term autogynephilia to describe his experience. That is defined as follows:
The term autogynephilia (auto for self, gyne for female, philia for desire, often shortened AGP) refers to a psychological condition in which a man (usually heterosexual) derives sexual or even "romantic" pleasure from the fantasy of being female. The term was coined by psychologist Ray Blanchard (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Blanchard) after working with and studying many transsexual patients.
I'm rather mesmerized by my breasts despite disinterest in transitioning to becoming a woman. Buying brassieres and appreciating what they do to my breasts seems to be part of the picture. I guess it would be possible that I'd do the same thing while using some type of breast form, but I doubt it. This feels like a direct result of the hormone stew coursing through my body that has given me these breasts. And I too like to touch them... since I live alone there really isn't anyone to be offended or to object. I don't know whether that could be interpreted as evidence of autogynephilia, but frankly, I don't care. THIS is what acceptance looks like for me. I know we each have our own unique way to finding acceptance. That works for me.
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I'm not sure I'll ever be as comfortable as y'all about showing my chest bare. I wish society would lose their hangups so I could lose mine :-)
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as I have said it has never bothered me and dont care If you go to the beach you see men with alot bigger. some overe weight but still pretty much the same thing
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I think alot of our hangups and insecurities come from the idea that nothing really changes and that our body's don't fit in to the norm so if people saw what we see they will be a bit taken back or judging. And i just don't think that's the case anymore now days. I think a lot of people got too much of their own s--- to worry about to care, and if they do care, thanks to social media the average attn span doesn't exist long enough to keep in mind once they pass you by.
I think also many men who develop breasts whether they are noticeable or not, become self conscious especially if they reach a point where a bra isn't just something of an option but more of demand and necessity for comfort, that what will people think. And to me, I just learned to quit caring myself because for myself, I just had a reality check of realizing I'm just a regular guy...who has perhaps an irregular chest...and that's alright. When I am in the gym I see muscles and 4 day old beard and when I talk, act, behave, etc etc..I hear, see and do guy things. I'm not trying to be something I'm not. I think just rolling with the flow also helps. If someone ever asked me about my chest or bra lines, I'd tell them without showing shame...if someone joked, i'd laugh with them.
I think lastly that this forum has served a tremendous purpose for me and others alike. I know for me at least, if my breasts grow any more I am going to be a confirmed c cup. I already teeter on the fence of b and c depending on the bra, and while I workout a lot and have lost about 15lbs since summer, my chest hasn't really done anything. When I was barely an A cup i was shopping around for surgeons...found this forum and it gave me peace to talk to guys like me...as they grew in to a b cup i was so paranoid worried and freaked out about what my wife, friends, family, society would think....and this forum helped me get over that. I know without a doubt if I became somehow busty as some others here who are dealing with D cups DD and such that I would have a hell of a time dealing with as at that point theres no hiding what is going on, it's going to be seen by any and everyone and if they haven't seen you in some time they obviously are going to be like wtf. But i know this forum is here to help me get through it and get the confidence in how to act and deal with that stuff if i ever had to.
Don't let the hang ups, hang up on your ability to be happy.
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Well said Dude...
I revisited a website I hadn't been to for a couple of years, devoted to men TRYING to grow their breasts... most by using herbs and supplements. I thought about the conversations here in contrast to what these men are talking about. I have no judgment about it, but it does demonstrate that our relationships with our bodies falls on a spectrum, as does our gender. We talk about our unique hormone stew. Yes, there is no doubt those of us with larger breasts are contending with elevated estrogen and depressed testosterone. Our attention to breasts and brassieres is grounded in completely different circumstances than men, who for whatever reason WANT large breasts. They have multiple forums on that website and while some are looking forward to transitioning, many are content being males... they just want breasts. I know for many of us, acceptance has morphed into appreciation, but it was the need to recognize what was actually happening to our bodies that brought us here, not some fixation on WANTING breasts.
Yes, I can enjoy having breasts but I don't want that to be the central fixation of my life. I've mentioned the fellow who lives a couple of blocks from me. He is tall and slender... yet he wears a brassiere and what could best be called a VERY miniskirt as he rides around town on his bicycle. I wonder what his life is like? I live in a rather progressive community and I expect most folks look at him and wonder what is up, but gender fluidity is more acceptable here than in many parts of the country. I've occasionally been wearing a brassiere when encountering him, but I've yet to strike up a conversation. I could tell him about my breasts and my brassiere choice and he could fill me in about his crossdressing. We live in a wild world. Most often we assume those around us are just like us... but in reality, that is never the truth. We each march to our own drummer and even the most vanilla looking person could be a strange dude. He might even be wearing panties and brassiere beneath his drab wear. I mentioned the ten police officers who admitted to wearing panties to work who responded to a question on a crossdressing website. Welcome to our wild and crazy world!
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This is definitely a yin/yang situation. If I could wish my breasts away, I would do so. But, since they're here to stay, I'll enjoy them as much as possible.
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I came to the conclusion that most people are so self-centered that they don't notice the difference in other people unless it is really striking. In an "attack of boldness" several years ago I visited a supermarket with a white bra under a white thin shirt. Guess what happened? Nothing happened.
Nevertheless I have not repeated this a second time. Maybe I should!
John
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I've mentioned the fellow who lives a couple of blocks from me. He is tall and slender... yet he wears a brassiere and what could best be called a VERY miniskirt as he rides around town on his bicycle. I wonder what his life is like? I live in a rather progressive community and I expect most folks look at him and wonder what is up, but gender fluidity is more acceptable here than in many parts of the country. I've occasionally been wearing a brassiere when encountering him, but I've yet to strike up a conversation. I could tell him about my breasts and my brassiere choice and he could fill me in about his crossdressing.
Yesterday I was out at a restaurant with my wife. I noted that our server, who overall presented as a male, was definitely wearing a bralette over his size AA-A cup breasts. He likely was in his 20's and was sporting longer flowing hair that would not be out of place on a woman.
I would guess his motive was more targeted at being genre fluid than desiring the physical support of a bra. Still, it was interesting to see.
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We see a lot of that anymore. Last weekend a small coffee shop we were at the server presenting as male had eye make up on along with false eyelashes. Then at a upscale restaurant a day later our server had a short beard, eye make up. False eyelashes and a white bra with a semi transparent top. Also a mid length skirt. And walking around shopping we saw quite a few younger folks dressed more unisex I guess how you would put it. Skirts seem to be the in thing right now for younger males. Boulder Colorado is where we went.. Boulder has always been on the cutting edge I would say. So it’s all pretty normal there to see just about anything. And topless women is not illegal in public. So I don’t worry about anyone noticing my bra or boobs when we visit there. I really do think that peoples attitudes toward different ways of dressing is changing. The young people have the courage to blaze that path right out in the open.
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Leave it to the younger generation to embrace gender fluidity. I love it! Of course, for many people it is threatening and we see how that is playing out. But I don't think it is possible to control what is happening culturally. When I was at university there was a young man who wore scarves and eye makeup. He was married to a lovely young woman. As a person who had had experiences with crossdressing, I looked at him with a bit of awe. How did he dare to present himself as he did? Clearly, it didn't matter to him or to his wife. I wish I'd had the courage to ask him about it.
Yesterday, as I appreciated the fullness of my breasts held in the Lilyette minimizer brassiere, I thought it might be fun to apply eye makeup. I'd done it before... years ago. I have long eyelashes and deep blue eyes. I looked rather stunning with eye makeup. I'm not intending to go there, but the thought did cross my mind. My breasts are quite tantalizing and perhaps at some time I'll decide to apply eyeliner and shadow. I love hearing about younger people playing at these edges. Gender fluidity is real. Playing is fun. That we have breasts that fill brassiere cups is both shocking and exciting. Here we are...
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When I was younger in my 20s I had a girlfriend who was in cosmetology school and there were times she’d ask to give me a makeover. Her reasoning being sometimes in their business a man will come in and get one cause they are gay fluid or some other sort. Men’s skin is different and covering stubble and such so she wanted someone to practice on.
This stuff never bothered me so I let her. It was fun. She’d get her practice and I’d get my kicks trying to kiss her and freak her out and gross her out cause she definitely wasn’t in to it lol. But now at 36 I can totally appreciate the guys who wear makeup for curiosity or fun or whatever the reason when done well it’s obvious but it’s not odd to me. There’s a difference I think in a guy trying to present as female and looking like a guy in makeup. And then there’s a difference of a guy who just wears makeup and looks good.
I think when you have breasts that have gotten big enough to no longer be deemed as moobs and are in size shape and volume every bit of a woman’s breasts as a woman’s breasts and fill bras as such….it would be hard to not have it cross your mind of hmmm wonder what this would look like if I just put a little of this and that on.
I think as we accept our breasts there are various levels of enjoyment that it comes with. And this for some being one of them.
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I'm recalling decades ago visiting a museum with my then wife when in walked a group of men ALL dressed in women's formal clothes. Apparently they were part of a club and did this regularly. This was a major metropolitan region where just about anything is possible. The fellow who caught my attention had a FULL beard... wearing a long formal gown. Although I had some experience with crossdressing, what those guys were doing seemed bizarre to me. I'd never dream of doing such a thing. No doubt there was gender fluidity even then... like 45 years ago, but I was unaware of that scene at all. Things are very different today. It might be argued that even this conversation we're having is a sign of the times. It is very hard to imagine men in the last generation having this conversation about their breasts and favorite brassieres. But here we are, enjoying our breasts and talking about it.
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Agreed. It’s taken a lot of time for myself to go from accepting and enjoying but even with that I’ve come to enjoy how I and they look in a bra and even enjoy braless and feeling their movement long as I’m not running or something.
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Wearing women's underwear, even if it is only for practical reasons, is not without its impact on our psyche.
This is the case with me, at least.
Although I'm not young and have been struggling with gynecomastia since I was young, I tried on a bra two months ago.
Probably many of us have gone through this: until the fitting it seemed that somehow it wasn't quite ok with the boobs but maybe you can't see so much.
And here suddenly a surprise, the bra fits like a glove, or worse, in my case - the cups of the wife's bra are too small.
The very next day I went with the "acceptance" further. It turned out that women's blouses also fit me perfectly.
It's easy to lose yourself in this.
Soon, I went to the mall in a voluminous floral dress, wearing makeup and heeled shoes.
Again I experienced a shock - no one paid attention to me, the saleswomen in the stores referred to me as a woman without hesitation.
It was difficult for me to return to normalcy after that.
In retrospect, I regret that I went too far, and on the one hand I am ashamed in front of myself and on the other hand I would like to do it again.
The benefit of the "accoutrement" one: I stopped deleting vacation photos in which, in my opinion, the bust was too prominent.
Compared to what I saw in the mirror, after wearing a lacy bra, now none of the photos seem glaring to me anymore.
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TikTak,
As far as I know, "normalcy" doesn't exist. We are all individuals.
Sophie ❤️
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As far as I know, "normalcy" doesn't exist. We are all individuals.
Sophie ❤️
Very true, we are all different in some way. Nobody is truly “normal”.
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Although I'm not young and have been struggling with gynecomastia since I was young, I tried on a bra two months ago.
Probably many of us have gone through this: until the fitting it seemed that somehow it wasn't quite ok with the boobs but maybe you can't see so much.
And here suddenly a surprise, the bra fits like a glove
Trying a bra on for the first time and seeing how well it fit and contained my breasts was a big immediate turning point in my acceptance. I suddenly liked how I looked and felt in a bra and having breasts was no longer 100% negative. It was a major change in my attitude. Of course as a teen at that time there were still many issues to navigate and sort out. But I would have to say that if it was generally accepted to be a guy with boobs openly wearing a bra in public that I would have been quite accepting of my situation. Particularly at that age, acceptance personally about my situation and wearing a bra did not help with acceptance in society, at least in my teenage mind. In a way it created a new torment that I could not be me.
But I would go on to say, I think if more guys with breast development tried a bra they may be surprised at how positive they feel about it. I can not recall any stories of some one trying a bra for their gyno and being negative.
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Agreed. It took a few weeks for me to be comfortable wearing one and even now sometimes I feel weird wearing one but overall I just feel much better in one. Knowing I’m in place and such is a relief. I think if the stigma of the bra was and could be removed many more men would be in the bra dept buying one for support or comfort.
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I feel "weird" if not supported anymore. After I decided if I were to wear a bra, I would "wear a bra" full-time, just like anyone else with breast tissue needing support and containment. It took a little time to become accustomed to the feeling of and appearance of my breasts being held and held up. But within a month or less I began to realize I wasn't fixated on my chest anymore and went hours without noticing them at all. This realization became very obvious when about 8 months into wearing full-time, I became sick and had to stay at home and didn't put on a bra. Every movement I made caused me to keenly be aware of my chest and it's lack of support. I had become so accustomed to the subtle feeling of reassurance on my chest that the lack of it was distracting. I bought a couple of lounging bras afterwards.
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I know I've said this before, but in reality my experience is the opposite of what John reports. When I wear a brassiere, as I am at the moment, I'm fixated on my breasts. I know that is, in part, related to the sexual trauma I experienced as a boy. Lingerie, especially brassieres were a turn on for me as a teen... which given my early experience is not surprising. But it complicates the reality of gynecomastia. Everyone who has seen my photos knows that my breasts are large enough to benefit from my wearing a brassiere. But I don't need to wear one, so when I do it comes from a different place... perhaps closer to what TikTak is referring to. I say this simply to observe that having breasts can lead to a range of responses. Sophie ended up transitioning... not simply because she had breasts as a teenage boy... but the hormonal stew definitely took her in that direction. As I've said before, we're not exactly manly men and part of coming to terms with breasts is about coming to terms with that reality. How we express that in our lives is very personal. It doubtless has complications for men in heterosexual relationships but it seems men here are successfully navigating those things. For men who are on their own, there are many ways this can unfold... some of them rather gender bending. But this side of the website is about acceptance and if we're honest with one another, that requires a great deal of generosity. It would be silly for me to use my own standard for what is acceptable to judge anyone else. We each need to find our own truth. For me, I expect there will always be a certain erotic component to it all. I enjoy my breasts and love how they look in the brassieres I own. So be it.
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42C,
You are correct. We really are all different with different levels of acceptance. The acceptance thing, I feel can be broken down into two categories. There is self acceptance and social acceptance.
I was fortunate. As a tween, I acknowledged that I was developing breasts and so did my mother. That brought me to start wearing a bra. It wasn't forced on me. It was an option for me. She gave me the time I needed for self acceptance. As I became more accustomed to wearing a bra, I discovered the benefits of it. Of course, as I continued developing, it was strongly recommended that I start wearing full-time. I also started wearing panties at this point which was something I did because I wanted to but, my mother was the one who accepted my decision.
Social acceptance was a bit tougher, but, not unbearable. There was teasing by most of the guys and some girls but, I also had allies which were most of the girls who empathized with me and some guys who were my friends.
I also had to accept the fact that women's clothing fit better because the same hormones that developed my chest had also made my lower half just as womanly.
I also believe that the same hormones that influenced my my physical development played a major role in my mental development of the fact that I am a woman. This took time for self-acceptance. I had been wearing women's outerwear👚 and shoes👠 for well over a decade. Like most women, as time goes by, I had to add shapewear to my top drawer instead of just a bra and panties 👙. Around the house 🏠, I had begun to experiment with my wife's skirts and dresses 👗. When covid came, I worked from home for almost 9 months. With my wife's help, I was living as a woman (very happily 😊). My wife had accepted the fact that I was a woman before I did.
Most of the ladies 🚺 at work had also indicated the fact or at least thought that I was a transwoman. The social aspect of acceptance for me was easier the self-acceptance. The most popular comment that I heard from the ladies was "it's about time, girl." It seemed that I was the last to know ♀️🙄.
Love you guys
Sophie ❤️
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I feel "weird" if not supported anymore. It took a little time to become accustomed to the feeling of and appearance of my breasts being held and held up. But within a month or less I began to realize I wasn't fixated on my chest anymore and went hours without noticing them at all.
For much of the day I forget I am even wearing a bra, as I am sure is the case for most women. I am much more likely to be aware of the feeling of being braless. When in public, I am definitely not thinking about my bra as I interact with people. The feeling of containment from my bra is my normal.
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For much of the day I forget I am even wearing a bra, as I am sure is the case for most women. I am much more likely to be aware of the feeling of being braless. When in public, I am definitely not thinking about my bra as I interact with people. The feeling of containment from my bra is my normal.
The same with me. I'm wearing my bra and don't think about it. Only in the night taking off my clothes I am aware of my bra again. The same if a bra strap slides down, what happens from time to time.
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Same here. I provide services for formal events in my area and had my warner t shirt bra on in the morning and was in a rush getting out the door and forgot to take it off as i usually would if these settings. I was going over everything in the car, scanning the brain for any notes to make on the go and just polishing things up. I got things ready to go at the place I was at the day of and went to change in my suit and realized i still had my bra on lmao at that point i just crossed fingers no one to notice and threw my dress shirt and suit jacket on and called it a day Its odd how it's become just another piece of clothing still at times