Author Topic: Thank you for helping me to start accepting  (Read 3534 times)

Offline tryingtoaccept

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I have been a reader and not a poster here for a couple of months now and finally decided to make a thank you post.  I have always been very self-conscience of my moobs, I think they are realistically just an A or maybe a small B but I am not sure.  In my mind they looked huge, and I was very self-conscience and always tried to hide them.  I am not really sure if they are true gyne or not, but I think it is a combination of real and fat.

After reading a lot of posts here I am starting to see that I am imagining they are bigger than they actually appear to other people.  A couple weeks ago I had a heart-to-heart talk to my wife and she assured me she does not care if I have them or not.  She even said she didn’t care if I went shirtless all the time both inside and outside, so that greatly relieved my mind.  I thank all of you in this community for opening my eyes and starting me down the road of accepting me for who I am and how God created me.
Redfox 🦊

OnlyGodKnowsWhy

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I'm so glad to read this, and props to you for talking with your wife about it. It is sooo true that this is how God created us. So what if we don't fit in with "today's standards". He knew what He was doing when he created me and there's not a lot I can do to change it. I'm currently a C-D cup. May permanently transition to a smaller band size and go with Ds as they do tend to fit better...

Offline tryingtoaccept

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Acceptance is not easy but I am getting better with it.  I have read a lot of your comments to other people and I thank you for being a voice of encouragement to so many of us.  I hope I can be an encouragement to you and others with my comments.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy

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I was  ery fortunate in that my wife was very understanding when I opened up to her. I haven't talked about my condition or the fact that I wear bras to anyone else in my life, but nobody has ever mentioned anything. I figure I'm still me anyway, so what if I wear a bra that the world sees as being for women. Bras are made to support breast tissue. I have breast tissue that needs supported. That doesn't define who I am, I define who I am

Offline Johndoe1

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Welcome tryingtoaccept. We are always harder on ourselves than others. They too have their issues they are dealing with too and really don't have time to deal with ours as well. I am glad you are on the journey to accept what you have. And if someday you find you need support and comfort via some type of bra, that's OK too. Many men do even if they never admit it. Everyone has breasts and 50% of the world have development that require support/containment, and not all are women. Not all women have development that need to wear a bra and some men have enough development to wear a bra. Bras are just cloth and wire and nothing else.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline dunkin

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Welcome trying to accept. I myself was a silent member for a long time. I would check in daily to read other members stories and I finally decided that I need to get a little more comfortable with this and talk with others in here. You will instantly feel very welcomed by all and also receive some great advice. It’s a hard road for a lot of us and I still struggle with it myself but I find that talking with the members here and reading what they have already faced helps me accept what is the real me. While We all chose our own way of dealing with this, bras, surgery, layering, whatever, your choice is your choice and from what I have found here, nobody will judge your choice and they will help with advice.

Offline Evolver

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I have been a reader and not a poster here for a couple of months now and finally decided to make a thank you post.  I have always been very self-conscience of my moobs, I think they are realistically just an A or maybe a small B but I am not sure.  In my mind they looked huge, and I was very self-conscience and always tried to hide them.  I am not really sure if they are true gyne or not, but I think it is a combination of real and fat.
Welcome aboard. Your situation sounds exactly like mine a couple of years ago. Trust me, things will get better. You might even end up proud of your moobs!

Think of the whole 'acceptance' thing this way. If your wife accepts you just the way you are, why shouldn't you accept yourself too? I know that self-acceptance doesn't come easy, but when it does, it is quite liberating, and it sounds like you're on the right path to achieving that.

Busted (and happy)

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Welcome  aboard.
Getting your head round it and realising most people (especially men) will not notice is around 95% of the journey.
Having the wife onside takes care of most of the rest.
Well done - and peace to you

Orb

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I to am glad your here.  Welcome.  Read, learn, Post what you've learned and encourage others is all we do. 
Glad your talking to your wife.  Getting through it together is always best. 
Be Well.

Offline tryingtoaccept

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Welcome aboard. Your situation sounds exactly like mine a couple of years ago. Trust me, things will get better. You might even end up proud of your moobs!

Think of the whole 'acceptance' thing this way. If your wife accepts you just the way you are, why shouldn't you accept yourself too? I know that self-acceptance doesn't come easy, but when it does, it is quite liberating, and it sounds like you're on the right path to achieving that.
My wife assuring me she did not care that I had them and that they did not bother her really relieved a lot of pressure off my mind.  A supportive spouse really goes a long way.  Her support, and me reading all of your stories shows me it is really not as bad as I imagined it to be.  Like you said, the vast majority of people would not even give me a second thought so why should I.  I have to keep reminding myself of that when I get self-conscience.  Even though mine are an A cup or possible a very small B I can see my mind was really making it seem worse than what people are actually noticing.  I look forward to reading and responding to posts here to keep me encouraged and reminded that I am not alone.

aboywithgirls

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Congratulations! and welcome to the forum and the all  of the wonderful support here. There are so many wonderful people here who have come to accept their breasts as THEIR breasts. 

Most members here have come too the same conclusion as half of the world has. A bra is the easiest and best way to improve comfort, control, and in most cases, shape.

I have not left the house without a bra for well over 30 years now. I am still so grateful that I kept mine. I am a woman of transgender experience and have been living full-time as a woman for the last 2 years. 

Offline tryingtoaccept

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I have not left the house without a bra for well over 30 years now.
At this time mine are small but I doubt I could ever build up the nerve to put on a bra.  If my wife recommends it or asks me to seriously consider it then I may try.  I would feel emotionally very conscientious about it.  I guess it would be like the final step in my mind showing me this is real and they are growing.  It is all an emotional thing in my head and as time passes maybe I will embrace them and who knows maybe even love them as a lot of you have.  This has been an emotional roller coaster since they started developing in my late teens and early 20’s.

Offline SideSet

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Welcome and best wishes. I feel you have taken a number of healthy and positive steps and that your wife is saying and doing the right things. I suspect unless you get bigger, she will not mention wearing a bra 

Offline Evolver

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...the vast majority of people would not even give me a second thought so why should I.  I have to keep reminding myself of that when I get self-conscience.  Even though mine are an A cup or possible a very small B I can see my mind was really making it seem worse than what people are actually noticing. 
Sometimes, self-conscience depends on the environment. About a year ago during one of my wife's and I regular stays at my daughter and granddaughters place in the 'burbs of our capital city, we went to one of those large, modern indoor swim centers in a nice part of town with muliple pools, slides, water playground etc. I was mortified. So many people there, nice people, and here am I taking off my t-shirt showing my A/B's and getting in the water of the kiddies pool with daughter and granddaughter asap, kneeling down, then later on getting out and drying off and putting t-shirt back on asap. Meanwhile all the other dads/grandpas/uncles not in the water are parading around the whole complex justifiably topless. 

Fast forward to our last summer when we went to an old, daggy outdoor pool in a far less salubrious part of the same suburb. To put it kindly it was situated in a low-rent neighborhood and this was reflected in the clientele at the pool. I felt completely at home lol! We were always safe, there was no trouble, and no-one cared, everyone just wanted to cool off. I looked slim compared to most people! I look forward to going back. 

Speaking of swimming or being apprehensive about something, you've heard the old saying, "Come on in, the water's fine!" I think most senior members of this forum would agree, if you take the plunge no matter what that is, you really will be okay. :)

Offline tryingtoaccept

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Aussie63 Thanks for the post.  You make a great point about it all depending on the situation you are in.  It got me thinking.  If I was in a place where everyone was fit and had a chiseled physique, I would be very self-conscience even without the boobs.  But if I was in an area like you were saying where everyone was more "hefty" :) than I would most likely not give it a second thought.  Thanks for making this post, it got me really thinking.


 

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