Author Topic: How to stay confident  (Read 4655 times)

Dudewithboobs

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Agreed, my confidence has taken a hit time to time. Seems any time I adjust to my growth I grow a little more. And anytime I’ve taken a hit this forum has served well to accept embrace and enjoy my “flaw”. Be nice to see others be helped as much as we have been helped by this place instead of giving up or giving in to the insecurity it gives. 

Offline oldguy

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Agreed, my confidence has taken a hit time to time. Seems any time I adjust to my growth I grow a little more. And anytime I’ve taken a hit this forum has served well to accept embrace and enjoy my “flaw”. Be nice to see others be helped as much as we have been helped by this place instead of giving up or giving in to the insecurity it gives.
I have always been confident thought my life.  This helped me to be successful in business and served on many boards.  I was fortunate that this challenge showed up after I retired.  And that is what I view it.  I don't consider it a flaw.  Just another challenge along with my knees, back and such.  As with all, I deal with them and keep going.  There are times when I gimp up to a green or when just walking down a hill.  And times when someone notices that I have breasts.  It's just me having fun and I'm doing just fine.  With winter coming, I will miss golf.  

Offline Piglet

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As well as Gynecomastia I have a another, similar, unwanted aspect to my body which I have carried all my life and that is that I am very hard of hearing. You wouldn't believe how cruel and vulgar so-called sophisticated adults can be when they encounter this.                    All my life I have been on the receiving end of seriously nasty comments and unpleasant, hurtful jokes,  -to my face and in the company of others-,  very often from people who would appear to outsiders to be pillars of society, holding down important responsible jobs.                                                                                            With the constant exposure to this over the years I found I couldn't help but become indifferent because it taught me that people who behave that way are themselves vulgar and unsophisticated, whatever level they might be at in society. Therefore their opinions are worthless.                                                                          Also, it taught me that such comments and opinions can't actually hurt you. Yes, it might sting at the time and it sure makes you wonder why, mentally and emotionally, most people are still in the school playground, but they are just words. They won't actually do you any real harm.                                                                  When I try and work out just exactly why people want to be so hurtful it sure seems to me that the engine that drives their nastiness is the fact that you have been strong enough to successfully come to terms with something which they know they would have enormous difficulty accepting if they found it in theirselves. In other words, you cause them to realise they are weaker and smaller and less resilient than you, and they hate you for it.                                One other unexpected thing I found through the years is that all the nasty comments follow the same format! You find people saying the same thing over and over again, mistakenly imagining they are coming out with something original. I have had works colleagues furiously twirling their hands in my face in a parody of sign language in exactly the same way as the children around me used to do when I was in junior school! Astonishing to find a so-called adult exhibiting exactly the same behaviour as junior school children. So after a while you find you have heard it all before and it all gets rather boring.    All of what I have said here goes for wearing a bra too. What I would say is try and be strong and do what feels right for you, whether that's using a bra or using hearing aids. Yes, there will be awkward moments, but just accept that and ignore those around you who are not supportive.  You will emerge a better, stronger person for it. 
                                             Piglet.

Normal boobs1

  • Guest
Well said Piglet and I am deeply sorry for what you have had to endure. Some who like to think of themselves as alpha males in fact only have the backbone of a jelly! Truth is they are just ar**holes. They usually are incapable of bring reasoned with as they would still only be half wits even if they found another brain cell somewhere. 
Keep strong. Plenty of support in this sake place. 

Offline blad

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Typically, people try elevating themselves by trying to put down others instead of the hard work required to truly be elevated in society. 
If the bra fits, wear it.


 

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