Author Topic: We are not victims  (Read 2461 times)

Busted (and happy)

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For the vast majority 99% or more of us men with breasts we do not have a medical "condition", we certainly will not die from it, thankfully.
We will not die from it and I for one do not need pity.
It can cause discomfort, and perhaps embarrassment  (especially for those still young) and a way of dealing with it is needed . For me comfort is the bliss of routinely donning a bra. "They" certainly behave and feel better when showed this care. The only other support I need is my loving wife.

Three big steps for me in getting to full acceptance have been :
1. Receiving a rather pretty bra as a Christmas present from my wife.
2. Her enjoyment of my two friends in intimate moments.
3. My wife converting a spare room into a dressing room and integrating what are now "our" pick and mix clothes. Trousers are still needfully segregated because of leg length!. There is something very special about cross bra-ing - Just so long as I wash and care for the ones I bought!!


I have nothing to apologise for and refuse to live life as if I do.
I am as much part of a normal spectrum as a flat chested lady.
I do not flaunt my "friends" but I certainly do not feel the need to hide them.
Society in general needs to get over themselves, and keep their noses firmly in their own business.

I do not minimise my own or others struggle to get to this point but the more of us that do the sooner society will lose critical interest.

I am now pleased to have breasts even to the point of wistfully hoping they might get a little bit bigger!
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are very normal.
Adapt, enjoy CELEBRATE









« Last Edit: May 14, 2022, 02:48:01 AM by Busted (and happy) »

Offline Evolver

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I am as much part of a normal spectrum as a flat chested lady.
This.

For all you newbies out there, this is just another example of the wisdom and advice found on this forum that you should find invaluable. Well said, Busted, well said. 

aboywithgirls

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Hey fellas!

Anyone, male or female who can benefit from wearing a bra should wear one without fear of being shamed or embarrassed. Anyone male or female who sees no benefit or just doesn't want to wear one should not be shame either.

It's more than accepted for me to wear a bra outside of my house, it's expected. We have it so ingrained in our society that things are black and white. I've learned that nothing is black or white but it is 10 trillion shades of gray.

I was lucky enough that I was introduced at a relatively young age to the benefits of wearing a bra. I knew immediately, at that time, that I would likely wear one the rest of my life. Looking back, I remember feeling grateful for the option of a bra. It was a couple years later, I had the second bra talk with my mother and I had developed enough that going braless wasn't an option anymore.

I have never considered myself a victim of gynecomastia nor did I ever suffer from it. I think those that do "suffer" from gynecomastia, suffer because society says that "your breasts cannot be comfortable, supported or shaped because you are a man". That is incredibly silly. Just because I wear a skirt suit and slingbacks to work, does not give me the power to exclude someone in loafers and slacks from the same benefit from a bra that gets me through my day.

love yah guys🥰

your sister,
Sophie

Offline Johndoe1

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For the vast majority 99% or more of us men with breasts we do not have a medical "condition", we certainly will not die from it, thankfully.
We will not die from it and I for one do not need pity.

.......

I have nothing to apologise for and refuse to live life as if I do.
I am as much part of a normal spectrum as a flat chested lady.
I do not flaunt my "friends" but I certainly do not feel the need to hide them.
Society in general needs to get over themselves, and keep their noses firmly in their own business.

I do not minimise my own or others struggle to get to this point but the more of us that do the sooner society will lose critical interest.

I am now pleased to have breasts even to the point of wistfully hoping they might get a little bit bigger!
There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are very normal.
Adapt, enjoy CELEBRATE
Well said busted. And all true.

Men and women have the same building blocks for breasts. It's the same with men's testes are made of the same building blocks as women's ovaries. Our ratio of testosterone to estrogen should mean that those blocks for breasts are never used or they become testes outside of the body instead of ovaries on the inside of the body. But sometimes things get in the way to disrupt what society considers normal, but in nature is completely normal.

I am a male. Through no fault of my own, I have developed what society considers a very feminine trait, breasts. They have developed to the point that support and containment of this tissue is preferred over not. To achieve this level of comfort requires a garment that society has deemed something only women wear. Why? Because society dictates only women have breasts. Something Mother Nature disagrees with. We here are living proof that is a fallacy. Like our sister Sophie has said, she was well endowed since puberty. Wore a bra all her life. Had to hide that fact and endure the indignity of societies rule that bras and breasts were the sole domain of women. Years later she finds her true calling is indeed a woman and not a man. She transitions and all of a sudden those same breasts which society denied as a man, now, as a woman, her breasts must be encased in a bra so not to be "vulgar" in appearance because society dictates a woman who goes around braless is considered "loose", not ladylike. Same boobs, different definition.

I am not trying to be a woman. I am trying to be what I am, a guy with boobs. In order to take care of them, I have to look towards women and how they do it because men can't help me. That means I will do similar things and dress my upper half similarly because my male clothes are not built for boobs. Just the laws of physics. You can't put a square peg in a round hole. That doesn't mean I will go around in a shear see-through satin top with my bra showing underneath, even though in the summer, that's not a bad idea to keep from burning up. No, I will adapt clothing to give me the best appearance possible and to give the most comfort possible, physical as well as mental, even if that means it comes from the women's section, just like anyone else, man or woman.

For me personally, that's not a "condition", that's living life.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Confused old man

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All clothing to me is unisex. Women shop the men’s depot and men shop the women’s department. We should all open our minds and wear what fits and and suits your personality...now that being said...just five or six years ago I would not agree with that...funny what a shift in hormones can do to the mind and body.😃..hormones are a very powerful thing.

Offline 42CSurprise!

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I always love a story with a happy ending and comments thus far suggest some of us have been successful in arriving there.  This website was created by a man who found his happy ending by cutting off the breasts that had embarrassed him his whole life.  The site now belongs to a surgeon who offers such services to men like us... so long as we have the money and are willing to take the risk.

I'm not in a relationship and consequently, am not doing an intimate dance with a partner who is accepting of my body.  I might be at more peace if that were the case.  Clearly, we each have our own journey.  It is wonderful reading about men who have found self-acceptance and even enjoyment with who they are and how they express themselves.  This website really is an oasis for men still struggling to come to terms with their bodies.  I'm glad I found it.  I agree we're not victims, but being different is never easy.

aboywithgirls

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Clearly, we each have our own journey.  It is wonderful reading about men who have found self-acceptance and even enjoyment with who they are and how they express themselves.  This website really is an oasis for men still struggling to come to terms with their bodies.  I'm glad I found it.  I agree we're not victims, but being different is never easy.
I was very concerned for quite some time about revealing my transition to the the members of this forum. I was concerned that I wouldn't be welcome because my points of view would not be relevant.

My heart so  warmed that you understand that even though my path is very different than most here, I can relate to how many of you feel about having your breasts and trying gain acceptance for them as well as getting to reap the benefits of having them and wearing a bra rather than lesser healthy options like surgery or binding.

Thank you❤️🤗
Sophie

Offline 42CSurprise!

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I'm glad you chose to introduce yourself Sophie.  It is true most of us dealing with gynecomastia have chosen to continue as men, yet having breasts appear during adolescence was unsettling.  Those are the years when all of us are coming to terms with our bodies, our place in the world as we become grounded in our gender.  Gender is typically thought of in terms of our genitals but we now understand that what our bodies look like doesn't always line up with how we feel about ourselves.  Those breasts certainly made that whole consideration much more complex and gender identity is in that mix.  Despite the angst evident in the general population when the subject of gender identity is broached, this is probably a much easier time for adolescents as they navigate this territory.  You simply show us the road less traveled, both by the fact your mother was so supportive and the fact it led you eventually to conclude you wished to be a woman.  I find that inspiring.

I've no idea what choices I would make if I were an adolescent right now.  Of course, my journey was made more complicated by the sexual trauma I experienced as a young boy.  It is all beside the point right now because I'm not a young boy.  I'm a grown man with breasts doing my best to claim my aliveness.  It is heartening to me to read about men who've found their way through this minefield and now live with self-acceptance.  I'm glad we found each other and can talk so openly about these matters.  We all need support along the way.

Orb

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Busted and Happy...thank you for starting this. 
Those that have replied are the examples of why this side of the forum is important. 
It's all true!
No shame here.  We are what we are!  Not by choice but design.  Again, not our own however, accepted. 
Mother nature is a mad scientist.
Sophie,... Glad your here! Glad you, are who you are!!!

Offline gotgyne

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All clothing to me is unisex.
I second this. But there are some very narrow minded people who disagree about this. More than 10 years ago I visited a store with my wife and wore shorts with nude pantyhose. One of the two female cashiers whispered to her workmate "Look at this perv!". My ears are in an excellent state comparing to some other parts of my body. I choose to ignore this remark. Today I'd sue the woman. Enough is enough!
« Last Edit: May 20, 2022, 04:53:12 PM by gotgyne »
A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts.

Dudewithboobs

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Yeah even I feel if someone sees me in the bra dept alone clearly looking for a bra I’ve gone from grab and scatter to feel the material and observe the straps bands etc it’s clear I’m there for me. I see someone pass by or come in from the side entrance of the dept and recognize I’m there. They go about their business I haven’t seen any wtf is this guy doing here looks but I still feel a little insecure like they are in their heads saying it. I would have largely voiced all clothes aren’t unisex last week but here I am day two in panties women’s jeans and bralette like la la la lol 

aboywithgirls

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Two years ago, I was a crossdresser AND I "suffered " from gynecomastia. I think that  most here know that I never really "suffered " from gynecomastia. I wore my bra out of need and panties by choice for 30 years before becoming me. I feel that it is insane that I can drop both of those labels because my driver's license says "female".

Yes, I  have  changed a few things in the past couple years, but, that doesn't suddenly give me any exclusive privilege to shop for and wear "women's " clothing and shoes. I wore and still wear clothing that fit. Many others here have discovered and have been enjoying the fact that certain articles of clothing that are typically marketed for women, are a better fit and more comfortable. 

❤️Sophie 

Offline gotgyne

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Sophie, you're right, we know from your comments that you never suffered from gynecomastia :). I even dare to say that gynecomastia is not a disease. Nevertheless it can be a burden for such men who identify clearly as male. 100 per cent male! But these are stereotypes and roles, since in fact the spectrum is very wide. Every boy and man must decide for himself what he thinks about his breasts. For this reason I'm pleading for comprehensive information on all possibilities. And I would suggest the less invasive alternatives at first. #1: Doing nothing. #2: Wearing a gynecomastia vest. #3: Wearing a bra. #4: Surgery.
Nevertheless there is one problem. Many boys and men would never try number three :(. And if they are inclined to wear a bra it is more than possible that the parents or the girlfriends/wifes are not okay with it. Sophie, you had a very sympathetic mother and all of us can only wish that other boys and men have such loving and caring mothers/parents and girlfriends/wives too.

John
« Last Edit: May 22, 2022, 12:54:36 PM by gotgyne »

Busted (and happy)

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Don't have any probs with your order but personally I would not advocate #2l As a health professional with past involvement in breast screening planning I can say that any chest or abdominal compression is definitely not a healthy option and is universally deprecated by the medical profession.
I can fully appreciate why anyone without relevant knowledge might innocently include it, but it really is a bit of no, no. 

Dudewithboobs

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Yeah even women who wear sports bras a lot for work activity etc don’t condone doing so cause of discomfort and hindrance to long term wear to the breasts. I can’t imagine a compression shirt is any better and probably worse given it’s size so assume it’s even more uncomfortable. 
With health care professionals I was thinking of seeing a doctor my wife goes to. We had same doctor for awhile he retired she found this new one and likes her and figured may be nice just keeping everything at the same place again. That said as health care professionals has a dr ever actually said “how long have you had or noticed growth” assuming they will notice if it’s bad enough and ask as general information as a new patient if not in files already. And then ask does it bother you or give you discomfort and if saying yes has actually advised these options mentioned prior? 
I’m just really curious if a doctor would without being prompted advise a male patient with sizable breasts or fullness to wear a bra? I’d imagine it would be a “is a bra something men actually consider for these situations” as to draw their honest opinion and not dismiss potential offending in telling a man a bra is your best bet. 
Be nice to have a prescription for a bra like hey honey how was the doctor everything ok. Yeah babe everything seems ok but with my chest she actually recommended a bra take a look lol


 

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