Author Topic: Gyne midlife crisis - my diary  (Read 22019 times)

Offline Pferdestärken

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OK, I've taken the big step now, I'm booked for surgery. Time to start a diary!

First, a reminder to all:

In order to ensure the system works as planned,  few simple rules should be followed:
1) Please respect people's diary threads, and DO NOT post in any diary thread that is not your own. ... Thanks in advance for your co-operation!


and ...

Any unauthorised use of any images contained in the diary will result in legal action.

The story so far ...

I have always had gyne, as far as I can recall.
Teenage years were hell, I was late onset puberty and had gyne - it couldn't have been worse. I don't think I ever got anything other than grade E on reports for PE!

I got fat in my twenties to hide the problem I got married at 23, so somehow did manage to have a life, but always conscious of the gyne - even if then I had no idea what it was. I just had boobs and felt a freak.

Late twenties I got fit, cycled a lot, weight 12st at 6ft. Still had gyne, but was too skinny (wifes words!).

Got into weights as I turned 30 (having dabbled early twenties but never got serious). Built up a well equipped home gym over a few years - 45 degree leg press, smith machine, lat station, olympic barbell sets etc etc. Built up my body at the same time, got very knowledgeable about diet, and was basically a fitness freak and gym rat. Was on the Anabolic Diet (carb and high potein.fat cycling), having dismissed Atkins as not being radical enough - this was over 10 years ago mind you! Got to 17st at low bodyfat, could do one arm chins, squat 1.5 times bodyweight, had to modify my leg press machine to fit more plates on (I think I was pressing 400kg at one point) and at one point was working out 5/6 hours a day. Still had gyne.

Mid thirties I chilled on the gym a bit, pressure of work. Plus it wasn't actually working re the gyne! Shrunk a bit, settled at 15st, 2/3 times a week in the gym now. Gyne a bit worse as fattened up a bit but now have muscle, fat and gyne on the chest - not attractive.

Turned 40. Became a father. Gym time even less frequent as other priorities take over, as you'd expect. Still have gyne, but don't care too much by this point.

Now approaching 45. Little boy is MUCH bigger. Gyne suddenly becomes a big issue when little boy starts wondering why daddy has boobs.

That's it so far ... obviously I've missed out the usual stuff about how I hide the condition, how some people who found out and took the p**s, how I rarely go swimming, don't join in sports etc etc. If you have gyne, you know the drill.

Last year I saw the C4 documentary "Boy with Breasts", and registered on here (originally as PS, the abbreviation for my new handle). We have a holiday in Florida coming up, which will be special for our son, and I don't want to spoil it by not being able to visit water parks and so on.

So ... a few weeks ago I made an appointment to see Mr Levick. Hurdle no 1 cleared; consultation booked.I think making that first step may be the the hardest - it certainly took the longest (44 years).

I was a bit apprehensive, but the day came around quickly and off I went.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2005, 01:03:03 AM by phil.short »
Pics | Op 3/6/05 Mr Paul Levick

Offline Pferdestärken

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So today I met Mr Levick.

Nice chap. He did the examination, no doubt about my condition - he said I was the Jordan of the male world, though I suspect that he meant that as a general description of gyne sufferers, not me specifically (I hope) ::)! Not too much poking about in fact (which I had worried about); just hands on hips, tense the chest muscles, OK that bit that moves shouldn't be there.

He explained the procedure, how he came about his technique while operating on someone's finger, showed some pics - including some operating pics which I half expected to get squeamish about, but remarkably didn't - and shot the breeze a little about living with gyne. I was made very comfortable.

Upshot is I have an operation booked. I could have been in 12 days from now  :o, but I opted for a Friday operation and am booked in for 3rd June.

Hurdle no 1 was making an appointment to see someone. Hurdle no 2 was the consultation itself, and thats passed OK. Already I feel much, much better.  :)

Now for hurdle no 3, bringing the better half up to speed ...

Mt Levick's details can be found here: http://www.expertsearch.co.uk/cgi-bin/find_expert?2834
« Last Edit: June 17, 2005, 12:00:43 PM by phil.short »

Offline Pferdestärken

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Hurdle no 3; telling the wife.

Despite being married 21 years now, this is a topic only ever breached once between us. I was nervous about coming out with it, having told the wife I was going to a business meeting this morning. I shouldn't have been of course, she was fantastic.  :-* Yes, its a lot of money, but if its something I need to do then fine, go ahead. She thinks I'm perfect how I am .. love sure is blind!  8)

But, having a son who isn't shy about asking those awkward questions, she understands why I've decided to do something now, after living with it for so long.

Anyway, she was actually quite interested in what gyne is. She ended up examining me herself to see where the tissue was - out of curiousity. I've never really been happy for her to touch my chest, but hell, its not mine now. They're coming off. I don't feel like I need to be defensive about them so much now.  ;D

Explaining the sudden change of shape to my parents and colleagues in a few weeks might be a more of a problem, but hurdle no 3 turned out not to be a hurdle at all. Pretty much like hurdles 1 and 2 really.

I should have done this a LONG time ago.

« Last Edit: May 13, 2005, 12:33:11 PM by phil.short »

Offline Pferdestärken

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Today I received all the details of my appointment at The Priory. All systems go! I'm going to pay in advance, tomorrow.

2 weeks tomorrow I'll be there!

Offline Pferdestärken

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I told a lifelong friend about the surgery at the weekend. He was amazed that I had a problem. For a few seconds I thought maybe I'm deluding myself, that there isn't an issue, that I don't need surgery, and that I'm just being vain/selfish. Just for a few seconds though.

The truth is I've had to live with it, with the cumulative effects of embarrassing situations and comments over the years; he hasn't. While I appreciated that he didn't think it was something to worry about, the bottom line is that's what friends are for - accepting you as you are. The world at large is a little less accepting in my experience. I'm taking his reassurance as testament to how successfully I have hidden the problem over the years more that anything else!

So, a very minor wobble, but nothing near reducing my resolve to do something about this once and for all.

Offline Pferdestärken

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Got a call from The Priory today; my op has been moved to 13:00 (from 08:00). Just as long as it gets done, I don't care what time!

Offline Pferdestärken

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Two days to go now. I've put thoughts of the op itself out of my mind, I'm focussing on the expected results instead. The op is paid for now, so no turning back.

Offline Pferdestärken

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Just hours now. Feeling a little apprehensive at the thought of what I'm going to feel like physically after the op, but  at the same time I am anxious to get it done. I know it will be a while until I see the end results, but ...

Well, today I had a very timely reminder why I'm doing this. We ran out of fabric conditioner (apparently  ;D) a few days ago, and the good lady forgot to get some from Tesco. Clothes got washed without. Today I wore a tee with a logo on the breast, which was obviously a bit stiffer than usual, and I got a very sore nipple. Not as sore as its going to be after tomorrow I'd guess!

I just remembered this evening that I don't have any pyjamas! Along with some reading matter, thats something I must remember to pick up in the morning. Otherwise I guess I'm ready. Arnica'd up, shaved down (I used Veet to get rid of chest, underarm and back hair to minimise bandage removal trauma - a bit stingy but gets rid of the hair alright).

Nothing to eat after 8 in the morning, and along to The Priory for 13:00.  I'll post back here hopefully at Saturday lunchtime. TTFN!

Offline Pferdestärken

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OK its done!

Went in yesterday at 13:00. Got shown to room, settled in and waited. Issued with a gown and surgical stockings (you look like a cross between Orville and Widow Twanky ;)) and got changed. Had blood pressure, temp and pulse taken. BP was high (152/109) so the nurse said to relax and she'd come back when I'd settled in. I guess I was more anxious than I felt. 1/2 hour later it had dropped - still high, but OK for surgery.

Read Paul McKenna's diet book while waiting. Dr Ward (I think that was his name - the anaethatist = some of the details are a little hazy  :P) came up and introduced himself - another nice bloke. Mr Levick popped in to make sure eveything was OK and put me at ease. Made my menu choices for evening meal, breakfast and lunch Saturday, then followed the nurse (tiny oriental lady) down to theatre about 15:30 I think - a little vague as my wife had taken my watch and other valuables home with her.

Into theatre, onto the bed, and first Mr Levick took pre-op picks. Dr Ward started the anaesthetic while a nurse ran through a few questions - just to make sure I was the right person having the right op! Everyone was very friendly and I was perfectly at ease. It seems I was in the middle of a conversation about Apple vs PC with Dr Ward then no recall whatsoever ... until coming to in the recovery room.

Mr Levick was there, along with a nurse.  He told me how much was removed (which he repeated the next day, and yet I'm still not 100% about the figures); I think it was 300cc of fat each side and 40g of "gristle" - about the palm of the hand sized apparently. A fair bit.

I felt fine in recovery, a little tight across the chest, but defimnately no pain. Everything OK, so I was moved back to my room. This was about 5:00 - again, I'm a bit vague as I was coming and going a bit, and lost without my watch!

I had my dinner, which was fine. Following Paul McKennas advice I drank water first, the chewed and savoured every mouthful and stopped when I was full. 14st here I come (I was a bit shocked to weight 16st 7lb).

I then settled back for the evening on the reclining bed, drinking gallons of water, reading, and watching TV. After the second jug of water I tried going to the toilet - doh! Drains are strapped to the bed frame, so its best not to even try getting out of bed! Buzzed for a nurse, who brought some "bottles". I was a bit dubious about peeing into papier mache bottles in bed, but they were suprisingly robust! Went through about eight of these during the course of the night!

I drifted between wide awake watching TV or reading and falling asleep throughout the night, and was entirely comfortable, no pain to speak of unless I tried pushing myself up the bed. Best to adjust the bed and get it to push you into position, less painful. The only real sensation in my chest was one of a snugly fitting bandage - quite comfortable really.

Saturday morning. Had breakfast (which seemed late but wasn't, I'd been awake from 5:30). Again food was fine. Had pills, several nurses came and went checking I was OK. I don't recall their names, there seemed an awful lot of them and they kept changing!

They seemed reluctant to bring another bottle, so I had to wait until someone came to unclip my drain bottles after Mr Levick had dropped by to check on me. The drains were pretty empty, and he was pleased with how things had gone.

So was I! It hadn't registered at first, but when reading I didn't have to prop the magazine on my boobs to read it all. There was just a flat expanse and I could comfortably rest the magazine anywhere on it. Amazing!

After the drains were unclipped I went to the toilet and freshened up. I overdid it a little at first, and was a bit eager flushing the loo. A sharp reminder that I was a bit fragile ensued, followed by nausea. I staggered back to bed and rested for 20 minutes. I then gingerly started getting dressed and tidied up. Another bout of nausea when I put my socks on, so again I laid down until it passed. I'd worked out by now that reaching down was a no-no! Carrying the drain bottles about was a bit of a pain, I was trying not to sit on them or something and rip them out!

Another nurse (Pauline - I remembered one!) took the drains out. I had to call to get that done; I was anxious to have them out before my wife and son (particularly) arrived to take me home. The first one out stung like b*ggery, the second I didn't even notice. Still wincing from the first maybe!

Still no real pain from the chest, and I did have to keep looking down at the flatness to reassure myself that I had been operated on! Once dressed I checked my profile in the bathroom mirror. I've been grinning since! Even over the bandages and some swelling, my shirt just hangs straight down! Result!!!!  :o :D ;D 8) It looks like I just dropped 2st overnight!

I had to wait around a while to get discharged, during which I had some lunch. Despite being warned that rooms had to be vacated by 11am, I was still there at 12:30 having just finished lunch. This must have been expected, as I was given the lunch menu on Friday afternoon. This unfortunately meant my wife and son hanging around for 1 1/2 hours, but he watched a DVD in the car so it wasn't so bad.

I'm home now, still no real pain, and very happy. There is a little soreness on the left side where the painful drain came out, but its probably a one on a scale from one to ten.

Obviously its very early to tell, but Mr Levick thought it went well, and I certainly feel better. Its hard to explain, but I am conscious of the chest just not being there. I have feeling in the chest - I can tense the muscle like normal, but it feels like there is nothing weighing down on top of the pecs now. Which there isn't! I can just feel the bandage against my pecs. I'm wearing a shirt which I know was tight and continually rode up before, if you know what I mean. Its just hanging there, no bulges, no pinching under the arms, no buttons gaping.

Did I say I was happy? I am :D

I'll post some updated pics ASAP.

To anyone not sure or wavering - go for it! It is a piece of cake, absolutely nothing to worry about, you've probably endured worse at the dentist. Yes, £3735 hurts, but thats about as painful as its been so far.

Bandages off in a week - can't wait! I'm expecting "craters" of course, and the infamous scarring, but time is the great healer. Mt Levick did say he was leaving a thin layer of fat to stop sticking problems - this is something I'd expressed concern about in another post on here, so for sure he does keep an eye on this forum!

So, hurdle no 4, the op. Probably the easiest one yet!

Edited to correct reference to wrong spooky guy! It was Paul McKennas diet book, not Derren Brown. Always mixing those two up!
« Last Edit: June 04, 2005, 03:36:19 PM by phil.short »

Offline doddy

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I know this is your diary but still..

Thanks for that post. Reminds me of what I went through, about 8 weeks ago now. Any pain you're in will get less and less, pretty quickly, from my experience anyway.

Good luck for your recovery, take it easy.
etc.

Offline Pferdestärken

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Cheers Doddy!

Updated pics

I've just added four pics, 2 with shirt on, 2 without. Big ugly purple mess on one side looks bad!
« Last Edit: June 04, 2005, 07:58:40 AM by phil.short »

Offline doddy

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Make sure your diary is for public viewing. It's private atm.

Offline Pferdestärken

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That album was set for public viewing, and is again now! Don't know why it changed; bl**dy computers!
« Last Edit: June 05, 2005, 11:35:45 PM by phil.short »

Offline Pferdestärken

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Comfortable night, propped up on pillows with one pillow beneath knees. No appreciable pain. I've put a compression vest on over the bandages this morning just to make sure I'm getting even compression all over- and it goes into the armpits a little more than the bandages. There was some swelling under the armpits at the edges of the bandage, and I'm conerned this might turn into scar tissue if not compressed.

The vest also gives some compression to the large purple area on my right side which should help that dissipate.

Being ultra paranoid I've put the support stockings back on as well, though I intend to keep mobile as much as I can so they shouldn't really be necessary.

Today I'm going to kick back and have a lazy Sunday. I bought some pyjamas and didn't use them at all at The Priory (straight into surgical gown after arrival, then not mobile enough to get into pyjamas after the op - you are not really there long enough to need pyjamas really!) ... so I'm determined to get some use out of them! Don't wear them normally, but hey, I'm an invalid!

Offline Pferdestärken

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Post Op day 3.

The itching started yesterday afternoon! This is good, this is healing. Think positive!

I'm trying hard to keep mobility, but seem to be walking around a lot like I have a coathanger left in my shirt! I want to let the compression do its job and stick the chest area back together.

Some of the purple is turning green/yellow/brown now. Still no real pain, the co-codamol is doing a great job. Slight burning across the entry wounds is about all. I can feel pretty much all across the chest if I tap lightly, so its not numbness.

So, getting dressed this morning I had an amazing choice of clothes to wear. I had put on a few pounds over the last year (OK, a stone!) and a lot of that, inevitably, was on my chest. Most of my shirts, and almost all of by tees, had become tight; too tight to wear. I was down to just three of four of my favourite (slightly stiffer and thicker material) polo shirts. Now I can wear all of my wardrobe. T shirts I haven't worn for two years. Even over the bandages and compression vest they're still baggy! This is great!


 

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